Bare
by theangelshavemymind
Summary: Okay, so Dean was checking out a stripper, and a male one at that, but he didn't care. Stripper Cas AU in which Dean gets all the kinks and falls head over heels for baby blues and a smile that spells out danger.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is basically what the summary says. Cas is a stripper so you can expect a lot of sexy times and porn and whatnot. Just an FYI for those of you who are thinking of reading this. There will also be mentions of rape and possibly other things like that. I will put a warning before the chapters with those in it.**

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The thing Dean really noticed was the wings. They were huge and dark, inked onto pale skin, the feathers so intricate that if he were to put a hand out and brush his fingers along their shafts, he was convinced that they would be soft as the down from a pillow. Dean's eyes followed the movement of muscle under the blackened skin as the man arched his back to get a better position on the smooth metal pole that he was currently wound around.

Okay, so Dean was checking out a stripper, and a _male _one at that, but he didn't care. He was already so drunk that he wouldn't even bat an eye if a flying elephant suddenly landed in the room. Although a part of him did wonder why there was a male stripper at Sam's bachelor party. Well, technically there were two strippers, the wing guy and some brunette who was currently on Ash's lap.

Dean had been the one to convince Sam to get strippers.

"_Come on, Sammy. It's your fucking bachelor party. A few strippers are necessary."_

_"For you, maybe. But you know I'm not into that kinda thing."_

_"Oh can the good boy attitude. If you won't find some, I will, and I'll have them all give you private dances right in front of Jess."_

Eventually Sam had given in and he and Dean had perused the internet until they found some club called Heaven and Hell. It boasted that it "had both the naughty and the nice" and Dean was quite satisfied with the pictures that accompanied the site

Apparently there were two types of stripper that you could hire. People called "Angels" and "Demons." Dean thought it was a little cheesy, but the rates were cheaper than other joints, and the women were hot, so he called in and requested one of each. The man with the accent that had picked up his call sounded all too pleased with the fact that he "wanted a little of both the devil and the saints." Dean had rolled his eyes and told the man the address.

Of course Dean hadn't expected Wing Tats to show up. The woman, whose name appeared to be Meg, had entered shortly after Bobby had left, claiming that he didn't want to be around when the whores showed up. She was drop dead gorgeous and the smile that she gave Sam as she walked in spelled out danger. Dean had been about to make a move on her when the man had showed up.

He was tall and handsome as hell with a long nose and a jaw that had the lightest dusting of stubble on it. Dean wasn't normally into guys, but damn this guy was something else. And his eyes, they were so blue that Dean swore they were going to be burned permanently onto his retinas. Unlike Meg, the man was dressed, for now, and Dean eyes had drifted hungrily over the small bit of skin that was exposed by the undone first button of the guy's Oxford. The clothes hadn't stayed on long though.

The party had moved to the lobby of the hotel they were in and Dean noticed the thin, silver pole that had been set up in the middle of the bar area. Sam and the rest of the guys had gone to get drinks from the bored looking bar tender, Meg following close at their heels, whispering things into their ears and swinging her scantily clad hips. The male stripper was standing near the pole, glancing up at it, and Dean's heart skipped a beat as he realized that Meg and Wing Tats were probably going to dance on it.

He'd been right of course. Meg was the first to go, sliding up and down the pole in smooth movements, elegant and fucking gorgeous. Ash, Garth, Christian and the rest of the boys watched with wide eyes, wolf whistling occasionally. Dean's eyes remained fixed on the man however as he began to shrug off the heavy trench coat he was dressed in.

The loose tie around his neck came next, the silk slipping slightly, pounding against Dean's ears despite the loud music that Adam had started up. The man's blue eyes were fixed on Dean as he tugged the tie loose and started unbuttoning his Oxford. Dean's breath hitched in his throat as the Oxford slid off the man's shoulders, revealing perfectly toned pale skin underneath. Some of the others in the room had turned from watching Meg to stare at Wing Tats, who had slipped off his shoes and was working at rolling up the ends of his tight jeans.

It wasn't really a striptease, but damn was it arousing to watch the way the defined muscles of his arms moved as bunched up the fabric around his ankles. He straightened up and Dean's mouth went dry as the man started stretching. It was almost hypnotizing to watch the way the lean muscles moved under the thin skin. The man finished the exercise with a roll of his neck on his shoulders and then he headed for the pole. Meg was on the floor again now, walking toward Christian who watched her with lidded eyes.

Dean watched with baited breath as Wing Tats fingered the metal pole. He ran his fingers along it slowly and then gripped it tightly with both hands. He swung up, looping one leg around the pole, fitting it in the crook of his knee and then using his thigh muscles to raise himself up higher so he could bend backward, hanging on by just the powerful muscles in his leg.

It was now that Dean noticed the wings, tattooed onto the man's back, the ends of the feathers reaching far below the waistband of his jeans, which were pulled tight across his ass. The man moved up and down the pole effortlessly, muscles bunching under the pale skin, the movements timed perfectly with the music that was blaring from Adam's boom box.

Dean was nearly going out of his mind. Each movement was torture. The way the man's hands gripped the pole, his knuckles white as he gracefully raised his legs above his head. If this wasn't the most arousing thing he had ever watched, Dean was lying through his teeth.

He looked around at the others, trying to judge their reactions. Ash and Christian were too busy with Meg, who was giving Ash a lap dance that involved Christian running his hands down her back. Garth and Adam were trying to avert their eyes from either of the strippers, but Dean could see Adam's eyes dart up to stare at Wing Tats occasionally. Dean sighed, at least he wasn't the only one completely transfixed by this man.

The slick sound of skin sliding over metal drew Dean's attention back to the pole. The man was hanging with one arm crooked around the pole, his legs swept outward. Dean's eyes followed the drops of sweat that slid down the man's spine, moving over the dark ink. The man's eyes were closed and it was obvious that he was concentrating hard on his task.

There was a hand on his shoulder and Dean jumped. Sam was next to him now. He nudged Dean in the side and cocked his head in the direction of Wing Tats, an eyebrow raised. Fuck. Sam knew Dean better than anybody and Dean knew that he could see he was aroused as hell by this guy.

Dean tried to stutter out a sentence but Sam just shook his head and passed Dean two twenty dollar bills. Dean's eyes went wide and his heart did a weird sort of flip flop in his chest. He was damn broke so any thoughts of something like a lap dance from this guy hadn't even entered his mind. Sam gave Dean a look and then went over to sit down at the bar.

Dean gulped and then slowly, ever so slowly, inched his way toward the pole. The man was in the middle of an interesting pose that made his spine bow so far that it looked painful. He straightened out again and threw a leg over the pole. Dean watched him breathe and then he was taken aback as the man's intense eyes opened. Dean was stuck staring at that impossible blue and he couldn't breathe.

The man cracked a small smile and it urged Dean on. He'd been to quite a few strip clubs, he knew the process, he'd just never been interested in a dude like this before. He took a deep breath, put on his best seductive smile and then pulled one of the twenties out of his pocket. He twined the bill through his fingers, and the man paused in his dance. He braced his legs against the pole, hooking his knees around it so that he was suspended by his legs and yeah Dean's eyes were sweeping over every clenched muscle as the man reached a hand out and took the bill from Dean. He tucked it into his pocket and then he was sliding down the pole and standing in front of Dean, looking at him like a cat would a mouse.

Dean watched with wide eyes as the man put a finger out and traced Dean's jaw. Dean forgot how to think as his head went fuzzy and then the man was pushing at him slightly, hard enough to signify that Dean should back up. Dean did and nearly fell into the chair that had somehow appeared behind him. He looked frantically over at the rest of his group, but they were preoccupied with Meg who was heading toward the pole.

Dean looked back up at Wing Tats who was sliding slowly off the platform that the pole had been set up on. He had an interesting expression on his face, something between boredom and interest, but there was no denying the feral spark in his azure eyes.

He walked slowly up to Dean and Dean's heart began thrumming in his chest. The man surveyed him through lidded eyes and then he smoothed his hands down himself, palms spreading over the muscles of his torso, fingers stopping as he reached the waistband of his jeans. His fingers tapped the belt a few times, as though he were deciding whether or not to keep his pants on. He must have decided against it though as he simply stepped forward and slid into Dean's lap, clenching his legs around Dean's and Dean was definitely hard now.

He bit his bottom lip hard as Wing Tats put his hands on the back of the chair, trapping Dean's head between his arms. He let his eyes move over Dean's face and the blood pooled in Dean's gut at the gaze from those cerulean orbs. The man moved one hand to Dean's face, cupping his jaw and running a finger over the stubble that lined Dean's cheek. Dean gasped aloud as the man's thumb moved to drag across his bottom lip. Unintentionally Dean bucked his hips into the man's, instantly regretting it as the man drew back slightly, but then he was grinding against Dean, rubbing his jeans against Dean's clothed erection.

Dean hissed and threw his head back, arms flailing as he tried to find something, anything, to hold onto other than the man. Wing Tats pressed harder into Dean's crotch, keeping Dean's legs pinned under him. Dean let out a whine at the contact and then his mind went white momentarily as the man's fingers slipped down to the buckle of Dean's belt. He yanked at it hard, nearly pulling Dean's ass off the chair and then he was unbuckling it, making Dean moan and clench his fists as he unzipped Dean's fly slowly.

The man leaned forward and brushed his lips against Dean's ear. He licked the shell of it and Dean bit his lip so hard he felt blood in his mouth. Then the man's fingers were trailing down his dick, which was straining so hard against his boxers that it was painful. Dean's head went light and he rocked his hips up a bit, nails digging into his palms as he tried to keep from running his hands over the man who was pleasuring him.

The man's breath beat against Dean's ear and he said in a husky voice, "Another twenty and I'll let you touch me."

Dean's mouth fell open. This guy's voice was definitely the sexiest thing he'd ever heard, gravely and low and fucking gorgeous. He couldn't get the money out fast enough, but once he did, he stuck it into Wing Tats's belt and then surged upward to latch onto the man's neck, lips eager against the alabaster flesh.

The man hissed into his ear and angled his neck away from Dean with a, "Now, now. I said touch, not mark." He ran a finger down Dean's cheek and ordered, "Hands only."

Dean nodded dumbly and then he gripped the man's hips tightly as Wing Tats ran a finger down Dean's cock again. He flicked at the front of Dean's boxers, which were already damp and then he was moving so that he could slip a hand into Dean's boxers. Dean inhaled sharply as the man's fingers slid over the heated skin around his twitching cock. The man gripped Dean in his hand and Dean threw his head back, hitting the edge of the back of the chair, but not caring in the least because fuck, just fuck this guy was so good.

Dean thrust his hips into the man's hand as Wing Tats pumped him a few times. He swiped a finger over the head of Dean's dick and Dean growled. He could feel that fire beginning to burn in his veins and then the man was moving his hand rhythmically and his lips were on Dean's neck, lapping at the sweat that was pooling in the dip of Dean's collar bone. That was all it took to put Dean over the edge. He arched up and his body burned white hot, fire rushing through his veins. He came back down with a gasp, leaning his forehead against the shoulder of the man as he panted. That was the quickest anyone had ever gotten him to come and damn was it good.

"Fucking Christ man," Dean breathed, his voice shaky.

He could feel the man smile against his neck and then he was being tucked back into his jeans. The man zipped him up with an the air of a person who'd just finished eating a sandwich instead of making Dean orgasm so good that his head was still spinning.

Dean watched through lidded eyes as the man stood up again. He pulled the twenty out of his belt, tucked it into his pocket, and then proceeded to wipe his cum covered hand on his jeans. He winked at Dean and then he walked over to where Meg was lip locked with Ash. Dean's eyes followed the man as he bent down to whisper something into Meg's ear. Meg pulled away from Ash and then got up. She and Wing Tats headed in the direction of the discarded pile of clothing by the pole. Meg waited for Wing Tats to pull on his shirt and his tie and then he offered her his trench coat. She pulled it around herself and they both headed in the direction of the lobby. Wing Tats held the door open for her, and Dean's breath hitched as the man held his gaze for a full minute before leaving, the hotel door swinging shut behind him.

The rest of the night was a blur in Dean's mind. He vaguely remembered Ash dancing on top of one of the tables to "Can't Touch This" and then everything was sorta fuzzy. He woke with his face pressed into Sam's ass while Sam was sprawled out over the floor, snoring like a damn chainsaw. It had taken quite a while for all of them to make their way back to their respective houses, and Dean had crashed on his couch the moment he stumbled through his door. He was out as soon as his face hit the cushion.

Dean turned up to work an hour late. He hadn't really slept. Every time he'd closed his eyes, he'd seen the blue of Wing Tats's eyes and he lost count of how many dreams involved warm hands and pale skin. He didn't even want to think about the dream that had had him waking up covered in his own jizz. Damn he was losing it. But he'd be damned if that guy didn't live up to his title of Demon or Angel, whichever one he was. Dean had a feeling he was probably the Angel side of the club, seeing as Meg seemed the type to flaunt the devilish smile and the spiky tail. There was something about Wing Tats that seemed different, and Dean was dying to call up the agency and request a private session with him. He didn't normally go for dudes, but this guy was something else.

Bobby didn't gripe as much as Dean thought he would. Just slapped him upside the head and told him that he better be on time for the next five thousand shifts. Dean gave him a lopsided smile and then slid under the car that he was tuning up for the day. The hours passed quickly, but his mind wandered more than once to Wing Tats and the feel of him pressed up against him, all muscle and chapped pink lips and gravelly voice and perfection. Dean had to take a quick wank in the bathroom before he left, muttering curses as he clocked out. He just couldn't get this guy out of his head, which is why he called Heaven and Hell as soon as he got home.

The sleazy man with the accent answered, "Heaven and Hell. This is Balthazar speaking, how may I help you?"

Dean took a deep breath and said, "Yeah, I was wondering if you could hook me up with one of your guys."

"Angel or Demon?" Balthazar asked in a drawl and Dean could hear some papers rustling in the background.

"Er," Dean answered, racking his brain to remember if he ever got Wing Tats name, or stage name, which he hadn't. He cleared his throat, "Actually I was looking for a specific guy. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, full wings tattoo on his back."

Balthazar chucked on the other end of the line and then he said, "You must be talking about Emmanuel. He's my best stripper. Doesn't matter if you're straight, queer, or somewhere in between, he will get you off regardless."

"Yeah," Dean breathed, "Had a bit of that first hand the other night."

There was a snort from Balthazar and then the man said, "Let me guess, you want a private session do you?" Dean started to stutter out a reply, but Balthazar cut him off with a quick, "Hate to burst your bubble, but Emmanuel doesn't do private sessions. Only bars or groups. So unless you've got a party planned in the near future, I'd find something else to get you off."

Dean's face fell and he mumbled, "Great." He sighed. "Well thanks anyway."

"Mmmhmm," Balthazar mumbled before there was a click and he hung up.

Dean sat back on his couch, letting the phone fall onto the cushions. So much for trying to get a private session with this guy, who apparently went by Emmanuel. Dean had a thought and he got up to grab his laptop. He went to the website for Heaven and Hell and then went to the link for the available strippers. Sure enough, under the Angels section, was the name Emmanuel. Dean opened the tab and his breath hitched in his throat. Displayed on the screen was a picture of the man stretched out over the hood of a car, dressed only in dark jeans, which had the button undone, showing a bit of skin. Dean's eyes traveled hungrily over the pale skin that contrasted sharply with the black hood of the car. He definitely had a hard on for this guy.

There was a address in small print at the bottom of the page and Dean clicked it. It took him to the home site for a local bar called "Crowley's" Dean grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down the address, glancing at the time. The bar opened in two hours and he was definitely going if there was a possibility that Emmanuel was going to be there.

Dean was just about to hop in the shower to wash off the work day, when his cell went off, AC/DC blaring through his apartment. He fished it out from the couch cushions that it had fallen between and answered with a quick, "Yeah?"

Sam's voice answered him, "Did you take home one of my shoes by accident last night?"

"Your shoe?"

"Yeah, I can't find it. Woke up this morning and it was gone."

Dean snorted. "Nope. haven't seen it. It's probably back at the hotel."

"Figured as much," Sam sighed. There was a pause and then Sam asked, "Whatcha up to?"

Dean chewed his lip. There was no way he was going to tell Sam that he was counting down the hours until he could go see the stripper, the _male_ stripper, that had been at the party last night. Instead he just said, "I'm watching... uh, tv."

"Don't tell me you're watching that Dr. Sexy show again," Sam said.

"Hey," Dean replied, "It's a good show."

"Whatever," Sam sneered, "Just don't tell me how many times you jerk off to that dude in the cowboy boots."

"Bitch," Dean hissed into the phone.

Sam's standard reply of "Jerk" came with a small laugh and then Dean hung up the phone.

It turned out that Dr. Sexy M.D. was on, so Dean decided to watch a couple of episodes until the bar would open. He didn't really pay attention to much of the plot, constantly checking the time to see how much longer until he could head down to Crowley's. Eventually he just gave up, switched off the television, grabbed the keys to his Impala and headed out the door.

He drove around for a bit, counting down the minutes and then he pulled his phone and switched it to GPS, following the directions to the bar. He pulled up, leaning over the steering wheel to see the place. It was small, but there was one hell of a party going on inside. Dean could see people silhouetted against the drawn blinds and there was a neon sign advertising the entertainment that Dean was here for. He parked the Impala and slipped inside, nervously fingering his wallet, where he had stashed a couple of twenties and fifties. He was definitely gonna be broke forever.

The interior of the bar was smoky and Dean squinted through it to scan the room. It was large, and he could see a narrow hallway that led to several backrooms which, judging by the strippers that were currently dancing on top of a stage in the middle of the bar, were used for private sessions. Dean's eyes flicked over the women dancing, slightly disappointed that Emmanuel's dark head of hair wasn't bobbing somewhere between them.

He headed for the bar, nodding at the bartender to hit him up with a beer. The woman did, giving him a sultry wink as she passed him the bubbling beverage. He ignored her and grabbed the glass, turning around to watch the proceedings of the club as he sipped at his drink.

A couple of the woman were dancing together, rubbing against each other and earning wolf whistles from the men watching them. Dean took another sip of his beer. Part of him wished he were here for that. Hell he swore he'd been straight yesterday, well he liked to think that, but there was Aaron back in high school, although that had been a one nighter, the one nighter that he'd never told anyone about, aside from Sammy of course. His dad would have beaten the hell out of him, if he'd known that his son had fucked the boy from math class. Dean had tried to stay away from dick, but he couldn't deny the fact that he was often more attracted to men. He'd steal side glances at the dudes that would come in to tune up their cars, and he was a sucker for a man in a suit and tie.

Sam knew that Dean was attracted to men, and he was good enough not to rub it in his face and to give Dean a couple of twenties when he noticed that his brother was nearly drooling over the male stripper at his bachelor party.

Dean took another long sip of his beer and checked the time on his watch. He could ask someone if Emmanuel was going to be here, but he didn't exactly like the idea of going up to some random stranger and asking whether or not he was going to get some action with the stripper that gave him the best orgasm he'd had in a while.

He sighed and finished off his drink, staring out the bottom of the glass as he drained it. He nearly choked on the last sip as he spied a familiar dark head of hair through the warped glass. He lowered it quickly, and yeah, that was definitely Wing Tats (or Emmanuel or whatever he was called) dancing with a blonde.

Dean set the glass on the bar and watched as Emmanuel ran his hands up and down the woman's side. She was dressed in a skimpy bra and undies that had lace hanging off of them. She moved slightly and Dean's mouth dropped open, because Emmanuel was dressed in very tight black briefs, a bowtie, and black Converse sneakers. Dean's eyes followed the sharp curve of his hips, slipping down to the V of his hips and then over the front of the briefs. Fuck. Just fuck.

He ran a hand through his hair and tried to focus. Emmanuel was now running his lips up the side of the woman's neck. He began moving his hips into her ass in slow movements that made Dean nearly go out of his mind. He needed to get a grip. He should probably just go, get back into his Impala and just go home, but the blood was pumping in his ears and he couldn't tear his eyes away as Emmanuel rocked his hips against the woman.

Dean slid off the barstool and made his way over to the stage that Emmanuel and the blonde were dancing on. He slipped between two guys that reeked of alcohol and stared up at Emmanuel. His eyes drifted over every displayed muscle, followed every movement. The blonde turned around in Emmanuel's grasp and ground their hips together. His hands came to cup her ass and Dean watched as his large palms squeezed her slightly. They moved together a few times and Dean tried to keep his breathing steady as Emmanuel jerked his hips into hers. The blonde trailed her fingers down Emmanuel's sides and then she was backing away to go wind around one of the poles that were attached to the table.

Dean's eyes remained fixed on Emmanuel. He nearly had a heart attack when the blue eyes locked onto his and then a small smile was spreading across the stripper's face and he was stepping closer to Dean. Dean tried to keep his heart from beating out of his chest as Emmanuel kneeled on the stage so that he was eye to eye with Dean.

He ran one finger down Dean's cheek and asked in his fucking heavenly voice, "Back for more?"

Dean nodded stupidly and then he was pulling out his wallet, fumbling for the fifty and handing it to Emmanuel with a hungry look in his eyes. Emmanuel eyed the bill and then he let his eyes travel over Dean's face. He tapped a finger against his knee in thought and then he yanked the bill out of Dean's fingers and slipped it into his sneaker. He stood up and walked over to the where the stage lowered a bit and hopped off it with unnatural grace. He crooked a finger at Dean and then headed in the direction of the back rooms. Dean nearly tripped over his own feet as he ran after him.

Emmanuel slipped inside the first room and Dean followed eagerly, hardly believing that this was happening. The room was small with a single bed that sat in the middle. Dean's breath hitched as Emmanuel went over to it. He didn't lie down however, just stared at it while tapping his chin in thought. Dean's eyes roamed over the feathers that stained the man's back. He was never going to get over how fucking sexy this guy was.

He turned around and faced Dean, crossing his arms and he said, "We can do this many ways, but it all depends on how much you wanna fork over. Another fifty and I'll blow you."

Dean made a small noise in the back of his throat and he stuttered out, "Really?"

Emmanuel shrugged. "Unless you'd rather just get another lap dance."

"No," Dean said quickly pulling out another fifty and practically thrusting it at Emmanuel.

Emmanuel grinned wolfishly and then he pointed to the bed. "Lie down."

Dean obeyed, sprawling backward on the red bed sheet, his eyes fixed on Emmanuel who had hooked his thumbs into the briefs. Dean licked his lips as he let his eyes travel over the expanse of skin and muscle that was before him. His gaze drifted back up to Emmanuel's face and he was surprised to see that the stripper was grinning.

Emmanuel stepped closer to him and put his palms on Dean's chest, pushing him back against the bed. Dean's hands scrambled at the sheets as Emmanuel straddled him. Emmanuel rubbed against Dean's hips slightly and Dean threw his head back, hands clenching the fabric.

Leaning down, Emmanuel whispered into his ear, "Would you like to touch me?"Dean nodded emphatically and Emmanuel chuckled.

He moved so that he could tug at the buttons of Dean's jacket, slipping it off him and then working at pulling his shirt over his head. Dean gasped as the stripper put his warm hands on his chest. He traced a pattern over Dean's stomach and then followed it with his tongue, wet and slick against Dean's skin. Dean cried out and grabbed onto Emmanuel's shoulders

He was promptly slapped across the face and he looked up with wide eyes at Emmanuel who hissed, "I didn't say you could touch me yet." He ran a finger down the stinging flesh of Dean's cheek and whispered, "Hands above your head until I say you can move them, understand?"

"Yes," Dean growled, raising his hands above his head and pressing them into the bedspread.

Emmanuel gave a short nod of satisfaction, and then, for good measure, he gripped Dean's wrists with one hand while the other went to tease at one of Dean's nipples. He tweaked it and Dean groaned, thrusting his hips up, trying to get friction against Emmanuel. Emmanuel raked his nails over Dean's skin and then moved his lips to Dean's neck, trailing soft kisses over the straining sinews as Dean arched up from the bed.

"Do you like that?" Emmanuel growled against his skin.

Dean whimpered in reply and Emmanuel grinned before nipping at Dean's collar bone and making Dean mewl loudly. Part of Dean wanted to be embarrassed for the way he was acting, he was normally the one to dish it out, but this guy, fuck, he was amazing and it took all of Dean's willpower not to wrench his hands from his grasp and run them over the lean muscles of the stripper.

Emmanuel dragged his tongue along Dean's skin and Dean bucked up from the bed again. He struggled against the iron grip of the man's hands on his wrists, but Emmanuel stilled him with a hand to his lower stomach.

"Wanna touch you," Dean gasped out as Emmanuel sucked at his neck.

"Not yet," Emmanuel commanded, and Dean wondered how this guy's voice was so fucking steady. He was nearly going out of his mind.

Emmanuel's hands skirted over Dean's sides and Dean leaned up obediently as the stripper worked his fingers under Dean's belt. He unbuckled it and pulled it off in a smooth motion, the metal clanging as he threw it over his shoulder. His quick fingers unzipped Dean's fly and then he was yanking Dean's jeans down over his erection.

Dean threw his head back against the bed as Emmanuel ground his own cock against Dean's and yeah, this stripper was definitely hard as well. Dean thrust his hips into Emmanuel's and Emmanuel hissed against Dean's ear. He raised himself up off of Dean, but Dean hooked his legs around Emmanuel's waist, bringing him back against him and grinding their hips together.

He stopped quickly as Emmanuel bit him hard behind the ear, so hard that it made Dean yelp out. "What the fuck?" Dean yelled, trying to deny the fact that the stripper's teeth against his skin was arousing as hell.

"You don't move unless I tell you too," Emmanuel ordered.

"Fine," Dean breathed.

He let himself go slack against the bed, despite the fact that he desperately wanted to run his lips down Emmanuel's chest that was heaving above him. The stripper gripped Dean's hips tightly and then he moved his lips down to Dean's chest, sucking slightly. Dean groaned and clenched his muscles trying not to move under Emmanuel's careful administrations.

The stripper mouthed at one of Dean's nipples and Dean growled loudly, trembling as he tried to keep still. Emmanuel flicked his tongue against Dean's skin and then he was moving his hot mouth down to Dean's stomach, further and further, until he reached the top of Dean's boxers.

He slid off Dean and onto the floor, commanding, "Sit up."

Dean did, spreading his legs automatically while Emmanuel kneeled in front of him. So much for not doing private sessions.

Emmanuel watched Dean through lidded eyes as he said, "Take them off."

Dean clenched his jaw and shimmied his boxers off, letting them pool at his ankles. This was so worth the hundred he was spending on Emmanuel. He braced himself against the bed as Emmanuel ran his hands over Dean's thighs. Dean's cock was completely hard now and he grunted as Emmanuel's breath beat against his heated skin.

The stripper looked up at him with those impossible eyes and then he said slowly, "You may touch me until I bring you to orgasm, then you have to stop, understood?"

Dean bit his lip and nodded and then Emmanuel's mouth was on his cock and his hands were wound in the dark hair. He threw his head back and let out a loud moan, because shit this guy was so good, so fucking good he that he might just come right now.

Emmanuel moved his tongue over Dean's dick, licking a stripe from shaft to tip and making Dean cry out. Dean's jaw went slack as Emmanuel took him in all the way, sucking and twirling his tongue. Dean thrust into the wet heat of the stripper's mouth and he was surprised as Emmanuel took him in further, the muscles of his throat clenching around Dean's cock and dammit this guy should be choking. But it was so good, so fucking good and then Dean was coming, hands braced against Emmanuel's shoulders. Everything was white and he was on fire. He barely registered Emmanuel swallowing and then there was an odd noise, a sort of groaning and Dean could have sworn he saw Emmanuel's eyes go wide as his body was wreaked with a forceful spasm.

Dean blinked once and fuck, that was definitely cum on the carpet next to the strippers knees. Dean caught Emmanuel tucking himself back into his skimpy briefs and then the stripper was standing up and brushing himself off, running his tongue over his lips once. Dean could just stare, because the stripper had come as well after blowing him. The thought made Dean's dick twitch, ready for a second round. Emmanuel merely shook his head as Dean started to reach for his wallet to pull out the rest of the cash.

The stripper pointed to Dean's discarded clothing. "Dress and then let yourself out."

He opened the door and left, leaving Dean sitting naked on the bed. Dean sighed and bent down to pull his boxers up. He sidestepped over the semen that was now seeping into the carpet. He wasn't sure on the policies of Heaven and Hell, but he had a feeling that the club's strippers weren't supposed to orgasm themselves while doing a private session. Dean didn't know whether or not to feel special. What he was sure of, was that his mind wasn't any further from Emmanuel now, in fact, he could tell that what had just happened was going to be in his dreams for quite a while.

He wasn't even surprised when he woke up the next morning to wet sheets and the memory of a very graphic dream that involved Emmanuel writing beneath him, blue eyes wide, hair mussed, pink lips mouthing his name in a silent plea. His phone went off shortly after he threw his sheets into the washer.

"Hey, Dean," Sam said when he answered, "I just wanted to make sure that you remember that you're going out for dinner on Friday with Jess and I."

"Shit, I totally forgot," Dean muttered, running over to the NASCAR calendar that was magnetized to his fridge. The slot for next Friday was empty and he grabbed a marker asking, "What time is it?"

"Seven pm," Sam told him, "And it's at the new steakhouse down the road."

"The one that's expensive as hell?" Dean griped as he marked the calendar.

"You only have to pay for your meal," Sam replied, "Unless you've got a date?"

"No," Dean said quickly, "Just me."

"Well then make sure that you don't blow your cash on stupid things," Sam chided, "Cause I sure as hell aint paying for you, and you are going to this dinner because you've already missed out on the other three that we had planned."

"Yeah, yeah," Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair and thinking of the money he'd spent last night.

"Just make sure you're on time," Sam told him before hanging up.

Dean chucked the phone onto the couch and then sat down beside it, putting his head in his hands. At this rate, he was going to definitely die broke, not to mention the fact that he didn't regret spending that cash on Emmanuel last night. It was the best blowjob he'd ever had and at least it would give him something to jerk off to for a while. He knew what he really needed to do, he needed to just forget about that stripper and get on with his life. His brother was getting married in less than a week and he was spending his free time lusting over some dude, and a stripper at that.

Sighing heavily he got up to go make himself a sandwich. Food always helped, and his stomach was rumbling loudly. Of course he was all out of bread and lunchmeat. Cursing, he grabbed his keys and left the apartment. He slipped into the Impala and headed down to the small grocery store that was a few blocks over.

He grabbed one of the small red baskets by the door as he went in, ignoring the wave from the young blonde cashier as he trumped past her. He headed straight for the bread isle, skirting past a couple of small children that were running after their mother. Tapping his boot in annoyance, he glanced over the array of sandwich bread, finally settling for the cheapest kind and throwing it in the basket.

He went over to the deli next and plopped several different kinds of lunchmeat and cheese into the basket. He was just about to head back up to the front when he noticed a man bending over one of the freezers. Dean's eyes flicked over the man's ass, which was damn fine, hugged nicely by the tight jeans he was wearing. Dean's heart nearly skipped a beat as the man stood up and turned around. It was Emmanuel. The stripper was standing across from him in the middle of a grocery store, dressed in a cardigan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews and favs guys! This chapter has sex in it (naturally) and a mention of rape. This story might come in around 50,000 words when I'm done with it, but it could be longer...**

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Dean's mouth fell open at the same time Emmanuel's eyes went wide. Time seemed to stand still for a second and then Dean was surging forward, pointing a finger at Emmanuel and stammering, "You... you're that..."

Emmanuel looked at him with wide eyes and he muttered, "I, erm,"

Dean looked confused. There was no way that this could be the same guy that had blown him last night. This guy was blushing furiously and looking nervously down at his hands, which were clutching a bag of flour tightly. He looked like a frightened schoolboy who'd gotten his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"So what is it really?" Dean asked taking a step closer an putting on his best smile.

"What is what really?" the man asked, his voice still gravelly and sexy as fuck.

"I'm guessing it's not Emmanuel?"

The man blushed furiously and shook his head. He bit his lip and looked around a few times before answering, "That's my, uh, my stage name."

"Yeah I figured as much," Dean replied, eyeing the man and trying to figure out how this guy was the fucking sex god he'd been dreaming about a few hours ago. "You gonna tell me your real name?" Dean asked.

The man cleared his throat and chewed his bottom lip slightly before whispering, "It's Castiel."

"Castiel?" Dean raised his eyebrows, "Sounds exotic."

Castiel looked down at his feet. "It's actually the name of an angel."

Dean had to laugh. "So you're a stripper working for an agency under the title of Emmanuel which means "God with us" and you're named after an angel?"

"Shh," Castiel hissed. He glanced at the people walking past and then back at Dean. "I like to separate my work from my personal life."

"Aw shit," Dean said quickly, "Sorry man."

Castiel waved him off and then started to walk away. Dean followed with a, "Hey!"

Castiel rounded on him and narrowed his eyes. "If you're thinking that you can get me to come home with you, think again."

Dean put his hands up. "Whoa. No man."

Castiel eyed him and Dean gave him a sheepish smile. He didn't really know what to do now. He would very much like to back to his apartment and have Castiel fuck him into the bed sheets, but it was obvious that this guy was quite different from his porn star alter ego. Hell, if this guy didn't have Dean's cock in his mouth last night, Dean would have easily mistaken him for some normal guy that spent his nights researching rocket science shit.

"I just wanna talk," Dean tried, giving Castiel a genuine smile.

"Well forget about it," Castiel hissed at him, heading for the checkout.

"Oh come on, man," Dean cried after him. He grabbed Castiel by the sleeve and Castiel hesitantly turned to look at him. Dean's mind grappled for something to say and then he grinned broadly and leaned in close to Castiel, noticing the fact that the man smelled like a warm summer breeze. He whispered into his ear.

"I know what happened last night. After you made me come, you came all over that nice red carpet." He could feel Castiel shift uncomfortably and he held on tighter as he continued, "And I also know that you liked it, you liked getting me off and watching me come undone. I was told that you don't do private sessions, so am I the exception?"

His lips were brushing over Castiel's neck now and he could feel the man shudder and let out a small breath. Dean pulled away as people started to stare and he was more than pleased to see the color in Castiel's cheeks and the way that his breathing had increased. He had just said what came first to his mind, what he would have said were they alone and he wanted to get this guy off, as though he were just another common Joe instead of the man who had been the center of his sexual fantasies for the past few days.

Castiel wrung his hands together as he said softly, "I think we should finish this conversation elsewhere."

Dean looked around at the disapproving looks of the other shoppers and said, "Yeah, sure. My car's parked out back."

"Fine," Castiel replied quickly.

Dean grinned and then he said, "I'm Dean by the way. Dean Winchester."

Castiel took Dean's extended hand and shook it once saying, "Novak. Castiel Novak." He let go of Dean's hand and smoothed out his sweater, eyeing the people who had begun to stare at them. He leaned in a bit closer to Dean and whispered, "Can we please go?"

Dean chuckled and then they headed toward the front of the store. They both checked out, in separate lines, although Dean's eyes followed Castiel as he handed the cashier a waded up twenty. Dean waited by the door as Castiel finished purchasing his odd items, which looked like the ingredients for some sort of cake. He held the door open for him and Castiel gave him a glare that just made him smile, cause when this guy wasn't being hot as hell, he was quite endearing.

They slipped into the Impala and Castiel was speaking fast the moment Dean had shut the door, "I'm sorry for last night. I don't know what happened, I normally have more control than that and I just..."

"Don't apologize, man," Dean interrupted, "It was fucking hot."

Castiel looked down at his hands, which were clenched tightly in his lap. "In answer to your other questions," he said, "Yes, I did get off on you last night, and no I don't ever do private sessions. It was just that, well, I remembered you from your brother's bachelor party and don't take this the wrong way, but you're gorgeous."

Dean's eyebrows shot up and Castiel smiled sheepishly before continuing, "When I saw you at Crowley's last night, I figured that if you were back for more, I might as well give it to you, and jerk off myself in the process.." He sighed and cursed. "Dammit. Now it sounds like I'm some sort of fucking pervert."

"No it's fine," Dean said quickly, heart beating a bit faster at the thought that he wasn't the only one who'd been fantasizing since Sam's party.

Castiel played with the hem of his sweater nervously while he added, "Just so you know, I don't ever have thoughts about my clients like that. This job isn't even something I want to do, I'm just doing it to get some extra money because I need it."

"I'm not bitching about what you do," Dean replied, "But I am curious as to why me?"

Castiel blushed again. "You're just really fucking hot and you're the first guy that didn't try to flip me over and fuck me in the ass once you laid eyes upon me."

Dean blinked. "You've had that happen before?"

Castiel nodded. "When I was first staring out. I was stupid and a fucking idiot. It's part of the reason that I don't do private sessions anymore."

"You know you could have filed for rape," Dean informed him.

Castiel rolled his eyes. "I'm a stripper Dean. In Balthazar's words 'It's part of the job. You just gotta rub some Aloe on it and move on.'"

"He sounds like a real dick."

Castiel shrugged. "He's not a bad boss, and he made sure that I only worked groups or bars after that."

"But what I still don't understand," Dean said, "Is how you can go from fucking sexy as hell, to this." He motioned to Castiel's sweater getup.

Castiel cracked a small smile and said, "I don't dress in stockings and dog collars 24/7."

Dean's mouth went dry as a thousand mental images rushed through his head, all of them arousing as fuck. Castiel must have noticed because he smile grew wider as Dean muttered, "You have a dog collar routine?"

"Oh I've got a lot of tricks up my sleeve," Castiel replied, his voice gravelly.

Dean gripped the seat and let out a shaky breath. There was no way he should be getting off just by this guy talking, especially when he was dressed like his eighth grade English teacher, although he doubted his old teacher could pull off the jeans Castiel was dressed in.

The sound of AC/DC suddenly filled the car and Dean fished his phone out of his pocket with a "Shit." He glanced at the number. Sam. "It okay if I get this? It's my brother." Castiel nodded and Dean put the phone up to his ear.

"What's up Sammy?"

"You busy tonight?" Sam asked.

Dean glanced over at Castiel who was watching him with his head slightly tilted. Dean wanted to have plans with Castiel but he knew that was probably out of the question, although maybe they could talk some more, cause he couldn't deny the fact that he was really starting to like this guy.

"Dean?" Sam asked again.

"Uh, yeah I've got plans tonight," Dean replied, noticing Castiel's raised eyebrow out of the corner of his eye.

"Mmkay," Sam said, "Don't forget Friday"

He hung up and Dean slipped his phone back into his pocket and then turned to Castiel. "You got someplace to be tonight?"

Castiel shook his head and he looked down at the bag of food that was at his feet, commenting, "I was just going to cook a little and read."

Dean shook his head. "I swear you've gotta be two different people. How the hell are you even possible?"

Castiel chuckled. "I distance myself while I'm working. My job is to bring pleasure to other people, and that's what I do. I'm sorta normal in real life."

"Aside from still being fucking hot," Dean grinned. He yanked at the edge of Castiel's cardigan. "You make even this look sexy."

Another blush tinted Castiel's pale cheeks and he grinned into his lap. The smile made Dean's stomach do a flip flop and the he was grinning. Fuck. He was falling for this guy. He was falling for the world's strangest stripper.

"You know," Dean whispered, pushing up Castiel's sweater with his fingers slightly and exposing the pale skin underneath, "I've got an oven back at my place that's dying to be used."

Castiel shivered as Dean dragged his thumb across the jut of Castiel's hip. Castiel gripped Dean's wrist tightly and said with a smile, "Are you asking me out on a date, Mr. Winchester?"

Dean grinned. "If that's what you wanna call it, then sure. Although I don't see how going back to my place so you can bake is anything near a decent date."

Castiel rubbed his thumb along the inside of Dean's wrist and replied, "I think you'll find that my baking can easily be a very good date."

Dean shivered as Castiel's voice grew husky on the last word. He tried to keep his voice steady as he said, "I'll hold you to that."

"Oh you won't be disappointed," Castiel growled, his breath beating against cheek.

Dean shuddered and then he was turning ever so slightly and closing the last bit of distance that remained between them. He rammed his lips into Castiel's, pushing the other man back against the door of the car as he practically climbed into his lap.

Castiel's mouth was wet and wonderful and Dean took in every sensation, the feel of Castiel's tongue as it plunged into his mouth, Castiel's fingers fisted in his hair and his legs coming to twine around Dean's waist. He yanked Dean toward him as he moved so that he was lying flat against the seat of the Impala. Dean gasped as Castiel bucked upwards, grinding their hips together. Shit this guy was amazing.

"Where have you been hiding?" Castiel asked in between heated kisses.

"Hmmm?" Dean groaned, moving slightly against Castiel and making the leather of the seat squeak.

Castiel groaned as Dean dragged his teeth along his bottom lip. "God," Castiel breathed, fingers curling into Dean's jacket.

Castiel kissed his way down Dean's neck, sucking at the skin as Dean threw his head back to give Castiel better access. Dean moaned loudly as Castiel ran his tongue over his pulse point and then he grabbed Castiel's head and brought their mouths together again, sucking and nipping at Castiel's lips, turning him inside out and tasting everything.

"Wanna take you home," he growled against Castiel's mouth.

"Yes," Castiel breathed. He whined as Dean latched onto the spot beneath his right ear. "_Dean_. Dean please."

"I could take you right here you know," Dean hissed, "Fuck you so hard that you wouldn't even be able to stand." He grazed his teeth along Castiel's earlobe. "Would you like that?"

Castiel nodded, the motion jerky. Dean grinned. He couldn't believe that this was happening, that he had Castiel pinned under him, nearly begging for him. Dean let his eyes wander over Castiel's face. Damn was this guy beautiful, especially like this, all mussed and panting, lips swollen, wet and slightly open.

Dean drew a finger across Castiel's bottom lip, watching as Castiel's eyes fluttered closed. Dean inhaled sharply as Castiel's tongue darted out to lick at the digit. He sucked Dean's thumb into his mouth and Dean's eyes went wide as Castiel began moving his tongue around, pushing at the bottom of Dean's finger and then biting slightly, scraping with his teeth as he let go with a wet pop.

Dean was definitely hard now and Castiel wasn't helping any, looking up at him with lidded eyes and a look that made Dean's heart jump in his chest. This had to be a dream. There was no fucking way that this was the same guy from last night. That guy had ordered him around, told him not to touch, not to move, and Castiel, well, he was the complete opposite, arching up and trying to get closer as Dean dragged his pointer finger down Castiel's sweater covered stomach.

Castiel raised his hips up slightly and Dean used the opportunity to unbuckle Castiel's belt. He was going to make Castiel come, he was going to repay the stripper for last night and watch as the tables turned.

Dean slid the belt open and then unzipped Castiel's fly. Castiel made a low noise in the back of his throat as Dean slipped his fingers into the waistband of his underwear, running over hot flesh and making Castiel tip his head back slightly. Dean yanked the impossibly tight jeans down Castiel's legs, easing over Castiel's obvious erection.

Castiel hissed as Dean's hands came back up to tease at him. Dean moved his hands up Castiel's body, skimming over his sides and grinning as Castiel's muscles jumped under his touch. Castiel bit his lip as Dean yanked on the buttons of his cardigan and then the Oxford that was underneath it. Dean nearly ripped it open in his haste to taste Castiel and the look on Dean's face made Castiel's cock throb in anticipation.

Dean kissed his way up Castiel's chest, fingers playing absently with one of Castiel's nipples as his mouth worked over the other. Castiel gasped out and ground his hips into Dean's. "_Dean_," he whined.

"What's that?" Dean growled, pulling away from Castiel's skin with a slick noise.

"Want you," Castiel mumbled, gripping the seat tightly as Dean ran a finger over a peaked nipple.

Dean let his nails scrape over Castiel's stomach and then he slipped Castiel's boxers off, Castiel raising his hips again to help. Dean let his eyes drift over Castiel's body. Shit this guy was fucking gorgeous. He trailed his fingers lower, rubbing small circles over Castiel's skin and making Castiel groan loudly.

Dean gripped Castiel's cock tightly and Castiel bucked up from the seat with a cry. Dean started stroking him in long smooth motions and Castiel whimpered. He thrust his hips into the slow fuck of Dean's hand as Dean ran his thumb over the leaking tip of Castiel's dick. Castiel mewled loudly as Dean pumped him a few times.

Dean's eyes watched Castiel's face as a myriad of expressions shifted over it. Castiel was holding out, Dean could tell. He wanted Castiel to come, he wanted him to shudder and cry out his name, he wanted to fuck him until they both couldn't see straight. Dean moved so that he could take Castiel in his mouth, sucking him a few times, running his tongue over the sensitive head of Castiel's cock. Castiel growled, but still didn't come. Dean moved a hand up to tweak one of Castiel's nipples as he began to create a rhythm with his mouth. He could feel Castiel grip his shoulders tightly, and then, finally, Castiel was coming, his release hot in the back of Dean's throat. He swallowed it all down and pulled back.

Castiel was sprawled out, mouth slightly open, his eyes closed. The sight was almost enough to make Dean come himself. He fumbled with his pants and then with a few quick strokes, he was spilling onto the rag that he had grabbed so he wouldn't stain his car.

Castiel's eyes fluttered open and he let out a breathy, "Fuck" as he watched Dean clean himself up.

"Good?" Dean asked, a small smile on his lips.

"I'll say," Castiel breathed.

Dean grinned and then commented, "You've got some fucking skills man. I've never seen anybody hold out that long."

Castiel chucked and replied, "Another perk of my job. You're not allowed to come all over your customers, no matter how fucking gorgeous they are."

He reached up and trailed his thumb down Dean's face, smiling to himself. Dean kissed the inside of his wrist and Castiel hummed happily. He let Dean zip him back up and they shared a couple of languid kisses before sitting up.

"You still up for some baking?" Castiel asked with a cheeky grin.

Dean grinned at him and said, "Hell yeah. You wanna follow me in your car?"

Castiel shook his head. "I walked here. My apartment is just a little ways down the street."

"You wanna just go there?" Dean asked, putting the key into the ignition.

Castiel shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me."

"Well then we're going there," Dean decided, his mind wandering to what sort of things might be hiding in the corners of that apartment, specifically dog collar and stocking things.

Castiel laughed and pointed over his shoulder to a side street. "Just follow that for about three blocks and then park under the fire escape."

Dean did and then they were walking up the stairs that led to Castiel's apartment. Dean tried not to feel too giddy, and he made sure that he was toting at least half of the groceries. He took the rest while Castiel bent over to unlock the door, Dean's eyes on his ass. He must have noticed because he wiggled his hips a bit before turning the key and opening the door.

Dean didn't know what he had expected, but this was definitely just a normal apartment. It was small, but quaint, a little sitting room with a television and a well furnished kitchen that looked as though it got a lot of use. There were two doors at the end of a short hallway and Dean was itching to find out what Castiel's bedroom looked like.

As if he read his mind, Castiel said, "I'll give you a tour later."

Dean grinned and then they unloaded the groceries together, Dean purposely bumping into Castiel every chance he got. Castiel slapped him hard on the ass as he was reaching up to put a jar of spice into a cabinet and Dean nearly fell right into the sink. He turned around quickly to find Castiel already on the other side of the kitchen, kneeling while getting out a bowl. Dean had to hide his stupid smile as Castiel came back over to the sink. He was enjoying this way too much. He was enjoying every moment of this, not just the fact that he'd already had some of the hottest sex ever with this guy, but also the small things. Like standing in Castiel's kitchen and watching while Castiel gathered ingredients for whatever he was making.

"Do you like pie?" Castiel asked, grabbing the bag of flour.

"I fucking love pie," Dean replied, grinning from ear to ear.

Castiel returned the smile and said, "Apple or cherry?"

"Cherry."

"Grab the can from the cupboard. It's the third shelf, far right."

Castiel pointed to the pantry and Dean went over to it. He fished out the can of cherry filling and searched through a couple of the drawers until he found a can opener and then he set the can down by Castiel. Castiel muttered a thanks and went back to his task of putting ingredients into a bowl. Dean inched closer to him until he was right behind him. Slowly he pressed against him, grinding his hips a little into Castiel's firm ass.

"Dean," Castiel warned.

Dean ignored him and put his lips to Castiel's neck, kissing the base of it and then his way up the side of his skin. Castiel angled his neck to give Dean better access and Dean heard a small moan escape the other man's mouth. It urged him on and he ground hard into Castiel's ass. Castiel moved back to meet Dean's hips and Dean was starting to get hard.

"Dean let me finish this," Castiel breathed.

"Promise me you'll let me give you a show later then?" Dean asked, his lips on Castiel's ear.

Castiel nodded and Dean kissed his neck before backing off. He waited while Castiel finished with the pie crust and then both of them spread the filling out, getting it all over their fingers. Dean watched with wide eyes as Castiel licking the cherry filling off his fingers slowly, taking time to slurp loudly.

"Oh come on man," Dean said angrily, "You want me to fuck you against this counter? Cause I will."

Castiel snorted and then covered the pie. He slipped it into the oven and wiped his hands on a dishtowel saying, "It'll take about a half an hour, and I'd rather not do anything till after it's done lest we forget about it and burn down my apartment."

Dean sighed. "Fine."

"I'm going to clean up," Castiel announced, "You can see if there's anything on tv."

Dean let out another overdramatic sigh before trumping over to the couch that sat in front of the television. He flipped the tv on and slumped down on the couch cushions. To his surprise Dr. Sexy was on again. He nestled into the cushions and waited for Castiel to finish cleaning. The episode was a repeat, but it was a good one.

"What show is this?" Castiel asked as he came over.

"Dr. Sexy M.D.," Dean answered. Castiel raised an eyebrow and Dean said quickly, "It's a guilty pleasure. Now get your ass down here."

He yanked on Castiel's sleeve and Castiel sank onto the couch next to him. Dean shifted so that they were pressed hip to hip and he grinned like a idiot when Castiel leaned into him. They made it about ten minutes into the episode before Dean found the back of Castiel's neck to be just too distracting. By the time the timer beeped Castiel's belt was off again and Dean's mouth was latched to his neck.

They parted so that Castiel could scurry over to take the pie out. He turned off the oven and then Dean was on him again, crashing their mouths together and grinding into Castiel with a, "Need you now."

"Yes," Castiel moaned against his mouth.

He maneuvered them so that they were gradually heading in the direction of Castiel's bedroom. Dean growled against Castiel's mouth as he pinned him against the wall. Part of him wanted to do it this way, for him to be the one to go down on Castiel, but another part wanted it to be the way it had been the past couple of times, for Castiel to be that fucking sex god and to fuck Dean so good.

"How do you wanna..." Dean asked between kisses and yanking off of clothing.

"I want you," Castiel gasped out against Dean's mouth, "I want you to fuck me. Fuck me so good that I'll forget about everything but you."

"That what you want, baby?" Dean groaned, jerking his hips against Castiel's.

"Yes," Castiel whined, "Yes. Please Dean."

Dean growled and then they stumbled into Castiel's room. Dean took one quick glance around. No handcuffs or dog collars in sight, just a large bed and a nightstand piled high with books, plus a small door that most likely led to a tiny bathroom. He turned his eyes back onto Castiel, who was slowly stripping off his pants. Dean pulled his own down and then surged forward to crash his lips against Castiel's again. They both fell down onto the bed and Castiel groaned loudly as Dean moved his lips over his body.

"Turn over," Dean ordered.

Castiel obeyed, flipping over and sprawling out on the bed sheets. Dean moved up his body slowly, taking time to trace his tongue over the design of the feathers on his back. Castiel groaned loudly as Dean's tongue slid down the shaft of the largest primary feather, the tip of which ended somewhere below Castiel's boxers. Dean soon saw to the task of sliding said boxers off so that he could suck a few hickeys into Castiel's ass, over the tip of the end of the right wing.

Castiel moaned loudly as Dean traced his tongue back up the shaft of the feather and then he ground his ass into Dean's still clothed erection. Dean growled against Castiel's shoulder and he shimmied his own boxers off, throwing them somewhere behind him while keeping his attention focused on sucking a dark bruise to the side of Castiel's neck.

"Wanna mark you," Dean groaned against Castiel's skin, "I want everyone to see that you're mine."

"Yes," Castiel whined, "Yes, Dean."

He groaned loudly and arched up against Dean again so that Dean's dick dragged between Castiel's cheeks slightly. Dean bit his lip and then Castiel was flipping over so that he could look at Dean through dark eyes. Dean felt his heart skip a beat because Castiel was just so fucking gorgeous and he was laid out for him, breathing like he was drowning because of him. The thought made something hot curl in Dean's chest and he leaned down to run his lips over Castiel's stubble lined jaw, sucking at a point under Castiel's left ear and making Castiel arch up into him.

Castiel shifted and Dean could make out the sound of a door rattling somewhere to his left and then Castiel was pushing Dean off him roughly. Dean sat back as he realized why and he watched with wide eyes as Castiel squirted a generous helping of lube into his hands from the bottle he had just retrieved. Dean forgot how to breathe for a second as Castiel's slick fingers moved downward and he slipped one inside his hole, swirling it around and biting his bottom lip.

Dean lost it when Castiel put a second finger inside himself. He surged forward, growling. Castiel looked up at him with wide eyes for a moment before they fluttered closed as Dean slipped one of his fingers in next to Castiel's. Castiel threw his head back with a groan as Dean began twirling his pointer finger around, sliding it between Castiel's own fingers and then rubbing along the muscles surrounding their digits.

"Lube," Dean growled.

Castiel pressed the bottle into his hand with shaking fingers and Dean quickly slicked up his own fingers before pulling Castiel's away and replacing them with three of his own. He began scissoring and stretching, adding a fourth finger and making Castiel cry out.

"Shhh," Dean said, pressing a kiss to the inside of Castiel's left thigh.

Castiel mumbled something and flicked his hips slightly, so that Dean's fingers slid further in. He hit Castiel's prostate on the third try and Castiel nearly screamed out, "_Shit_. Now, Dean, now!"

Dean pulled his fingers out and put them on his own dick, slicking it from base to tip in one smooth motion, eyes fixed on the way Castiel opened for him as he slid into him. It was all heat and pressure and fuck if it wasn't the most wonderful thing Dean had ever felt. Castiel made a strangled noise.

Dean's hips stilled and he asked, "You okay?'

Castiel nodded vigorously and hissed, "Fucking _move_ already!"

Dean did, snapping his hips against Castiel until he bottomed out with a loud groan which was matched by a moan from Castiel. Castiel moved a bit, thrusting up and yanking Dean's hips against himself as he sunk his teeth into Dean's shoulder hard enough to make Dean hiss. Dean ground into Castiel particularly hard and Castiel yelped loudly.

"Oh God, Dean! Right there!"

He threw his head back and fucked himself onto Dean's cock as Dean rocked forward. They created a sort of unsteady rhythm that involved Castiel meeting Dean thrust for thrust as he babbled nonsense. Dean found Castiel's mouth and coaxed his tongue out as he slid out and in again. Castiel took the hint and ran his tongue over Dean's teeth and gums before sucking on Dean's tongue noisily while jerking upward so that Dean was buried almost up to his balls in Castiel. Dean could feel that coil in his gut, that heat. He wanted to make Castiel come before him though, wanted to watch as the strangest stripper in the world rode his dick while screaming his name.

Dean dragged his teeth along Castiel's chest and over a puckered nipple, saying huskily, "Wanna see you come, wanna see you fall apart. Come on, baby. Come."

Castiel made a sound like a dying whale and he twitched a bit, but his dick remained hard, although Dean could feel the wetness of precome against his stomach. He grunted and moved to grip Castiel tightly. He dragged a finger up the side of Castiel's cock, toying with the leaking tip and making Castiel gasp out.

"Let it go," Dean growled against his skin, "Come for me, I know you want to."

Castiel moaned something that sounded like "Jesus Fuck" and Dean cradled his balls in his hand, yanking slightly and rubbing at the skin behind them right over where they were joined. Castiel gargled loudly and then Dean's chest was splattered with stripes of cum. It became gloriously tight as Castiel's muscles clenched up and Dean panted into his shoulder before coming himself, spilling into the warmth and pressure of Castiel's body.

Castiel went limp in Dean's arms and Dean slipped out of him slowly before letting himself fall on Castiel's firm body. Castiel wound his arms up around Dean and carded his fingers through Dean's sweat slicked hair. He tilted Dean's face up slightly so that he could pepper kisses over Dean's nose and jaw and finally his mouth.

"So good," Castiel whispered against Dean's lips, "You're so fucking amazing."

Dean chuckled and pulled Castiel's hand up from the bed so that he could press a chaste kiss to the back of his knuckles. He had to stop himself from speaking because he was quite positive that if he opened his mouth the L-word would slip out and there was no way he was letting that happen, even if he did feel like a balloon had inflated in his chest when Castiel smiled up at him from the damp bed sheets.

"Stop smiling like that," Dean ordered with a smile, "Unless you want me to fuck you again right now."

Castiel chuckled and wiggled his hips against Dean's slightly. A concerned expression flitted over his face and he put his hands on the small of Dean's back as he asked, "This wasn't a one night thing, was it?"

"You want it to be?" Dean said, the sadness evident in his voice. Castiel shook his head and Dean grinned. He kissed Castiel softly before saying, "So when should we pick out curtains."

Castiel slapped him on the ass. "Don't be a dick about it. Although I do think phone numbers would be a good place to start."

"Sure," Dean muttered. He rolled off Castiel and nuzzled his face into the crook of Castiel's neck, saying, "But that can wait cause I'm fucking exhausted."

Castiel trailed his fingers down Dean's arm and rested his hand on his hip. Dean marveled at how natural it felt as Castiel said, "Next time we'll see how you feel after I fuck you so hard you won't be able to shit for a week without constantly being reminded of my dick in your pretty little ass."

Dean's cock gave an involuntary twitch at the mental images Castiel's words produced and he groaned into Castiel's shoulder. He could feel Castiel smile against the top of his head and then Castiel was getting up, taking his warmth with him. Dean pouted at him and Castiel said, "One second."

He went over to the small door and slipped inside the room on the other side, coming out with a wet towel a few moments later. He sat back down on the bed and leaned over Dean, mopping up the drying cum on Dean's stomach. Dean chuckled as the towel tickled his sensitive skin and then he went quiet as Castiel's lips followed the starchy towel. He kissed under Dean's navel and then above it, moving up to Dean's chest and mouthing over one of Dean's nipples which hardened quickly under Castiel's careful attentions.

"Are you sure you don't want to see if I can tire you out some more?" Castiel growled, his fingers trailing down Dean's stomach.

Dean grabbed his wrist before he could get any lower. He pulled Castiel's head up from his chest so that he could kiss him softly before saying, "As much as I'd like to, I actually really am beat."

Castiel's breath flitted across his face as he let out a small laugh. He kissed Dean's bottom lip reverently and then snuggled into his side, musing, "Get the light would you?"

Dean stretched his arm out and flipped the button for the light on the bedside table. The room was plunged into a semi darkness that was only broken by the thin strip of fading sunlight that Dean could see coming in from the window.

Castiel nuzzled closer to him and Dean absently placed a kiss atop his dark hair, cuddling wasn't really his thing, but it damn did it feel right, for his arms to be around Castiel and for Castiel to nudge a leg between Dean's and pull him closer. Dean felt that balloon-like feeling again as Castiel sighed happily and he worried his lip. He knew himself well enough to know what that feeling meant, and he didn't know if he wanted to be feeling it.

Castiel's soft voice drew his thoughts away from the warmth that was filling his chest. "I've never really been in a relationship before," he said quietly, "So don't get angry if I fuck things up." Dean chuckled and kissed Castiel's temple. Castiel pressed closer to him and said, "I had a boyfriend for a bit back in high school, but it only lasted about a week and then he dumped me for the head cheerleader because he was afraid of what his parents would say if they found out he was dating another boy."

"Well then he didn't deserve you," Dean said, rubbing Castiel's arm and purposely ignoring the hot spike of possession that had planted itself in his chest.

Castiel smiled and leaned his head up to look at Dean, his chin resting on Dean's chest. "What about you? Anybody waiting for you back home?" He grinned wolfishly. "Have I got competition?"

Dean shook his head. "Just me. I had a girlfriend a while back, but she was a bitch."

Castiel hmmed against Dean's skin and asked, "Do you prefer women?"

"You think I'd still be here if I did? I mean really, Cas, I just had the best sex of my entire life." Castiel let out a small laugh and Dean said, "What?"

"Already given me a nickname?" Castiel asked cheekily, grinning at Dean.

Dean blushed as he realized that he'd called Castiel "Cas". Castiel's smiled grew wider and he inched upward so that he could kiss Dean softly, muttering, "I usually only let me family call me Cas, but I think I can make an exception for you."

That balloon was back again and Dean knew he must be shooting rainbows out of his eyes. He hoped that he didn't look too stupid as he grinned like a fucking teenager with a crush. Castiel must not have noticed because he kissed the smile of Dean's face, slipping his tongue out to brush against the seam of Dean's lips and making Dean sigh happily. He hugged Castiel closer to him and tried to get lost in Castiel's warm mouth and strong arms, anything to keep him from the knowledge that he was falling in love with Cas.

* * *

Dean woke to an empty bed the next morning and for a moment he thought that maybe it really was a one night stand, that his clothes will be neatly folded by the door with a note saying that it was fun and that Cas hoped he has a good life. It was obvious he was wrong as Castiel stumbled out of the bathroom, dressed in just jeans and half shaved, talking heatedly on the phone with someone that Dean could only assume was Balthazar.

"Well I don't give a fuck that you need an extra performer," Castiel yelled into the phone, "I'm covered in hickeys and the most gorgeous man on the face of the planet happens to be snoozing in my bed right now... No I won't give you his number, you dick."

Castiel went quiet for a moment and Dean quickly shut his eyes as Castiel glanced over at him. He took a few slow breathes and then cracked open an eye when Castiel began speaking again. "My neck and ass mostly... panties? I guess, but you'd have to get a collar to go with them... leggings? Really?" Castiel groaned loudly and Dean heard him rummaging through a drawer. He nearly had a heart attack when Castiel pulled out black fishnet tights and what looked like a diamond encrusted dog collar, complete with a leash.

Castiel shouldered the phone as he said, "I've got the collar and the tights and, shit, hold on a sec." Another drawer opened and Castiel fished out a pair of lacey black undies and Dean was definitely starting to get hard as Cas rasped into the phone, "I can do that routine, but I better be getting double for it."

He hung up the phone like he had a personal vendetta against it and Dean could hear him sigh loudly. He sat up and mimed just waking, even doing that stupid stretch that everyone in commercials do after they've slept like a baby with ZzzQuil or whatever.

Castiel looked over at him and attempted to hide the panties behind his back as he said, "I regret to inform you that I've been called into work today."

"Yeah, so?" Dean said, sliding out of the bed and walking over to stand in front of Castiel.

He slid his hands down Castiel's shoulders and hooked his fingers into the belt loops of Castiel's jeans, pulling him flush against him. He was still very much naked and the rough fabric of Cas's jeans dragged against his dick slightly, making a friction that hardened it further. He mouthed at one of the fading bruises on Castiel's collar bone and Cas pulled back.

He gave Dean a quick kiss on the lips and said, "I'd love to, really, but Balthazar will have my ass if I don't show."

Dean sighed dramatically and then grinned mischievously. He wound an arm around Castiel's back and yanked the panties from his grip with a, "I'll let you leave as long as tonight, you give me a private showing of whatever routine involves these."

Castiel's pale cheeks reddened a bit, but he gave Dean a dangerous smile and raked his nails down Dean's side as he said, "It would be my pleasure, Mr. Winchester."

Dean shivered because fuck was Cas hot with that gravelly voice and those lidded eyes and that little evil smile that sent shivers down Dean's spine. He was definitely hard now and he keened into Castiel's soft touches and groaned loudly when Castiel dug his nails into his hips. Soon he was shamelessly rutting against the denim covering Castiel's leg.

Castiel peppered kisses down Dean's shoulder and stroked Dean loosely until Dean was practically begging. Cas dragged his thumb over the tip of Dean's cock and Dean's hips jerked forward. He fucked himself into Castiel's fist and Castiel applied just the right amount of pressure to have Dean seeing white and ejaculating into the rag that had seemingly just appeared in Cas's hand.

"Jesus, Cas," Dean breathed, leaning heavily against the solid line that was Castiel's body.

Castiel chuckled and kissed Dean's shoulder again before stepping away with a, "I'll be back around seven. You're welcome to stay here if you want, or if you'd rather I just go to your apartment once I finish."

Dean sat down on the bed with a shrug. "Whatever. I'm off work today, so I'm good." He stretched lazily and leaned back on the sheets. "You sure it's cool if I just crash here?"

"As long as you don't eat the entire pie we baked last night," Castiel said with a grin.

"I'll save you a crumb."

Castiel snorted and pulled a t-shirt over his head. Dean watched him stuff the collar, panties and leggings into a duffle bag and hoist it over his shoulder. He gave Dean a quick kiss and mumbled, "See you tonight."

"You better," Dean growled. He slapped Castiel's ass and gave him a seductive wink as Cas left the room.

The day could not have been more boring. There was nothing at all on tv and the only books Castiel owned were classic shit like Charles Dickens. Dean was almost happy when Sammy called him around one.

"Hey, Sammy. What's up?" Dean asked, shouldering the phone as he rooted through Castiel's record collection, because of course Cas would have a record player.

"Did you invite Ruby to my wedding?" Sam said, his tone accusatory.

"No. I remember what that bitch did to you, you think I'd invite her to see you get hitched."

"Well she found out about the wedding somehow and she cornered Jess in a department store the other day."

"Don't tell me she told Jess shit about you," Dean groaned, sitting back against Castiel's couch.

"I don't know what she said, Jess told me she was too busy tending to the nosebleed that Jess gave her."

Dean chuckled. "Oh that girl is definitely a keeper."

Sam was silent for a few minutes and then he asked, "Where are you Dean?"

Dean looked around Castiel's apartment guiltily as though Sam were standing over him giving him his best bitchface. "I'm just at home," Dean lied.

"Really."

"Uh, yes. Why are you so interested in where I am anyway?"

"Cause I swung by your place earlier today to look for my shoe and you left the television on and all the lights."

"Shit," Dean muttered.

"Who's the lucky girl?" Sam asked and Dean pursed his lips.

He should probably just tell Sam that he was fucking the stripper at his bachelor party, it was his brother after all, and Sam would find out sooner or later if Castiel wanted something more permanent than a one night stand.

He cleared his throat and said slowly, "Remember that guy from your bachelor party..."

Sam interrupted him before he could continue, "Oh my God Dean! You're fucking the stripper! The damn stripper Dean! Are you at a bar right now? God don't tell me you found out what joints he works and went there to get off."

"Calm down, Sammy. I'm actually at his house, and his name is Castiel and he's actually the best guy I've ever met, like he's awesome."

Sam groaned. "My brother's falling in love with a prostitute."

"He's not a prostitute, just a stripper, and I can do whatever the hell I want, so if I want to fall in love with Cas, then I will."

Sam sighed. "Just be careful, Dean, and if you bring... Castiel, to dinner with you on Friday make sure he's wearing a suit and not some weird ass outfit."

"Actually he's gonna be wearing tights and a dog collar," Dean replied.

"Oh God."

Sam made a choking noise and Dean said, "I'm kidding man. If I bring Cas I'll make sure he looks respectable."

"Again, just be careful," Sam told him, taking on that daddy tone that Dean hated.

"I'm a big boy, Sammy. I can handle myself. Now go pick out a dress for your wedding."

"You're a dick."

"I love you too."

Dean hung up and chucked the phone onto the couch cushion. He sighed loudly and stretched out. That wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, aside from the fact that he basically admitted to the fact that he was starting to fall in love with Castiel, which was a thought that both terrified him and made that warmth spread through his chest again along with that fucking balloon feeling.

He groaned and scrubbed at his face with his hands. This was not how he'd planned things. He hadn't actually entertained the thought of anything more than casual sex with Castiel, but he couldn't deny the fact that he'd had a particularly awesome dream last night where he and Cas were married or some shit like that and he got to wake up to those amazing eyes every morning.

He shook his head and got up. He could think about those things later, what he should be focusing on, was the fact that in less than six hours, Cas was going to come back and Dean had a feeling that he needed to find Castiel's lube and put it somewhere in reach.

The rest of the time passed so agonizingly slowly that Dean had to start watching the Discovery channel in order to keep from calling up Cas and ordering him to get his ass back here because he was feeling so damn horny and the quick wank he'd had in the bathroom hadn't helped. He was in the middle of a documentary on the courting routine of elephants when the lock on the door clicked.

Dean shut the tv off and sat there in the silence, biting his lip as he waited. Finally the door swung open with a slight creak and he heard Castiel throw his keys on the table before shutting it. He strained his neck to look at him and was almost disappointed to see that Cas was wearing his trench coat and not the getup that Dean had been fantasizing about for the entire day.

Castiel smiled at him and walked slowly over to where Dean was sprawled out on the couch. He kissed the tip of Dean's nose affectionately and whispered, "Miss me?"

Dean nodded and Castiel's smile grew wider. Dean's eyes followed him as he came to stand in front of the couch. His coat was pulled tight around him and it took Dean a moment to realize that he could see the dog collar around Castiel's neck. He licked his lips and raised his eyes to meet Cas's, which held that dangerous spark that Dean had seen when Cas had been performing as Emmanuel.

Castiel moved his hands to the cinch of the coat and he tugged it loose slightly while saying in a voice that sent chills up Dean's spine, "I believe I promised you a show."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for the reviews and favs guys! More kinky sex in this chapter and a lot more to come. There's also a bit of plot, and I'm looking to (hopefully) update this fic regularly on Sundays.**

* * *

"Yeah?" Dean replied, his voice husky.

Castiel smirked and then pulled the coat open, shrugging it off his shoulders slowly. Dean's eyes went wide and _Jesus fuck_, Cas was gorgeous. Dean's eyes traveled from the diamond dog collar around his neck to the fishnets that came to his knees. Straps attached them to the thin, lacy underwear that completed the look and Dean had never gotten a boner so fast.

"Like what you see?" Castiel asked in that fucking sexy voice of his.

Dean nodded stupidly and then made an inhuman gargling noise as Castiel produced a leather leash from somewhere. He attached it to the collar and then gripped the leash in his hands. He pulled it taught between them and Dean's breath hitched.

Castiel let his eyes travel over Dean, lingering slightly on his obvious erection, which tented his jeans. Cas turned around and Dean's eyes swept over the curve of his ass, which was accentuated through the thin lace of the undies. He was heading in the direction of the bedroom and Dean was up faster than Castiel could crook a finger at him to follow.

His shirt and jeans were off before he even got through the door. Castiel cracked a small smile as Dean fumbled with pulling down his boxers. "Eager are we?" he asked and that was definitely Emmanuel speaking.

There was nothing Cas about Castiel right now. He was in work mode or something and Dean loved it, loved the way that Castiel grinned at him and flexed his muscles slightly while tapping the belt against his thigh. Damn was he hot.

Castiel snapped the leather of the leash again and then pointed to the bed. "We're going to do things a little differently," he said, voice level, "Lie down on your stomach and do not move unless I tell you to."

Dean obeyed, trying not to seem too eager. This is what he'd been waiting for, for Cas to take control like he had back at the bachelor party and Crowley's. Dean wanted Cas to fuck him so hard into the bed so that he wouldn't be able to walk.

He sucked in a sharp breath as he felt Castiel's hands skim over his legs and then up to his ass. Castiel pulled down his boxers and Dean lifted his hips to help get them off, but stopped when Castiel slapped him hard across the ass.

Castiel's rough voice came from somewhere above him, "Stay still, remember?"

"Yes," Dean choked out, his ass stinging from the force of Castiel's blow and fuck did it feel so strangely good and arousing as hell.

He felt Castiel walk his fingers up Dean's back and then back down, almost as though he were deciding what he wanted to do. The second slap came soon after and Dean cried out. "Shhh," Castiel hissed, kneading the angry red flesh of Dean's buttocks with his palms.

Dean had to stop himself from arching up into the touch and he gasped out when Castiel's hands slid over the stinging flesh and then down to the V of his hips. Castiel pressed up slightly, raising Dean's hips from the bed so that Dean had his ass in the air, venerable and waiting for whatever else Castiel had planned for him. The possibilities made his dick throb from where it hung between his legs. He was never one for spanking or that sort of thing, but with Cas, hell he wanted it all, even if it meant that he was going to be sore for days afterword.

Dean hissed as Castiel's fingers stroked over his sore flesh. He was such a fucking baby and Castiel hadn't even properly started yet. He grit his teeth and gripped the sheets tightly as Castiel slapped him again and again, the sound echoing through the room.

"You're doing well," Castiel rasped, his breath warm on the back of Dean's neck.

Dean whimpered as Castiel teased him, fingers sliding once down his throbbing cock before pulling away. The unmistakable feel of leather sliding down his back made Dean inhale sharply. Castiel dragged the end of the leash over Dean's shoulders and down his spine, making small circles on his skin as he reached his ass. When the first slap of the leash across his cheeks came Dean didn't make sound. He just grabbed the bed sheets and bit down hard on his bottom lip, ignoring the tang of blood on his tongue.

"Good," Castiel told him, dragging the leash over the red flesh.

He cupped Dean's left cheek in his hand and ran a finger down the other, slipping it under Dean's thigh and then further up until he was cradling Dean's balls in his hand. Dean groaned and jerked forward slightly. The movement brought him another hard slap from the leash and he stilled, trying to ignore the fact that there was wetness stinging at his eyes.

Castiel's hand retreated from his balls and Dean felt the friction of the fishnets dragging against his ass as Castiel got up to go retrieve something. He came back shortly and pressed a warm palm to the small of Dean's back, pushing him down onto the bed and making him hiss uncomfortably as his cock was trapped between his stomach and the bed sheets.

Castiel left him like that for a few moments and then he said, "Turn over."

Dean did and he looked up at Cas through the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. His ass throbbed painfully as he lowered it onto the sheet so that he was splayed before Castiel. Castiel was still holding the leash, but he had detached it from the collar so that he held it like a whip in his hand. Dean tried not to flinch as Castiel let the end of the leash drag down his body, over his trembling stomach and down the inside of one thigh. He sobbed, actually fucking sobbed as Castiel slapped the leash over his thigh, the sound of leather hitting skin louder than Dean's pathetic cry.

Castiel's hands were way to gentle as he smoothed them over Dean's thighs. He spread Dean open and Dean felt the wetness of Castiel's mouth over the welt that was beginning to form on his thigh. He stayed still though, even as Castiel moved his lips closer to Dean's twitching cock. A small gasp worked its way from his throat as Castiel ran his tongue down Dean's dick. He licked up the precome that was seeping from it and it took all of Dean's effort not to arch up into Castiel's touch.

"I want you to touch yourself," Castiel growled, leaning back and standing up straight.

Dean blinked uncertainly, but inched a hand down toward his dick, stroking languidly while he watched Castiel reach down and come back up with the bottle of lube. Castiel's sharp eyes watched the movement of Dean's hand hungrily and Dean could see Castiel's arousal through the thin panites which barely contained him because Dean would be lying through his teeth if he said that Castiel wasn't well endowed. Hell, he had a fucking huge dick and Dean knew that if Castiel intended to fuck him here and now he probably wouldn't be able to move tomorrow.

Castiel grabbed Dean's wrist and drew his hand away. Dean let it fall to his side and then watched as Castiel coated his fingers in the lube. He knelt down and pushed Dean's legs further apart, kissing the inside of his right thigh in a gesture that was much to affectionate after the small beating that Dean had just endured.

"I want to hear you," Castiel whispered, "I want you to cry out for me."

Dean nodded and then moaned loudly as Castiel pushed a finger in him. He swirled it around a few times and Dean pushed his hips from the bed. Castiel held him down with his other hand and for a moment Dean thought that he was going to get another slap, but Castiel just added a second finger, making Dean hiss and tremble under Castiel's carful administrations.

Castiel began scissoring fingers, drawing a chorus of needy noises from Dean's mouth. Dean could hear Castiel saying things like "That's it. Let me hear you." but he wasn't thinking straight. The last time he'd had anyone do this to him was himself that one night when he needed to get off more than the usual wank.

Castiel had three fingers in him now and Dean jerked and cried out with each movement. When Castiel's pointer finger brushed over his prostate he nearly screamed. If Castiel's firm hand hadn't been on his chest he would have jackknifed right off the bed and probably crashed through the ceiling. He nearly did when he felt the wetness of Castiel's tongue join his fingers.

"God, Cas," Dean breathed, his hands scrambling on the sheets, trying not to touch Cas lest he decide to stop.

Castiel moved the hand on Dean's chest so that he could tweak at Dean's nipples. Dean gargled and this time he really did jerk off the bed as Castiel swiped his tongue over the rings of muscles in time with the motions of his fingers on Dean's nipple.

"Cas please," Dean whined, throwing caution to the wind and pushing against Castiel's shoulders so that he could ground himself slightly.

Castiel pulled his tongue out of Dean's hole, but left his fingers in, stretching Dean some more as he asked, "What was that?"

"Please," Dean pleaded, rocking himself into Castiel's fingers.

Castiel slipped his fingers out and Dean nearly cried at the loss, but then Castiel was yanking down the black panties and angling his slicked cock over Dean's hole. Dean braced himself against Castiel's shoulders again as Castiel slid into him. He cried out and threw his head back as Castiel filled him to the brim. The noises he was making were pathetic at best, all babbling and low whines with the occasional mewl.

Castiel pushed in as far as he could before Dean yelled loudly. He stilled and Dean saw him looking down at him with concern in his eyes that was Cas and not Emmanuel. Dean just shook his head and gasped out, "I'm good. Keep going."

He groaned loudly as Castiel moved again, slipping further into him until he bottomed out with a breathy moan. Castiel finally kissed Dean, just a quick press of lips, but the heat that it started in Dean's chest made him groan again. He gasped when Castiel pulled back and then thrust into him again, hitting his prostate.

Castiel was the one babbling now, murmuring against Dean's shoulder. "So gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous."

He kissed Dean again, harder this time, slipping his tongue into Dean's mouth and sucking on his lips. Dean leaned up to meet Castiel's kisses and Castiel trembled above him, clutching his thighs and most likely leaving bruises. Castiel jerked his hips into Dean again and the bed creaked when Castiel pushed against the edge of it. Dean could tell that Castiel was close and he moved his lips down to his neck, sucking at the tendons and muscle when Castiel leaned his head back to give Dean better access.

Castiel's hips stilled and then Dean heard him grunt once before he felt his release, warm and wet, coating his insides. Castiel slumped forward slightly and Dean kissed his forehead before moving his hand down to jack his own dick a few times. Castiel remained still, his nose resting in the crook of Dean's neck, his cock limp but still inside Dean. When he finally pulled out he let his fingers join Dean's until Dean was coming.

Dean cried out and Castiel stroked him through his orgasm, still muttering about how amazing and beautiful Dean was. When the fire finally died down in Dean's body he found himself being moved up the bed so that he was fully on it. Castiel was next to him, and Dean watched through unfocused eyes as Castiel unbuckled the dog collar and stripped off the tights, throwing both over his shoulder before he laid down next to Dean.

He kissed Dean's shoulder reverently and said, "You're amazing, just amazing."

Dean hummed happily and leaned into Castiel's side as Cas began stroking his fingers through Dean's hair lazily. Pretty soon Dean's eyes were drooping and he fell asleep in the tight embrace of Castiel, that warmth in his chest filling him and making him smile.

* * *

Dean woke the next morning to Castiel's stomach, which he'd apparently been using as a pillow. He kissed the spot above Castiel's belly button and Dean felt Castiel's hand in his hair, stroking it back from his forehead.

"Sleep well?" Castiel asked.

"Mhmm," Dean mumbled.

He titled his head up to see that Castiel had a book in one hand and the biggest fucking smile on his face. Dean glanced at the cover of the book and snorted when he saw that it was it was a Jane Austin book.

"Dude you are so gay," Dean murmured against Castiel's skin.

Castiel snorted and then he was squirming his way down so that he could be face to face with Dean. He kissed him soundly and Dean sighed happily into his mouth. He still had no idea how Cas could be the same guy that had just fucked him so hard last night that there was a point where he couldn't see straight. Castiel pulled back from him with a content humming noise and Dean nearly blurted out the damned L word when Cas gave him the most affectionate smile he'd ever seen.

Dean gulped and asked, "What time is it?"

Castiel checked his phone and said, "Almost nine. Do you have to work?"

Dean nodded. "Not till three though."

Castiel made a hmm noise and then asked, "Would you like some breakfast? I could make pancakes."

Dean's smile was hidden by the sheets that he was snuggled in and fuck it all, he was definitely falling in love with Cas. He cleared his throat and said softly, "If you make it, I'll eat it."

Castiel placed a kiss to the top of Dean's head and Dean's heart did a little flip flop in his chest. He moved so that Castiel could slip out of the bed. Cas went over to one of the drawers of a nearby dresser and pulled out a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. He slipped them on and then turned back to face Dean.

"Orange juice okay?" he asked. Dean nodded and Castiel gave him one more soft kiss before leaving the room.

Dean lay there for some time after Cas left. He could hear him bustling about the kitchen, humming what sounded like Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." The thought of Cas mulling about the kitchen, singing and spooning pancake batter onto a grill made that balloon come back, and this time Dean swore it popped, making hot air flow into his joints and his chest. He was warm all over and it was the most pleasant feeling ever, but he knew that it was fucking crazy, he shouldn't be falling in love.

He sighed and sat up, instantly regretting it as a dull pain shot through his ass. Fucking hell he'd really taken a beating last night. He gingerly scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up, looking back to examine the dark bruises across his buttocks. He tentatively brushed his fingers over the red welt on his inner thigh, instantly regretting it. Gritting his teeth, he pulled on the softest pair of pants he could find in Castiel's drawers. They were red with white polka dots and looked absolutely ridiculous, but they didn't agitate his ass as much as the other choices.

He limped out of the room and down the hall. Castiel was waiting for the pancakes to cook and Dean had to smile because he looked absolutely adorable with his ruffled hair and baggy pj bottoms. He turned and Dean let his eyes travel over the wing tattoo. Dean had never really had the chance to appreciate just how intricate and gorgeous it was.

He tiptoed up behind Cas and wound his arms around his waist as Castiel watched the griddle. Cas interlocked his fingers with Dean's so that their hands rested on Castiel's stomach. Dean kissed the edge of a dark feather near Castiel's right shoulder.

"Who did them?" he murmured against the inked stained skin.

"My brother, Gabriel," Castiel replied.

"Guy's got skill."

Dean kissed his way down the alula feather of the left wing and Cas leaned back into the touch. His hands trailed down Dean's arms and came to rest on his hips. Castiel flipped around and rammed his lips into Dean's. He coaxed Dean's tongue out and sucked on it, making Dean moan and shift closer. Cas's fingers skirted along the elastic waistband of the pants and then he slipped them inside, running the pads over the heated skin.

Dean hissed when Castiel began palming his ass and Cas pulled back with a concerned look on his face. Dean waved him off saying, "Sorry, 'm just a baby and I'm still sore from last night."

Castiel's eyes softened and he pressed a kiss to the corner of Dean's mouth whispering, "You were brilliant last night. Absolutely fucking brilliant."

Dean chuckled and leaned into Castiel's arms. They swayed together for a bit and then Castiel said, "Shit. The cakes are burning."

He released Dean and grabbed a nearby spatula. Dean leaned against the counter as Cas flipped the pancakes and pulled out a couple of plates which he set on the counter. He pointed to the fridge. "The juice is in there and glasses are the second cabinet on the right."

Dean pulled out the orange juice and rooted around in the cabinet. He found two plastic cups, both of which were covered in Looney Tunes characters. "Seriously, dude?" he said.

Cas looked over at the cups. "Oh those are Gabe's. I think he left them here a couple of months ago."

"Well you're getting Marvin the Martian cause I want Taz," Dean said with a smile.

Cas snorted and gave Dean a grin as Dean went to set the small table that was off to the side in the kitchen. Castiel placed a plate of steaming pancakes in the middle of the table shortly afterwards and then syrup. Dean sat down gingerly in the chair across from Cas, trying not to wince as his ass protested.

Castiel gave him a small smile and leaned forward to kiss him softly and for the briefest of seconds it looked like Cas was going to say that word, the one that had been tugging at Dean's lips since yesterday, but then Castiel just shook his head and tucked into his pancakes, lathering them with syrup and shoving a forkful into his mouth.

Dean pushed his pancakes around for a bit and just watched Castiel eat. Cas was very messy and Dean chuckled when a tendril of syrup dripped down on his chin. He reached out and swiped the sticky syrup off with his finger, sucking it off while staring pointedly at Castiel. Castiel's eyes widened a bit and he shifted in his seat. Dean chuckled and stabbed a cake with his fork.

They ate in silence for some time and then Castiel asked, "So what do you do?"

"I'm a mechanic," Dean said around a mouthful of pancake.

"That's nice. Better than what I do."

"Hey I wouldn't have met you if it weren't for your job," Dean told Cas, "And besides, being a stripper's nothing to be ashamed about. You make good money and you can get your freak on whenever you want. I mean your job hits all the kinks."

Castiel blushed and nudged at his pancakes with his fork. "It's just embarrassing sometimes when people ask what I do. I always tell them I'm an entertainer, but when the ask what kind what am I supposed to say? 'Hi I'm Castiel Novak and I gyrate onstage in women's underwear'."

"Just tell them it's none of their damn business what you do," Dean said.

Castiel sighed and put his chin in his hand, looking at his plate. He was silent for a bit and then he said softly, "I wanted to be a literature teacher, but I couldn't afford college for myself."

"What do mean for yourself?" Dean asked, sitting back.

"I used the money I had saved up for my education on my sister. Anna is training to become a nurse and we're not exactly on good terms with our parents, so I gave what I had and I've been sending half the money I make at Heaven and Hell to her as well."

"Damn man. You're like the best brother ever."

Castiel shook his head and sighed. "I just wish there was more I could do for her. She's so young, you know? She's got so much life and opportunity. I just want her to be happy, to have an actual life. I want Anna to have a chance to have what I never did.

Castiel put his head in his hands and Dean bit his lip. Was he supposed to comfort Castiel? Hesitantly he put a hand out and placed it on Cas's shoulder saying, "You're doing the best you can and it's a lot. Anna's gonna be great."

Castiel gave Dean a small smile and kissed the inside of his wrist, murmuring, "She doesn't know how I get her the money. I've told her that I work at a fancy department store. I don't want her to know what I really do. She was nearly distraught when she found out Gabriel was arrested for robbery. She made me swear to stay out of trouble." He laughed sadly. "Guess I didn't do a very good job."

"Hey," Dean said sharply, tugging Castiel's chin up so that he could look at him, "You're doing this because you love your sister so much that you're willing to sacrifice your own dignity to make sure that she's happy. Don't you say that you're not good enough."

The words echoed in the air and Dean could feel his cheeks getting hot. He was going to say it, he was going to tell Cas that he was falling in love with those blue eyes and that furrowed brow, that he wanted Cas to stay with him forever and that they could find a way together to put Anna through school and then Cas so that he could be a teacher and they would be happy. Dean bit his bottom lip to stop himself from blurting it all out and proposing to Cas right then and there. It was even worse when Castiel looked at him with an expression that made Dean want to melt.

Cas leaned forward and kissed Dean softly and whispered, "Thank you, Dean."

He got up and started clearing the table. Dean helped and they washed the dishes together in silence, occasionally stopping so that Dean could press soft kisses to Cas's eyelids, jaw, his shoulder, the wings on his back, everywhere he could reach, whispering all the while that Cas was amazing and fantastic and that it was a privilege for Dean to know him. He didn't even care that it sounded cheesy as hell, because he damn well meant it.

When two-thirty finally rolled around Dean extracted himself from Castiel's arms and got up from where they had been intertwined on the couch. He gave Castiel a long kiss that involved probing his tongue as far as he could down Castiel's throat. Castiel gave him a huge smile as he left and made him promise to call as soon as he was done with his shift.

Bobby noticed the change in Dean's mood immediately and pulled him aside after he finished tinkering with the engine of a Ford. "Spit it out, boy," Bobby commanded, crossing his arms and giving Dean a look that Dean was quite familiar with.

"What?" Dean replied.

"The only other time I've seen you this happy was when Sam got that full ride to Stamford."

"I'm just happy, that's all," Dean replied, hoping to God that his cheeks weren't getting red as he thought immediately of Cas.

"Spill it," Bobby said in his gruff voice.

Dean sighed and looked around to make sure none of the guys were around before he said, "I've, uh, I'm kinda seeing someone and he's kinda awesome and I may or may not be falling in love with him and don't you fucking smile like that."

Bobby laughed and clapped Dean on the back. "First Sam and now you. Should I put down a date for the wedding?"

"Oh come on, man," Dean groaned.

Bobby just smiled and then shoved Dean back toward the Ford with a, "I'll be sure to pick out a nice suit."

Dean flipped him off from under the hood of the truck.

* * *

Dean slumped down on his couch and dialed Cas first thing when he got home. Castiel answered with a simple, "Hello Dean." but it still made Dean grin like a moron.

"Hey," Dean replied.

"How was work?"

"Fine. You?"

"Same old same old. I worked Crowley's again. Not nearly as interesting as when you were there."

Dean chuckled and then took a deep breath before saying, "You remember my little bro Sammy, right? The big guy with the long hair. Looks like a moose. It was his bachelor party that we met at."

Castiel was silent for a moment and then said, "Yes, I remember him. Why?"

Dean cleared his throat. "Well he and his fiancé are having a dinner thing and I was thinking that maybe I'd ya know take you so that I'd have someone else to talk to if Sam decides to get all gooey eyed with Jess."

Dean could hear Cas laugh. "Are you asking me to be your date?"

"Maybe. If you don't want to that's cool. It was just a-"

"I'd love to," Castiel interrupted him.

Dean smiled. "It's Friday at seven and it's a nice place."

"So you're saying I can't bring my collar?" Castiel said cheekily.

Dean's cheeks went read and he stuttered, "Yeah probably not. But we can most definitely go back to my place afterwards."

"Sounds great," Castiel said happily. There was a beeping noise on the other end of the phone and Cas swore before saying, "That's my dinner setting off the smoke alarms. Fucking cheap things. Sorry I gotta go."

Dean nearly gave himself a pat on the back for not saying "love you" as he said goodbye to Cas. He tossed the phone onto the couch beside him and sat there for a bit, mulling things over and trying to think if he had a suit that would work for Friday. He also needed to go and stock up on food and most likely lube if Cas was going to be coming over after the dinner.

Friday came quicker than he expected. He'd taken an extra shift at work to make sure that he'd be able to pay for Castiel's meal, cause there was no way he was letting Cas pay for it, not after he'd told him where most of his income was going.

He spent far too long picking out a suit, finally settling for something simple with a black tie and the only pair of dress shoes he owned, which were starting to fall apart slightly. He checked his reflection in the mirror, trying in vain a few times to smooth down his hair and then sighing as his cowlick spiked right back up.

He tried not to come off as anxious when he knocked on the door of Castiel's apartment. Cas opened the door and Dean's mouth nearly hit the floor because hot fucking damn did Cas look great in a suit. It was tailored to fit him perfectly, showing off his slim torso and broad shoulders. Dean nearly popped a boner right then and there when Castiel smiled at him.

Castiel let his eyes sweep over Dean and he murmured, "You look quite dashing."

Dean could feel his cheeks burn a bit and he grinned down at his shoes before stepping forward to catch Castiel's lips in a quick kiss. He ran his hands down the smooth material of Castiel's suit, taking extra care to squeeze his ass as he growled against Castiel's mouth.

"I'm gonna show you off to everyone at the restaurant. Show them all how fucking amazing you are."

Dean punctuated the last word with a hard snap of his hips against Castiel's. Cas inhaled sharply and then hissed, "Dean you're going to make me ruin my suit."

"So?" Dean groaned into the hollow of Castiel's neck where he was sucking noisily.

Castiel shoved Dean off and brushed himself down before saying, "_So,_ I'd like to keep this suit nice and besides if I leave you horny all evening I'll be in for a better time tonight when we go over to your apartment and test out something I've been wanting to try."

Dean gulped and Castiel gave him that evil grin again before pushing past him and walking downstairs. Dean followed, trying to think of anything but what Castiel could have planned. If it was anything like last night Dean feared for his ass. Although he rather fancied the idea of turning the tables and making it so Cas was the one who would be subject to whatever Dean wanted to do to him.

They made small talk on the way to the restaurant and Dean went the extra mile and opened the door for Cas. Castiel gave him a huge smile and made quite a show of kissing Dean in thanks. Dean went red and pushed Castiel away with a, "You're gonna make me hard and there's no way I'm walking in there with a fucking boner."

"I would happily fix it for you in the bathroom," Castiel growled into Dean's ear.

He nibbled on Dean's earlobe and Dean hissed, "Cas..."

Castiel placed a chaste kiss to the side of Dean's neck and then grabbed his hand, leading him inside the restaurant. It was much too fancy for Dean's liking with white sheet draped tables and wine in every glass. Castiel pulled Dean forward to the hostess who was eyeing them through her red glasses.

"Table for two?" she asked in a nasally tone.

"Actually we're meeting someone," Castiel told her and Dean should really not find Cas taking initiative so arousing.

"Name?" the hostess asked.

"Winchester."

She peered at the computer screen next to her and then said, "Follow me."

She lead Dean and Castiel to the back of the restaurant where Sam and Jess were sitting at a booth, talking quietly. Dean let go of Castiel's hand as they approached and he ignored the confused glance Cas gave him. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of him and Cas engaging in a bit of PDA in front of his little brother.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said, slipping into the booth and sliding to the far end.

Castiel scooted in next to him and Dean made sure that their thighs weren't touching as Sam looked over at Cas with raised eyebrows. Dean cleared his throat. "Sammy this is Cas. Cas, Sammy. And that's Jess."

Jess waved at Cas and flashed him a brilliant smile. "Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise," Castiel replied.

Sam gave Castiel Bitchface Version 3.0 and then glanced down at his menu pointedly. Dean hated his brother sometimes. Of course Sam was just trying to make sure that Dean was safe, but Sam didn't know Cas like Dean did. Cas wasn't just another one nighter and he sure as hell wasn't just a stripper, but there was no way Dean was going to mention to anyone about that warm feeling he got every time Cas smiled at him.

Almost subconsciously he reached a hand out under the table and found Castiel's. He intertwined their fingers and he could feel Castiel relax beside him. Dammit all he was so far gone that he was going to be belting out The Carpenters or some other shit about how in love he was with Cas.

He couldn't have been more thankful when the waiter came over to take their orders. Everything was so fucking expensive that he was going to be broke by the end of the night. While the waiter was taking Jess and Sam's orders Castiel leaned closer to Dean.

"Do you want to go Dutch?" he whispered.

"No," Dean said quickly, "I'm paying for you. This is my treat. Just don't order the most expensive thing okay?"

"I'll just get soup," Castiel replied and Dean almost turned around and asked him to marry him because soup was the cheapest thing on the menu.

Sam and Jess both ordered steak and Dean and Cas each requested soup, Dean a little sheepishly. The waiter nodded and took their menus, leaving the four of them in slightly awkward silence, which Jess broke by asking, "So where did you and Cas meet?"

"Uh," Dean stuttered, eyes darting to Sam who shook his head in a gesture of "don't you fucking dare tell my wife-to-be that you met your fucking boyfriend at my fucking bachelor party for which you hired fucking strippers"."

Before Dean could think up an answer Castiel said, "We met at a bar, and hit it off."

Thank god for how fucking amazing Cas was. Dean gripped Castiel's hand tightly as Jess said with a smile, "Love at first sight, huh? Or have you two been together for a while?"

Dean clenched his jaw. Leave it to Jess to notice every detail and put Dean in a spot where it was either blurt out that yeah, he was in love with Cas despite the fact that he'd known him for less than a week, or deny that fact and then have to deal with Cas later.

Dean didn't have to decide at all as Castiel said, "We just officially started dating a few days ago, but I don't know if I'd call it love at first sight, although Dean is growing on me."

Castiel gave Dean a look that made Dean's heart nearly jump out of his chest and he jerked when Castiel squeezed his hand under the table. Dean couldn't even smile back at Cas because had Castiel just admitted that he might like Dean a bit more than just as a fuck buddy, or was Dean just imagining things?

Sam made an odd noise and Dean ripped his eyes away from Castiel to look at him. Sam put a hand up and coughed out, "Wrong pipe, sorry."

Dean glared at him and Sam shrugged before clearing his throat and shifting the conversation to Jess's new job as a nurse at the local hospital. Dean sighed and sank a bit lower in the booth. Castiel rubbed his thumb over Dean's knuckles as he listened to Jess and Dean felt that heat in his chest again. He shifted a bit closer to Cas so that their thighs pressed together. Castiel gave him a side glance and then leaned into Dean slightly, just barely, but enough for Dean to look around nervously lest anyone see.

The rest of the night carried on slowly. Jess and Sam made small talk and Dean held Castiel's hand through the entire dinner, only letting go so that Castiel could take a quick trip to the bathroom. The soup was surprisingly decent, but the carnivore in Dean drooled at Sam's steak.

They payed and then it was time for goodbyes and Jess holding both of Castiel's hands in hers and saying, "You're invited to the wedding too, Cas. I'd love for you to come."

She kissed Castiel on the cheek and then Dean. Sam shook Castiel's hand and then pulled Dean aside while Cas and Jess chatted about possible flavors for wedding cakes. Dean spoke before Sam could, "Look Sammy, if you're gonna bitch about Cas to me, just save it."

Sam blinked and then said softly, "Actually I was gonna say that Cas is actually a really great guy." He smiled and gave Dean a hard pat on the back before commenting, "Just don't be too much of a dick to him. And don't wake the neighbors up cause I know how vocal you can be."

Dean punched him in the shoulder. "Bitch."

Sam stuck his tongue out and it was hard to believe that his sasquatch of a brother was nearly thirty. Sam and Jess waved goodbye and Dean and Castiel were left in the slightly chilly night air. It was just so natural for Dean to fit his hand into Castiel's and let himself be led back to the Impala and shoved into the driver's seat. Castiel slipped in beside him and Dean got the hint. He revved the engine and they sped off toward Dean's apartment.

They went up the stairs in silence, Dean unlocking the door the only sound interrupting the silence which wasn't uncomfortable per se, just sort of stalled. As soon as Dean shut the door Castiel was upon him, hands in his hair and a warm, wet mouth that turned him inside and out as Castiel growled against his lips.

"I've wanted you all fucking night."

Dean groaned against Castiel's lips, but he wasn't feeling it. Sure he was aroused, but he didn't want to do anything other than just curl into Castiel's side and tell him that he wanted it to be their wedding that was coming up and not his brother's. Hell he just wanted to whisper those three words to Castiel all night long. He had to be out of his fucking mind. No one falls in love in a week unless you're in some sort of sappy romantic chick flick. But he couldn't deny the fact that that warm feeling was there and it didn't seem to be going anywhere.

Castiel pulled back from Dean with a confused look and Dean suddenly felt guilty. He had anticipated a night of hot sex with whatever new toys or kinks Castiel wanted to try out, but now he just wanted to cuddle and run his fingers through Castiel's hair.

"Shit I'm sorry man," Dean said as Castiel pulled back even more, "I'm just not feeling it."

A small understanding smile came across Castiel's face and he kissed Dean softly before saying, "I understand."

He grabbed Dean's hands and steered him toward the hallway that led to Dean's bedroom and Dean had no idea how Cas seemed to know where everything was, but he didn't care because Castiel was being so gentle that it made Dean's heart do somersaults in his chest. Castiel pushed open the door to Dean's room and they slipped inside.

Castiel shut the door softly and then he went over to unbutton Dean's suit. He shrugged the material off Dean's shoulders and then undid his tie, tossing both over the back of the chair while kissing each of Dean's features reverently. Dean sighed happily and leaned into the soft touch of Castiel's fingers, which were stroking the skin that he had bared by removing Dean's tie.

Dean was so fucking in love with Castiel that it wasn't even funny. Every delicate touch of Castiel's lips and hands sent chills running up his spine and he keened into the drag of Castiel's thumb along his bottom lip. Castiel moved his hands away so that he could quickly take off his own vest and tie, placing them on top of Dean's before slotting their hips together in a slow roll that made the heat travel through Dean's entire body.

Castiel had somehow managed to get both their chests bare and he pressed against Dean, skin hot against skin. Dean moaned as Castiel moved his lips down to Dean's neck and then to his right nipple which perked interestedly at the drag of Castiel's teeth. So maybe Dean was getting a little more turned on now, but he still wanted to take things slow, to savor each touch.

As if Castiel had read his mind, he said softly, "We have all night. We can go as slow as you want."

He punctuated "want" with a kiss to the underside of Dean's navel and Dean threaded his fingers through Castiel's hair as Castiel set about the task of unbuckling Dean's belt and shimming his pants down to his ankles so that Castiel could press kisses along Dean's legs.

Dean hissed as Castiel mouthed at the inside of his right thigh. He spread his legs further apart and Castiel moved his mouth higher, using more tongue and making it so that Dean was now tenting the front of his boxers. Dean's fingers were massaging the top of Castiel's head, and he swirled his hips absently as Castiel sucked dark bruises to the inside of his thighs.

Castiel moved back up to Dean's chest and then to his mouth, kissing him with a gentleness that made Dean's heart hurt. Dean let Castiel suck on his bottom lip while guiding him to his bed. Dean's calves hit the bed and they both tumbled onto it. Castiel shucked his pants off and settled over Dean, his hands on either side of Dean's head so that he was hovering above him.

Dean gripped Castiel's face in his hands and brought their lips together again. The words were there, teetering on his own lips, ready to fall into Castiel's mouth, but Dean swallowed them down again and tried to focus on the slow grind of Castiel's hips against his own.

Dean moved one hand up to the back of Castiel's neck, pulling him closer with his other on Castiel's sweaty back. Castiel moaned against his lips and dragged their still clothed erections together. Dean growled into Castiel's mouth and then Castiel's lips were assaulting his nipples again and then his quivering stomach. Castiel bit down hard on Dean's thigh and Dean gasped out as Castiel's tongue soothed the quickly purpling flesh.

"So beautiful," Castiel moaned against Dean's skin, "So fucking amazing."

Dean arched up from the bed as Castiel's mouth teased at the wet front of his boxers and then they were suddenly gone and Castiel's lips were on Dean's cock. He kissed his way from base to tip as Dean groaned loudly. Castiel swirled his tongue teasingly around the head of Dean's dick and then he took him in all the way, wet and tight and just so fucking perfect. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and tried to hold out, tried to memorize every touch and drag of Castiel's teeth, but Cas was alternating between Dean's dick and his balls, sucking and prying and Dean was coming fast and hard, spiraling out of control and coming back down to find Castiel's lips against his own again.

He could feel Castiel's erection pressing against his thigh and he lazily pushed Castiel off him so that he could move his lips over Castiel's body. He went slowly, worshiping each inch of perfectly pale skin, each clenched muscle, savoring each noise that he drew from Cas. He teased at Castiel's cock with the tips of his fingers and then his tongue, licking a wet stripe from base to tip and mouthing once, just once at the leaking head. Castiel cried out and gripped Dean's shoulders, fingers digging hard enough to leave dark marks as they fell away when Dean took as much of Castiel as he could.

Cas gargled something and bucked his hips into Dean's mouth, pushing farther in. Dean tried not to choke, focusing on his breathing and making sure that Castiel would come just as hard as he had. Finally he felt Castiel's release spurt into the back of his throat. He swallowed quickly and then kissed his way back up Cas's limp body.

"Fuck," Castiel whispered into Dean's hair as Dean laved his tongue over the design of the feathers that spanned over Castiel's shoulder slightly.

Dean occupied his mouth with kissing Castiel again because fuck it all he was going to say it, it was going to tear itself from his mouth and he wasn't ready, he wasn't ready for Castiel's rejection, for him to say that it was still too soon, that Dean was just coming down from the high of an orgasm, and that he didn't really feel this way.

Castiel sighed happily into Dean's mouth and then pulled away to look up at Dean with an expression that should have had little hearts shooting out of his eyes. Dean bit his lip and rolled off Castiel so that they were lying side by side. He pulled Cas to him, tucking Castiel's head under his chin and rubbing circles into Castiel's skin. Castiel hummed happily into Dean's collarbone.

"Have you ever been in love, Cas?" Dean asked and fuck, the words were about to tumble out.

Castiel's brow furrowed and he ran his fingers through the dusting of hair over Dean's chest as he answered, "Not really. You?"

Dean gulped. "Uh, well, I thought I was once a long time ago, but it wasn't for real."

Castiel hmmed and flattened his palm over Dean's stomach as he mused, "Love has always baffled me. I think it's taken too lightly nowadays, like something that you can just throw away if it doesn't suit you."

Dean chuckled. "Don't get too deep with me here, man."

"I mean it though," Castiel insisted, "Nobody gives a fuck about love anymore. At least not about what it used to stand for, well mostly stand for anyway. I mean there are a lot of people who insist that love, as in marriage love, can only be between a man and a woman, but I don't think that's the case. Just look at us."

Dean's breath hitched and his mind was racing now. He should say it, he could tell what Castiel was hinting toward and it was those three words that had been on his lips since yesterday. He opened his mouth to say them, but instead he found himself asking, "What do you mean by 'look at us'?"

Castiel's cheek became suddenly hot where it was resting on Dean's chest and Dean peered down to find that he was blushing furiously. Shit. Shit. _Shit._ Was Cas in love with him? Had this warm feeling in his chest also planted itself in Castiel's?

"Cas?" he asked, rubbing his thumb along Castiel's chin, a small spark of hope flaring in his chest.

"'S nothing," Castiel said quickly, burrowing his face in the crook of Dean's neck, "Forget about it."

"No," Dean said sharply, surprised at his sudden courage. He pulled Castiel's face up to look at him. "I'm not gonna let it go because I can't." The words were rushing out now, "I know that this is gonna sound stupid as fuck, and I understand if you just wanna leave, but I'm being one hundred percent serious when I say that I think I'm falling in love with you."

Dean's words hung in the air for what seemed like forever and he looked nervously at Cas, who was just sorta staring at him. Fuck. He knew that this would happen, he should just leave now. He started to pull himself out of Castiel's arms so that he could slink away, but Castiel tightened his fingers over Dean's arm.

"Do you mean that?" he asked softly, blue eyes locked with Dean's.

Dean's mouth went dry and he knew he couldn't force more words out, so he just nodded. A strange expression flitted over Castiel's face and then Cas was kissing Dean softly and murmuring, "I don't think it's stupid and I would be honored to fall in love with you, Dean Winchester."

That was it, the final straw. The damn broke and Dean was falling so fast and hard and everything was Cas and he was so far gone that all he could do was kiss Castiel and fist his fingers into Castiel's unruly hair. He trailed his fingers down Castiel's thigh and cupped one cheek of his ass in his hand, squeezing it slightly and pushing their hips together, letting his body do the talking and hoping that Cas got the message. Castiel seemed to catch on and he climbed on top of Dean so that they could grind together again, the movements slow.

"How are you even real?" Dean gasped against Castiel's collar bone as Cas was sucking a hickey onto Dean's shoulder.

"You're the one who's a marvel," Castiel moaned, "I've met thousands of men and woman and none of them compare to you, Dean."

He kissed Dean soundly and Dean smiled happily against Castiel's lips. This was so perfect and he never wanted it to end. He always wanted Castiel's hot body over his, the feel of their dicks dragging against each other as the ground together rhythmically, the heat coming from the inside and out as Castiel mumbled lost words into the skin that stretched over Dean's ribs. He couldn't make out what he was saying, but he didn't care because he was lost in a warm bubbling feeling that was filling him to the brim.

Castiel kissed the marks he had made on Dean's thighs earlier and Dean's hips jerked slightly as his cock perked up, ready for another round. Cas noticed and he trailed his fingers over the hot skin. Soon Dean was coming again under the quick slip and slide of Castiel's hand around both their cocks. Castiel gasped out above him and warm cum spilled onto his stomach as Castiel shivered.

Dean groped for the box of tissues that he kept by the bed and he wiped up the come, tossing the soiled Kleenex into the trashcan so he could pull Castiel to his chest once more and spoon up behind him. He peppered kisses along Castiel's shoulders and whispered against his skin.

"Fuck falling in love, I'm already there."

Castiel laughed and leaned back against Dean saying, "So should we plan a date for the wedding?"

Dean snorted. "We should just crash Sammy's and order the priest to marry us instead."

"I don't think your brother would approve of that."

"Well then we'll just skip his wedding and elope."

Castiel chuckled and stretched in Dean's arms. He shifted so that he and Dean were pressed chest to chest again and he commented, "As long as we can go to Disneyland for our honeymoon."

"We'll go wherever you want, babe," Dean said, placing a kiss to the top of Castiel's head.

"We sound like sentimental dicks," Castiel commented and Dean laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

**The chapter after this gets a bit angsty. So enjoy this one! More background for Cas, and Gabe is in it! Thanks again for the reviews!**

* * *

Dean woke the next morning with a crick in his neck. Castiel was draped across his body, one leg nestled between his thighs, his breath beating against Dean's chest. Dean smiled and kissed Castiel's cheek. Castiel stirred and opened one sleepy eye.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Dean said.

Castiel groaned. "What time is it?"

Dean glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table. "It's almost eight."

Castiel sighed and snuggled closer to Dean. "Then we should sleep for at least another two hours."

"I wish, but I've gotta go to work," Dean bemoaned.

Castiel pouted a bit, but sat up. He stretched and Dean watched the muscles of his back pop and roll. He would never be able to figure out how he ended up with this guy. Cas was just so fucking amazing and it helped a lot that they had both basically admitted that they were in love with each other, whatever the hell that meant.

"What time do you have to leave?" Castiel asked, looking down at Dean.

"In about an hour and half," Dean answered, absently stroking his thumb over Castiel's thigh when the sheet slipped down a bit. "Do you hafta go in today?"

Castiel shook his head. "I don't go back till Sunday."

"Well then we have all of tonight to try out that thing you were talking bout yesterday before we went to dinner."

Castiel's face perked up and he grinned. "As long as you're up to it."

"Does it involve my ass taking another beating?" Dean asked.

"You'll have to wait and see," Castiel replied and Dean had no idea how his voice could drop an octave like that.

He smiled and sat up enough so that he could press his lips to the black ink that was on Castiel's ass. He kissed his way up the feather until he could turn Castiel around and kiss his mouth. They stayed that way for several minutes and then Dean pulled away with a, "I gotta take a shower before I go."

He got up and headed toward the bathroom, but stopped as he opened the door. He turned around to look back at Cas. "I'll be home at six. You gonna go back to your place?"

"I'd rather just stay here, if that's okay with you."

Dean shrugged. "Fine by me. You let me crash at your place last time so mi casa es su casa or whatever. Just don't mess with the shows on my DVR."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Castiel replied with a grin.

He gave Dean a long languid kiss before Dean left for work and Dean was on cloud nine the entire day, whistling to himself and drawing weird looks from the guys at work, but he didn't give a shit. He was in love, yeah actual fucking love and he didn't even try to find a secluded place to call Cas on his lunch break. He even mumbled a quick "love you" before he hung up and he could practically see Castiel's grin as Cas said, "Love you too."

When he walked through his door that evening he was surprised to find that Castiel wasn't crashing on his couch. He wasn't in the kitchen either, although Dean's pantries were stocked full of healthy shit and he smiled. Cas was the best fucking boyfriend ever. Dean finally found Castiel in the bedroom and his mouth nearly dropped open.

Castiel was sprawled out on the bed buck ass naked, but the thing that really turned Dean on was the fact that Castiel's hands were tied together by the blue silk tie that he had been wearing last night while Dean's black tie was wound about his head, covering his eyes. Dean's first thought went to Christmas cause Castiel was wrapped up all nice and pretty for him and he was already half hard in his jeans.

Castiel craned his neck in the direction of Dean as he heard the distinct sound of a belt being undone and clothing being tossed away as Dean stormed up to the bed. It dipped under him and Castiel smiled, turning his head in the general direction of Dean.

"Fucking Christ, Cas," Dean breathed as Castiel wiggled his hips invitingly.

Dean took the hit and pressed close to Castiel, kissing him soundly, just barely missing the feel of Castiel's hands in his hair. He pulled back and Castiel said, "Good day at work?"

"Not nearly as good as what I had waiting for me when I got home," Dean said, his voice gruff as he let his hands skim over Castiel's sides.

Castiel keened into Dean's touch with a little moan and that hot spike drove itself into Dean's chest again. Castiel was laid out like this for him. He was all his and the thought sent blood straight down to Dean's groin.

He scooted off Castiel and Cas looked around blindly for him, muttering, "Dean? Dean you know I can't see what you're... FUCK."

Dean grinned against Castiel's skin where he had just put an impressive bite on the inside of Castiel's thigh. Castiel groaned as Dean soothed the bruise with his tongue and he could see Castiel's arms struggling against the tie wound about his wrists. Dean put a hand over them and held Castiel's hands against the pillow as he laved his tongue over the milky white skin on the underside of Castiel's thigh.

"Lift," Dean ordered.

Castiel obeyed, lifting his legs up and holding them in the air as Dean moved his lips along each thigh, kissing and sucking, marking Castiel up. Cas hissed and his arms thumped against the sheets as Dean teased at the head of his erection, but then Dean's mouth was back on his left leg, sucking a hickey into the white skin and turning it an angry red.

"You're perfect," Dean moaned, kissing his way up Castiel's leg and capturing his lips again.

Castiel moaned into Dean's mouth and Dean had forgotten how strong Cas was. His legs were still in the air and he wasn't even shaking. Dean pulled away from Castiel's mouth and said, "Stay like that. Stay ready for me. I'm gonna fuck you open. You got that, baby?"

Castiel nodded and gasped out, "Yes Dean. Fuck yes."

Dean slid off the bed and went as quickly as he could to retrieve the lube that he had bought a few days ago. Upon finding it he scurried back to the bed and he reached a new level of aroused as he saw Castiel again, his legs raised, ready for whatever Dean wanted to do to him.

Dean popped the cap off the lube and squirted a good amount onto the fingers of his right hand. He crawled back onto the bed and trapped Castiel's wrists again before teasing at his hole, which was bared for his eager fingers. Castiel arched up and cried out. Dean shushed him with his lips as he pushed one finger into him. Castiel moaned loudly and jerked his hips. His legs fell onto Dean's shoulders as Dean added a second finger, scissoring and stretching Castiel wide as Cas began to babble.

By the time that Dean had a third finger in Castiel Cas was panting so hard that Dean was worried he might pass out from lack of breath. Dean swirled his middle finger around, brushing against Castiel's prostate and Cas inhaled sharply and fucked himself onto Dean's fingers with a new energy.

"Kiss me," Castiel demanded.

Dean did and Castiel's tongue invaded his mouth. Dean sucked on it as he added a fourth finger, making Castiel groan loudly. Castiel's knees tightened around Dean's head and he moaned, "Now Dean. _Fuck_. Please do it now!"

Dean kissed him again as he pulled his fingers out so that he could slick up his own dick. He sat up straighter and Castiel's legs fell off his shoulders as Cas began to tremble. Dean hitched Castiel's legs over his forearms as he angled his cock over Castiel's hole. He thrust in slowly and Castiel threw his head back, moaning loudly. Dean pushed in until he was buried as far as he could go and then he leaned forward and, with his teeth, tugged off the blindfold covering Castiel's eyes so that he could see Cas scrunch his eyes shut as he fucked him open.

"Oh Jesus. Dean!" Castiel cried out, meeting Dean's second thrust and making them both groan simultaneously.

Dean spat out the tie and leaned down to run his lips over Castiel's hard nipples, biting and tugging until he could feel Castiel's hardness pressing against his stomach. Castiel's arms strained against the tie still around them and Dean wanted him to come, wanted to hear Cas scream out his name.

"You gonna come for me?" Dean asked, breath beating against Castiel's stomach as he bent over so that he could pull out of Cas and thrust in again with more force.

"_Dean_," Castiel whined, biting his bottom lip hard.

Dean let go of Castiel's right thigh and grabbed the end of the tie that dangled from the knot that Castiel had somehow tied. He dragged Castiel's hands down over his head until the rested between them. Dean kissed along each of Castiel's knuckles and then sucked on the fingers of his right hand, dipping his tongue between the digits. He dropped Castiel's legs and hand altogether in favor of pumping Cas's wet cock instead. Castiel growled and braced his knees on either side of Dean's hips, squeezing as his cock twitched.

"Come on me," Dean whispered, "Want you to paint me white, want you all over me, want everyone to see that you're mine."

Castiel made an animalistic noise and he moved his still bound hands to the only part of Dean that he could reach, which happened to be his neck. He ran his fingers over the sinews as he looked up at Dean with dark eyes, pupils blown so wide that Dean couldn't even see the blue anymore. Castiel placed both his hands over Dean's heart and Dean moved in him again, making him gasp out his name.

Dean bucked against Castiel once more and then Cas was coming in hot spurts against Dean's stomach, quivering under him, his nails raking over one of Dean's nipples as Dean stroked him through his orgasm. Cas became gloriously tight around Dean's cock and it only took a few more thrusts before Dean was spilling into Castiel with a groan.

When his head cleared again he pulled out and fell onto Castiel, who was breathing slowly, his eyes closed, completely in a state of bliss. Dean kissed him softly and was surprised when Castiel mumbled, "I love you" against his lips.

"I love you too," Dean replied and damn did it feel good to say it.

He rolled off Castiel and began to untie his wrists, taking extra care when Cas hissed as the fabric of the tie slipped over the bruises that had already begun to form around Castiel's wrists. Dean kissed the darkened skin softly and then laid down beside Castiel on the bed, not even bothering to clean the cum off the sheets or his stomach as he pulled Cas to his side and carded his fingers through Castiel's hair.

"I just wanna stay here forever," Castiel said quietly, his lips brushing against Dean's chest.

"Then we will," Dean replied, "And no one will bother us and we can fuck each other until we can't stand anymore and then we'll just talk and cuddle."

Castiel snickered and said, "Cuddling, really Dean?"

"Okay fine. No cuddling then." Dean let go of Castiel and moved away so that there was a good amount of space between them.

"Oh come on, Dean," Castiel whined.

Dean didn't reply, but he let Castiel spoon up behind him and throw an arm around his waist. Castiel nuzzled the back of Dean's neck and said, "Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cuddling. It's just a funny word that's all."

"Just shut up," Dean said, pressing back against Castiel as a sudden wave of tiredness swept over him.

Castiel smiled against Dean's shoulder and then threw his leg over Dean's and tugged him closer. Dean's eyes fluttered shut and he vaguely registered that Castiel was talking to him, but none of the words reached his ears as he drifted off in the strong embrace of Castiel.

* * *

Through the next few weeks Dean fell even more head over heels for Castiel than was seemingly possible. Every text, every smile, every night spent in Cas's strong arms just made that warm feeling in his chest burn hotter. He loved ending each phone conversation with, "Love you" and when Cas would murmur it to him before leaving for work it made Dean smile for the rest of the day.

With the date of Sam's wedding fast approaching things got a little hectic. Cas was definitely on the invite list now, and they had spent some time shopping for suits together, both blushing when the man at the retail counter asked if it was their wedding. Dean couldn't deny the fact that he had spent one long night seriously considering making his relationship with Cas permanent, but he couldn't find the guts to do anything more about it. It was still too soon, he told himself. He'd wait till after Sam and Jess were hitched before thinking anymore on the matter.

When the day of the actual wedding arrived, Dean was probably more nervous than Sam. He kept fidgeting while Castiel tied his tie for him. Castiel shot him a look and brushed his fingers over the lapels of Dean's suit, saying, "Relax, baby. This is Sam's big day and everything's gonna go great."

"But what if it doesn't?" Dean asked, "What if they forget their lines or the rings get lost?"

Castiel chucked and leaned up to kiss Dean softly. "If we ever walk the aisle are you going to be doubly nervous?"

Dean's eyes widened and he smiled. At least he wasn't the only person thinking long term. He grabbed Castiel's hands from where they were resting on his chest and leaned down to kiss Cas long and languid, sliding his tongue against the seam of Castiel's lips until Cas opened for him with a sigh. They spent several minutes exploring each other's mouths for the umpteenth time, stopping only when the alarm on Dean's phone went off and Led Zeppelin blared through Dean's apartment, where he and Castiel were currently staying together.

They pulled apart and Dean tipped his head forward to press their foreheads together. He sighed happily and closed his eyes. "We'd better pick out a honeymoon destination soon," he joked.

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean long again until the second alarm went off which meant that they had to get the hell outta there now or risk being late to Sam's wedding.

Although Dean wouldn't admit it, he shed a tear or two during the ceremony. Jess was a vision in white and the look on Sam's face as she walked down the aisle was worth the entire world. Dean had to laugh when Sam nearly passed out during the vow ceremony, and he could see Jess grip his hand tightly. They were pronounced man and wife and his sasquatch of a brother scooped his new bride right off her feet during the kiss. When they finally parted and turned around to the cheering crowd of relatives and friends they were both wearing grins that could rival the sun.

At the reception afterwards Dean watched with the biggest grin on his face as Sam and Jess cut the cake. They gave each other bites and Castiel leaned closer to Dean at the table they were seated at so he could whisper in his ear, "I'd shove the cake in your face so that I could lick it off later." Dean grinned wider.

Dean found Sam before the dancing started, clapping his brother on the back and then pulling him in for a bone crushing hug, saying, "Mom and dad would be proud."

Sam swallowed and then smiled sadly. "Thanks, Dean," he whispered before yanking Dean into another hug.

Dean pulled back with a stately nod and then pushed Sam toward the dance floor with a, "Now get out there and find your new Mrs."

Sam grinned at him before going over and taking Jess's hand. Dean put his hands in the pockets of his pants, rocking back and forth to the slow beat of the music as he watched Sam and Jess dancing together slowly. It was so wonderful to see Sammy so happy and Dean was sure that his smile was never going to leave his face tonight.

There was a soft hand on his elbow and Dean looked over to see Castiel's smiling face. The near permanent smile grew larger and Dean took Castiel's offered hand, letting Cas lead him onto the dance floor. It was a little awkward at first seeing as Dean wasn't really one for dancing, and he and Cas were both dudes so they had to take a moment to find where hands went. They got lost in the music easily enough however and soon everything was fading into the background as both Dean's hands came to rest on Castiel's hips.

He pulled Cas closer to him as a slower song came on. Castiel looped his arms around Dean's neck and they pressed close together, swaying in time to the slow beat. Castiel leaned his head against the crook of Dean's neck, his chin resting on his shoulder and Dean pressed their cheeks together, imagining for a minute that this was their wedding and that the cab waiting outside was there to take them away to Disneyland where they could kiss at the camera on each roller coaster.

When the music ended Dean and Castiel stayed pressed together a little longer than was necessary and when Dean finally pulled away he kissed Castiel for a few minutes before letting him go completely. Castiel gave Dean a smile that was only meant for him before he went over to get a couple of glasses of punch for them.

The rest of the night was a pleasant blur of happiness and Dean was damn tuckered out by the time that he and Castiel finally stumbled back to his apartment. Their suits and ties were scattered about the walkway as they trudged to Dean's bedroom, plopping down on the bed with contented sighs.

"Damn," Dean breathed, stretching lazily and popping his back.

Castiel smiled at him from where he was draped across the foot of the bed. He crawled his way up the sheets and flopped over Dean's body, one leg between Dean's and his head resting under Dean's chin as he said, "I'm sure your brother is going to be very happy with Jess."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, she's a hell of a woman. They're a match made in heaven."

Castiel nodded and then pressed a kiss to the underside of Dean's jaw. Dean rolled them so that Castiel could spoon up behind him. He melted into Castiel's embrace and sighed happily when Cas draped his arm over his hip. Castiel pressed small kisses onto the back of Dean's neck, murmuring softly, so soft that Dean didn't catch anything he said. A small part of him wanted to ask what it was, but he was too damn tired to do anything but just close his eyes and fall asleep to Castiel's steady breathing.

* * *

Sam certainly kept Dean updated on what he and Jess were doing on their honeymoon. His phone went off nearly every other hour with a new picture. Sam and Jess lounging by the seaside, Sam miming a kiss with a hermit crab, Jess smiling at Sam while dipping her toes in the surf. By the time Sam and Jess's flight home came, Dean was so close to sending Sam a picture of him and Castiel doing an old fashioned 69 just to make his brother stop.

Dean and Castiel's relationship had steadily been getting more serious as the months went by. They switched off from sleeping at each other's apartments and they'd even developed those little quirks that couples get after being together for a while. Dean learned what each of Castiel's little expressions meant, the tiny sighs he gave each night when the fell into bed together. Cas also knew now that Dean loved the weekends and that he needed at least one burger a week to keep from going insane, and that Dean was actually one of the biggest post sex cuddlers ever.

They were doing just that when Castiel's phone went off, loudly blaring some pop music through Dean's apartment. He wiggled his way out of Dean's arms and grabbed it, answering with a gravelly, "Hello?"

There was a loud voice on the other end of the phone and Dean could hear a clear, "Cassie!"

Castiel angled the phone away from his ear and then said, "Gabriel?"

Dean raised his eyes at Castiel and Cas shrugged, listening to his brother intently and occasionally saying, "Yeah. Sure." His brow furrowed and he looked over at Dean saying, "I'm at my boyfriend's house... Yes I have a boyfriend. No it's not an open relationship. Jesus Gabe." Castiel made an apologetic face at Dean and then his eyes shifted to the left as his brow furrowed a bit more.

He covered the speaker of the phone and said to Dean, "Gabriel wants us to come over to dinner."

Dean raised his eyebrows again and set his chin on Castiel's thigh, musing, "I'm cool with it."

"Dean said that's cool," Castiel said into the phone. He looked annoyed for a second and then sighed, "Fine, but only if Jack stays down."

Castiel hung up and Dean inquired, "Who's Jack? Gabe's boy toy?"

Castiel snorted. "No, he's his corgi. Gabriel wants to have us come to his apartment. He says he's going to treat us to a," Cas made air quotes with his fingers, "'fine dining' experience, which means sandwiches and soda."

"Hey as long as it's free food I'm all for it," Dean commented, nuzzling his nose against Castiel's hip.

It turned out that Gabriel was going to serve sandwiches as he told Castiel in a text, also asking what kind of sandwich they wanted. Castiel's phone went off several more times after that, once an accidental butt dial from Gabe. Castiel told Dean that the texts were actually mostly Gabriel asking about what kinky sex positions he and Dean had tried.

"Does Gabriel know about your job?" Dean asked as he washed caked egg off a pan in the sink.

Castiel swallowed his bit of toast before saying, "He does. He's pretty cool with it, he's had his share of oddball jobs. Even did a little time at a phone sex company."

Dean chuckled and said, "Well if he sounds anything like you I'm sure he was great at it."

"He was actually fired after five minutes," Castiel replied, taking a lazy sip of his coffee.

The corners of Dean's mouth quirked up and he commented, "You know we should add phone sex to the list of things to do when we're both horny as hell."

Castiel snorted into his coffee cup and Dean could practically hear him roll his eyes. He wiggled his hips a bit and Castiel seemed to get the idea, coming up to press against Dean's back, winding his arms around Dean's waist, and whispering against Dean's neck.

"Our list of things to do while having sex is going to become very long, isn't it?"

Dean nodded and turned off the faucet with a squeak, wiping his hands on the dishtowel before twisting in Castiel's grip and pressing their lips together. He invaded Cas's mouth with his tongue and Castiel groaned, sucking on Dean's tongue a few times and circling his hips so that they ground into Dean's ever so slightly.

"How long do we have before we hafta go to your brother's?" Dean mumbled against Castiel's already swollen lips.

"About three hours," Castiel replied, nipping at Dean's bottom lip.

"More than enough time," Dean growled.

He pushed Castiel away so that he could drag him back toward his bedroom. Castiel's t-shirt disappeared before he even entered the room and Dean's vanished soon after. They took a few moments to just kiss lazily, pressed together and then Dean was yanking Castiel's pants down and his own.

"I think now would be a good time to try out one of the items on our sex list," Dean mused before going to suck at one of Castiel's nipples.

Castiel groaned loudly and then asked, "And what would that be?"

Dean leaned closer to Cas, nibbling at his left earlobe before he whispered into Castiel's ear. Cas inhaled sharply and pushed Dean away to look at him with wide eyes. Dean gave him a grin and then pushed him back onto the bed, straddling Castiel's stomach.

"How should we do it?" Dean asked, trailing a finger down Castiel's stomach and smiling at the way the muscles clenched.

"Like this," Castiel replied, grabbing Dean and turning him so that they were lying side by side.

They stripped off their boxers and then Dean grabbed the lube from where it was sitting on the bedside table. He placed it on the pillow and then leaned in to kiss Castiel, thrusting his tongue into the other man's mouth and savoring the way that Cas moaned in response.

Dean snuck a hand down to caress the jut of Castiel's hip, thumb swiping over the thin skin as he said, "You're so fucking gorgeous, baby."

Castiel mmmed against his mouth and pressed closer to Dean so that their erections brushed together ever so slightly. They both groaned and Dean reached up to pop open the cap of the lube. He spread some of it over his fingers and then handed the bottle to Cas, who did the same. They locked eyes and then Castiel pressed his lips to Dean's again as his slick fingers inched down Dean's body.

At the first press of Castiel's fingers at his entrance Dean gasped. His hips bucked a bit as Castiel slid one, long finger inside him. Fuck. He was gonna have to pull himself together if he was going to reciprocate. He shook his head and then moved so that he could swiped his thumb at Castiel's hole.

Castiel let out a little breathy sigh and raised his leg, draping it over Dean's and yanking Dean closer as Dean pushed his finger inside. They both twirled their digits at the same time and a collective moan filled the room. Dean sought out Castiel's mouth and nipped at his bottom lip as he inserted a second finger into Cas.

Castiel's breath hitched and for a second Dean thought he was going to pull out and just let Dean finger him, but then a second finger joined the one inside Dean and Dean had to let go of Castiel's lip lest he bite down too hard because fuck this was awesome. He could see each tiny expression shift over Castiel's face as he began scissoring his fingers, the way that Cas's cheeks were flushed, the wetness on his lips.

Dean kissed those lips again. He twisted his pointer finger around to brush against Castiel's prostate as he whispered, "You gonna let me make you come first?"

Castiel's expression shifted and he moved even closer to Dean so that their chests heaved against each other with each breathe. Dean's eyes went wide as a third finger found its way into him without warning.

"Shit, Cas," he moaned as Castiel worked him open.

Castiel pressed a kiss to the underside of Dean's jaw, growling, "I'll fuck you open before you can make me come. Stretch you so wide with just my fingers, stretch and pry until you're begging for me."

Dean gulped and then he was adding a third finger, matching Castiel's movements, stretching him wide as Castiel's fingers did the same in him. The air was filled with their ragged breaths for a bit and then Dean was kissing Castiel softly, murmuring against his lips, "I fucking love you."

"I love you too, Dean," Castiel replied before crying out, "Oh fuck Dean! Right there!"

Dean moved his finger again and Castiel gargled loudly, his fingers inside Dean stilling as Castiel began clenching around him. He felt the hot spurts of semen against his stomach and he grinned in triumph as Castiel's body went lip, his fingers sliding out of Dean.

"So much for fucking me open before you come," Dean mumbled, pressing a kiss to the pale column of Castiel's throat.

Castiel's eyebrows lowered and then he was scooting down the bed until he was face to face with Dean's erection. Dean thought for a moment that he was about to be treated to a blow job, but Castiel's strong hands flipped him instead so that he was lying with his ass in the air.

Castiel angled Dean's ass even higher and then he gripped Dean's thighs tightly. Dean gasped as he felt cool breath near his already wide hole and then_ Jesus Fuck _that was most definitely Castiel's tongue. Dean moaned loudly as Castiel's wet tongue probed into him, licking and_ shit_, Castiel's whole mouth was over Dean's hole now and he was sucking. Fucking hell Cas was_ sucking_.

Dean's hips jerked as Castiel suddenly pulled away, choosing instead to lick at the swell of Dean's balls, creating a wet stripe along the skin before thrusting his tongue back into Dean. Dean groaned and rocked back slightly, his fingers gripping the sheets tightly, knuckles white.

Castiel added a finger, swirling it around as he pressed light kisses against Dean's ass, nipping at the left cheek while swiping the pad of his finger over Dean's prostate. Dean was so close that it hurt. That fire was building in his veins and he just needed that little extra bit of stimulation to...

"Fuck!" Dean groaned as Castiel's tongue came back to tease at his hole.

"Gonna come for me?" Castiel purred.

"Yes," Dean panted, "Christ. Yes, Cas. Cas please."

Dean felt a puff of air blow into his abused hole and he swayed a bit, pressing his face into the sheets as he put his ass higher, hoping that Castiel would get the message. He seemed to as that sinful tongue of his swept back into Dean, laving around the muscles and making Dean cry out.

"Shit, Cas! I'm gonna..."

His words got lost as he orgasmed, his mind going white as the pleasure coursed through his system. When he finally came down he dimly registered that Castiel was kneading his ass in his palms and pressing kisses to the ring of muscles around Dean's entrance.

Eventually Castiel made his way back up the bed, kissing each of Dean's shoulders before dropping onto the sheets next to him with a happy smile. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand, intertwining their fingers as he said, "Shit, Cas that was awesome."

Castiel grinned and then commented, "I'm guessing that we can cross that off our list as well?"

Dean pursed his lips. "For me yes, but I think I'd like to repay the favor to you in the future."

Castiel's eyes darkened a bit at the suggestion and he licked his lips. Dean chased Castiel's tongue back into his mouth with his own and they spent several minutes just kissing slowly, sucking and nipping and Dean could hear Cas mumble that L-word more than once as their breath mingled.

Before they left for Gabriel's Dean spent some time online browsing for something that he wanted to add to their new list of kinky sex ideas. He had to make sure that Castiel didn't suddenly jump him from behind, because he wanted this to be a surprise and he couldn't help the little evil grin that spread across his face when he found the perfect one. He placed the order, deleting his interest history afterwards, not that Cas was going to go snooping on his computer, but he couldn't be too careful.

Gabriel's apartment was quite a contrast to Castiel's neat one. There were clothes everywhere and Gabriel kicked a pile of them aside to try and clear a pathway as he led Dean and Castiel into his kitchen. Jack the corgi followed close at his heels and Dean had never particularly liked dogs, but there was something rather hilarious about this one. Jack looked like a sausage on four legs, a sausage that drooled and tried to hump your leg, but a sausage nonetheless.

"Down, Jack," Castiel commanded as the dog began jumping Dean's leg.

Dean gave Jack a quick pat before following Castiel into the kitchen where three chairs stood around a rather beat up table. Castiel pulled one out and offered it to Dean, who shot him a glare of, "really pulling out the chair?" Castiel just gave him a smile and looked to make sure that Gabriel was preoccupied with the dinner so that he could give Dean's ass a quick squeeze before forcing him down into the chair, casually taking the one next to it as Gabriel came over, toting three sandwiches that were each massive.

Gabriel plopped one down in front of Dean, one for Cas and then a ridiculously large BLT for himself. He slumped down in the chair and grinned broadly at Dean before winking at Castiel and remarking, "You done good baby bro. He's quite a catch."

Dean's eyebrows lowered and he was about to say something, when Cas beat him to it, remarking, "Dean is not a fish, Gabriel."

Gabriel snorted and spoke through a mouthful of sandwich, "Whatever." He swallowed and then said, "So how long have you two been going at it?"

"About three months," Castiel said, meticulously cutting his sandwich in half.

"And things are kinky and fabulous, right?" Gabriel asked with a smile.

"If they are it's none of your business," Dean growled at him.

He had expected Gabriel to be like this, a bit of a dick, but mostly a tease. And that fucking grin that seemed to be permanently stuck on his face was really starting to piss Dean off. He tucked into his sandwich, keeping his eyes down on his plate and half listening as Gabriel and Cas discussed Jack's new diet, which wasn't working. At least the sandwich was decent and Gabe had root beer, which, if he had to have soda, was Dean's favorite.

When Castiel finished with one half of his sandwich, he excused himself and headed for the bathroom. Gabriel watched him leave and then Dean found himself staring into the golden eyes of Castiel's brother and his blood went cold because, fuck, Gabriel suddenly looked like he was going to peel his skin off layer by layer.

Dean gulped and tried not to flinch as Gabriel leaned forward and hissed, "You listen to me hotshot, Castiel is my baby brother, and we don't exactly have a dad that comes around every Saturday for barbeques, so Cas is my responsibility, and if you are fucking him for any reason other than the fact that you genuinely like him, I will not hesitate to hunt you down and give you a good look at your insides."

Dean put his hands up and stuttered, "Easy. Cas is one of the greatest guys that I've ever met, if not the greatest. And there's no hidden agendas going on or anything like that."

Gabriel gave Dean an unconvinced look and Dean almost let slip that he was actually considering making Cas a permanent part of his life because he was fucking in love with him, but Castiel had come back into the room. He looked with confusion at Dean and then at Gabriel, one eyebrow raised. Gabriel sat back in his chair, still glaring at Dean with his freaky ass golden eyes and Dean wondered if strange eyes ran in the family.

Castiel sat down again and there were several minutes of awkward silence until Castiel asked, "Have you heard from Michael recently?"

Gabriel snorted and swirled his soda in the wine glasses that he had provided for the evening. "Do you really think Mikey would be talking to me?"

Castiel made a face and Dean asked, "Michael? How many siblings do you guys have?"

"There's four of us total," Gabriel informed Dean with a passive wave of his hand, "And there would have been more if dad hadn't decided to run off with that bitch from Barbados."

"Gabriel," Castiel sighed.

"What?" Gabriel growled, giving Cas a challenging look.

Castiel's eyes darted over to Dean and he said softly, "We don't need to bother Dean with family matters."

"No it's fine," Dean interrupted.

"Well I don't think so," Castiel said.

"It's cool, Cas," Dean told him, putting a hand on his thigh under the table, "Besides I wanna know more bout your family."

Castiel gave Dean a smile Gabriel groaned. "God you guys are making me sick."

"Michael," Castiel continued, ignoring Gabriel, "is my and Gabriel's oldest brother. He's a CEO."

"Got his ugly ass face on the cover of like five magazines already," Gabriel interjected, "But does he ever come by for sandwiches? No. He's too busy shoving that stick further up his nicely suited ass."

Castiel glared at Gabriel and Dean commented, "I take it you guys aren't close."

"Not at all, Dean-o," Gabriel replied, and Dean wasn't sure how to respond to the new nickname. Gabriel continued, "Michael left after dad did and he's been gone ever since. Only came round once for a Christmas like five years ago and it was just to grab his favorite mug from the cupboard. I mean the guy's filthy rich, practically rollin' in the dough, and he's not married or any shit like that, but he's too much of a dick to send some of that cash he bathes with to put his little sis through college."

Gabriel ended with a growl and then slumped back in his seat. Jack whined from where he was lying and then jumped up in Gabriel's lap, flicking slobber over the table as he wobbled on his short legs. Gabriel gave him a shove. "Get off me you stupid, mutt." Jack jumped back down onto the floor and then Dean felt something heavy and furry drape over his feet. He ignored the dog as Cas spoke again.

"Anna is doing fine. We don't need to worry Michael about the money for her education."

"Yeah?" Gabriel snapped, "And what about his brother who's working as a fucking stripper so that Anna can have that God damn money!"

Castiel was quiet and he looked down at his hands, which were clenched tightly in his lap. Gabriel huffed and Dean wasn't sure it he was supposed to defend Castiel. Hell, if he didn't have one of the cheapest paying jobs on the fucking planet he'd definitely give the Novaks the extra money they needed so that Cas wouldn't have to go to work in his birthday suit anymore.

Gabriel finally broke the silence. "It doesn't matter anyway. He's never gonna change and you're careful Cas and you make good money, so hey! Everybody's happy." He got up and grabbed Dean's empty plate. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go clean up."

He sulked into the kitchen and Dean turned to Cas. He leaned close so that he could press a soft kiss to Castiel's temple. Cas leaned into the touch and sighed. Dean was surprised when long fingers guided his lips to chapped ones and he let Castiel kiss him softly for a few moments.

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel breathed and Dean's heart clenched up a bit.

He kissed Cas again as an answer and then his phone went off. "Fuck," he mumbled, pulling it out and frowning when he say that it was Sammy. He got up, saying to Cas, "I gotta get this, it's Sam."

Castiel nodded at him and Dean bit his lip, because there was something sad in Castiel's eyes. He brushed his fingers down Castiel's cheek and cupped his chin in his hand, ignoring the second round of music from his phone as he brought Castiel's lips to his again, whispering, "We're gonna do whatever you want when we get back to my place, okay?"

Castiel nodded and Dean gave him one final kiss before going into the sitting room and answering the phone with a, "I'm a little busy right now, Sam, so this has gotta be quick."

"Oh," Sam replied, "Well in that case," Sam took a deep breath, "Dean, you're gonna be an uncle."

Dean's eyes went wide and he stuttered, "What?"

"Jess and I are having a baby."

A wide grin split Dean's face and he cried, "Sam you dog! Jesus man! That's great! Boy or girl?"

Sam laughed. "It's way too soon to tell, Dean. But if it's a girl, I'm gonna make you put bows in her hair."

"You will not," Dean retorted, his face still stuck in a smile. "But seriously, Sammy, that's awesome. You gotta keep me posted okay?"

"I will," Sam told him.

"Sam," Dean said, before his brother could hang up.

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna make a great dad."

The line was silent and then Sam said softly, "Thanks, Dean." He cleared his through and then said, "Now I believe you said that you had something that you were doing?"

"Yeah, yeah. See ya, Sammy."

He hung up and then went back into the kitchen. Castiel raised his eyebrows as he noticed Dean's large grin and Dean had to make sure he didn't say that _they_ were going to be uncles as he said, "Sam and Jess are having a kid."

Castiel's face lit up and he said, "That's great Dean!"

"What's great?" Gabriel asked from where he was fishing another soda out of the fridge.

"Dean's brother is having a baby," Castiel informed him as his brother came back to sit with his feet propped up on the table.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow and then commented, "By the looks of what you two were doing after I left, there will probably be two babies on the way." He looked cockily at Dean, "Hope you don't get morning sickness."

"If I do I'll be sure to vomit on you," Dean retorted.

Castiel stood up and both Gabriel's and Dean's eyes watched him as he brushed himself off, scattering more of Jack's hair onto the messy floor. "It's getting late," he mumbled, looking at Dean, "We should go."

"Yeah, sure," Dean said. He turned to Gabriel and extended a hand. "Well thanks."

Gabriel shook Dean's hand with more force than necessary. He made sure that Castiel was out of earshot before he snarled, "You better treat my brother good or I will hunt down your ass."

"Don't worry," Dean told him, "Castiel is number one on my list right now so as long as you don't tear off my head on the way out."

Gabriel narrowed his eyes but gave Dean a pat on the back anyway as Dean turned around to follow Castiel out. Cas waved goodbye to his brother and then to Jack, who was barking his head off. Dean heard Gabriel yell at the dog to "shut the fucking hell up" as Castiel shut the door.

The drive back to Dean's apartment was quiet. Castiel watched the lights of the city passing by, his eyes reflecting the brightness. Dean sought out his hand on the seat and gripped it tightly the rest of the drive. When they got into Dean's apartment Castiel shrugged off his coat and headed toward the bathroom.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower," he said as he started shrugging off his shirt.

"Okay," Dean said, not sure if he was supposed to wait or not.

His question was answered when Castiel said, "You're going to join me."

Dean raised his eyebrows, pursing his lips. "That works."


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so I'm warning you guys about the content of this chapter, the middle/end specifically. To put it simply, Cas gets raped. So if that's triggering for you, don't read.**

* * *

Castiel had the water running and was already under the hot spray by the time Dean came into the bathroom. He slipped into the shower, thanking God or whoever was upstairs that he had one big enough for two. Castiel had his back to him and Dean stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Castiel's middle and letting the hot water warm his skin.

"You okay?" he murmured against the slick skin of Castiel's shoulder.

"I'm fine," Castiel replied, leaning back against Dean.

Dean placed a kiss to the side of his neck. "If I had a better job I'd put you through college."

Castiel turned around in his arms and met his eyes and shit Dean always forgot just how amazing those baby blues were. "Dean you're already so good to me," Castiel said, gripping Dean's arms tightly, "And I don't need to chase down a dead dream."

Dean's brow furrowed and he said softly, "Don't say that. If you still wanna be a teacher later down the road then you're damn well gonna be one." Castiel's eyes flicked away from Dean's gaze and Dean tipped Cas's face back to look at him. "You hear me?"

Castiel brought one of his hands up to cup Dean's on his cheek and he sighed. Dean leaned down to kiss him softly and when he pulled away Castiel said softly, "I love you, Dean. I love you so much."

"I know, baby," Dean replied, pulling Castiel against his chest and making the water squelch between their bodies.

Castiel went limp against him and Dean ran his fingers through Castiel's hair, slicking the wet strands back from his head so that he could kiss Castiel's forehead. They were quiet for a few moments, just standing under the steady flow of water and then Castiel said, "I'm sorry if Gabriel was rude to you. He's just a bit overprotective sometimes."

"Nah he was fine," Dean replied, moving them so that he could lean against the tiled wall, "And it's good to know that you have someone else besides me looking out for you."

Castiel bit his lip and nestled closer to Dean, pressing against him so that their bodies were flush. Dean moved his hands over Castiel's shoulders, massaging the tense knots out, and then to his back until his palms rested at the small of Castiel's back, cool against Castiel's water warmed skin.

He leaned down and sought out Castiel's lips, catching them in a chaste kiss which quickly became more heated as Castiel pressed closer to Dean, grinding their hips together. Dean nudged his tongue against the seam of Castiel's lips and Cas opened hungrily for him, sucking him in and moaning loudly.

Cas pulled away and looked at Dean with wide, blown eyes. "I love you," he said again and his grip on Dean's arms was actually painful.

"I love you too," Dean replied.

He kissed Castiel again and moved so that they could switch positions. Castiel groaned as Dean moved his lips down to the pale skin of his neck and Dean could hear him panting, "I want you, Dean."

"How?" Dean asked in between needy kisses.

"I don't fucking care," Castiel growled before thrusting his hips into Dean's forcefully.

Dean hissed at the contact and he could feel Castiel outlined against his thigh. He braced one hand against the wall and inched the other one down to grab Castiel's cock, which sprang up as he stroked it in one long motion. Castiel made a tiny noise in the back of his throat and his nails scraped against the wet tiles of the shower.

Dean could feel the water on his back as he pumped Castiel a few times. The droplets felt cool now as the heat between their bodies filled the small spaces of air that still separated them. Castiel's hips bucked into Dean's fist and Dean let go so that he could grab his own dick, stroking them both and biting his lip as his own hips jerked slightly.

"_Dean_," Castiel whined, leaning his forehead on Dean's shoulder, panting against Dean's wet skin.

"Let it go, babe," Dean whispered, "Just forget about everything. I'm here."

Castiel shuddered as Dean swiped his thumb over the slit of his cock once before going back to his slow movements. Castiel's breath beat against his shoulder as Dean stroked their dicks again. Castiel's body was so tight as Dean kissed his way across Castiel's collar bone.

"You're so tense," Dean whispered against Castiel's chest.

Cas whined in response and Dean jacked their dicks a few times, making Castiel arch up. His back slapped against the slick tiles of the shower, the sound echoing over the loud moan that Castiel let out while Dean pumped him fast, letting go of his own cock so that he could focus on Cas.

Castiel's hips bucked into his hand as Dean stroked him slowly, whispering against the skin of Castiel's neck. He could feel blunt nails scraping along his back and then Castiel was cupping his ass in his palms, squeezing and anchoring himself as he came hard and fast, cum splattering Dean's stomach while the air was filled with a loud yelp.

Cas went completely limp and slid down the shower wall until he was sitting on the floor. Dean came soon afterwards with a groan, but his post orgasm bliss was quickly over when he noticed that Castiel was violently shaking. He kneeled in front of Castiel and gripped his shoulders tightly. It became obvious what was going on as Castiel turned a tear stained face up to him.

"Oh Cas," Dean whispered, pulling Castel close to him and letting the other man cry against his shoulder.

Castiel's tears were hotter than the water still spraying on his back and Dean moved so he could bring Castiel into his lap, Castiel's legs wrapped around his waist, fitted against him, firm and wonderful. Dean presses soft kisses to Castiel's shoulders and then buried his nose in the crook of Castiel's neck, inhaling slowly as Castiel's breathes slowly evening out.

Castiel sniffed loudly and then said in a voice that was slightly hoarse, "I'm sorry."

Dean pulled him back so he could look him in the eye as he asked, "For what?"

"For everything," Castiel replied, looking down at his hands, "I'm a terrible boyfriend and you could really do better than me."

Dean gripped Castiel's face in his hands and made him look at him, locked onto the blue eyes as he said, "I don't want to do better than you, Cas. I want you, you hear me?"

Castiel shook his head. "No you don't. I'm a whore."

"No you're not," Dean barked, "So what if you're a stripper? I don't give a fuck! I love you, Cas."

Castiel's lip quivered and he opened his mouth to protest again but Dean cut him off with his lips, pressing them hard against Castiel's. He could feel the wetness of Castiel's tears against his cheeks and Cas tasted a bit like salt water as Dean slipped his tongue out to caress the hot inside of Castiel's mouth.

When he pulled away he brushed his thumbs over Castiel's cheeks, wiping away the wetness that still lingered there. He held Cas's face and said, "Castiel Novak, I love you and you are not some fucking whore, you understand?"

Castiel nodded numbly and he leaned his head against Dean's shoulder. Dean gripped him tightly and leaned his head back against the wall of the shower, letting the droplets of water slide down his face. He breathed deeply and cradled Castiel in his arms. He wished he was better with his words so that he could tell Castiel exactly what he wanted to say, but he'd always been shit at trying to communicate his feelings. He usually showed how he felt with his body, yielding for people, dominating, soft touches, rough kisses, etc.

He pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's hairline and rubbed soothing circles on his back and shoulders, working the hot water over his skin and trying to relax him. It worked and eventually Castiel was completely sated in his arms, eyes fluttering slowly as he fought back a sleepy yawn.

Dean pushed him off with a, "Come on. I'm gonna soap you up and then we're gonna go to bed."

Castiel let Dean haul him up and then spread suds over his body, only moving when Dean told him to lift his arms or stand under the spray of water. Dean worked some of his shampoo into Castiel's hair instead of Cas's usual brand because Dean liked it when Castiel spelled like the apple scented kind he used.

Castiel blinked as the suds from the shampoo ran over his face. Dean leaned his head back into the spray of the shower, letting the water wash the shampoo away. He left Cas with his head titled back so that he could lean forward and kiss at the column of his neck reverently. Castiel closed his eyes and moved so that Dean had better access to the hollow of his throat.

Dean mouthed at Castiel's pulse point and then he leaned Castiel's head forward again so that he could kiss him softly before turning the water off and stepping out of the shower while holding both of Castiel's hands. He let go only to grab a towel and dry Castiel off and then he was leading him out of the bathroom and into his bedroom where they both snuggled under the soft sheets.

Dean pulled Castiel close to him, tucking his head under his chin and saying, "Everything's gonna be fine, baby. I'm gonna make sure that you get that degree and teach to your heart's content. Hell, I'll even let you read Little Woman to me if you want."

Castiel let out a small laugh that tickled Dean's chest and he pressed closer to him saying, "I think I'd rather have you read it to me. I'd like to hear you do Jo's voice."

"Jesus no," Dean chuckled.

"Or maybe," Castiel said, poking Dean in the stomach, "I'll have you come to my class and read it for my students."

Dean snorted and then kissed Castiel softly before whispering, "Don't ever change, okay?"

Castiel smiled against Dean's skin and Dean kissed him again before they both went quiet, just listening to the sounds of the city outside the window, getting lost in the distant horns and sirens that seemed like whispers to Dean compared to the steady sound of Castiel's breathing.

* * *

The next few weeks went by quickly. Dean spent most of his time at Castiel's place and they crossed off a few more items off their sex list. Sam and Jess sent them pictures of the first ultrasound. Dean told Sam over the phone that it looked like E.T. and Cas had slapped so hard upside the head that he had seen stars for a bit. Jess was doing great and Dean had never heard his brother sound so happy during their conversations.

Of course Dean was quite happy himself. Castiel was the best boyfriend in the entire world and each day he spent with him was a step up from the past one. Dean was adamant on keeping his promise to get Castiel his teaching degree although they both knew that there was no possible way to get it anytime soon what with the money situation they were in. But that didn't stop Dean from buying Castiel a shit ton of new books for his birthday and taking him out to a very nice restaurant and treating him to some hot sex that involved Dean bent over the back of a chair as Cas pounded into him, Dean's name on each ragged breath that fell from Castiel's lips.

Dean shouldered open the door of his apartment late one night, tossing his phone and keys onto the counter before slumping onto the couch. Work had been a bitch and he was quite ready for some sex to forget about it. Cas was staying over again and he figured that he must be in the bedroom already, so he headed back there with a groan as his aching feet protested.

Sure enough, Castiel was sitting on the sheets, a book in his hand and his clothes scattered about the floor. Castiel was gloriously naked and he put the book down with a cocky smile as he said, "Care to join me, Mr. Winchester?"

Dean's jacket had hit the floor when Castiel opened his mouth and his clothes soon followed. He crawled up the bed slowly, taking a moment to place a few soft kisses on the pale skin of Castiel's right thigh. Castiel jumped a bit as Dean's lips ghosted across the sensitive skin over his cock and Dean smiled into the opened mouth kiss.

"You have a good day?" Dean asked, breathing in the scent of Castiel as he tore his mouth away from Castiel's addicting skin.

"I guess," Castiel replied. He smiled and twined his fingers through Dean's hair, "Although it's getting much better."

He yanked hard on Dean's hair and Dean got the drift, moving so that he was straddling Castiel's waist with his hips, his lips on Castiel's mouth, his neck, his chest, anywhere he wanted to go, tasting and sucking. He laved his tongue over the dark mark that he had just placed under Castiel's collar bone and Cas moaned loudly, jerking his hips into Dean's so that their erections dragged together ever so slightly.

"So fucking perfect," Dean breathed against Castiel's chest before assaulting his left nipple with his mouth.

Castiel cried out and then strong hands were pushing Dean off and Castiel was turning the tables so that he was the one on top. He worked his way down Dean's skin, mouthing and sucking at each out his nipples and making Dean whimper slightly.

"I'm gonna take you so good tonight," Castiel growled against Dean's stomach, "Gonna make you scream for me till you're hoarse."

Dean inhaled sharply and keened into the drag of Castiel's tongue over his skin as he gasped out, "Fuck yes. God Cas."

He could feel Castiel's laughter puff out against his inner thigh and then the warmth of the other man's body was gone momentarily before Castiel returned and those were definitely his slicked fingers pressing against Dean's entrance.

Dean bit his lip and arched his back as Castiel worked his pointer finger into him. A loud moan escaped his lips when Cas added a second and scissored them a few times, kissing Dean's chest and stomach all the while. When he slipped a third finger in he growled against Dean's inner thigh.

"Gonna split you wide. Gonna make you come all over me until you can't see straight."

Dean nodded in response, his mouth falling open as Castiel stretched him wide. There was the sound of something being dragged up onto the bed, but Dean forgot about it as soon as a fourth finger found its way inside of him. He threw his head back with a breathy groan and his hips jerked, making his dick slap against his stomach.

Castiel placed a kiss to the inside of Dean's thigh and whispered, "You ready for me?"

"Yes," Dean whined.

Castiel's tongue teased at the outer lining of his hole for the briefest of seconds and Dean thought he might just come then and there because fuck Cas was so good, but then something blunt was pressing into him slowly. He steadied his breathing as Castiel commanded him to do so, pressing a kiss to his shoulder as he slid into him, but there was something different, something off that Dean couldn't put his finger on.

Castiel slipped out of him again and then thrust in with new force, making Dean groan out as he hit his prostate and then suddenly everything went white as Castiel began vibrating, fucking vibrating and no, that wasn't Castiel in him.

Dean's eyes jerked open and he craned his neck to see that... fuck. The fucking dildo he had ordered was in him, Cas was using the toy he had bought on _him_. He arched up off the bed as Castiel pushed the dildo further, the vibrations traveling through Dean's body, stimulating his prostate and making him see stars.

"Fucking Christ, Cas!" Dean cried out, hands scrabbling at the sheet as pleasure coursed through his body in white hot waves.

Castiel chuckled, his voice somewhere above Dean as he said, "It came today while you were at work." He smoothed his hands over Dean's stomach, "Betcha wanted to use it on me, didn't you, Dean? Wanted to make me come with it. Wanted to fuck me so good that I would be writhing on the sheets like you are right now."

"Cas!" Dean gargled as Castiel flipped the dildo up a notch and the vibrations came faster.

Castiel growled loudly before thrusting the toy into Dean hard and making Dean's toes curl into the bed sheets as a low whine was ripped from his throat. He bucked his hips hard, trying to see through the stars that were dancing in front of his eyes because Jesus Fucking Christ this was the most stimulation he'd felt in forever. His entire insides were on fire and the dildo still had a few more settings to go as he soon found out when there was another small click and the whirring sped up.

Dean cried out and Castiel purred, "Let it out, baby. Wanna hear you."

Dean obeyed, screaming his fucking head off, nearly howling in pleasure as the toy went up to the final notch and shit it was all too much. The vibrations traveled through him, sending hot flames of pleasure coursing through his system and fuck fuck f_uck _Castiel was angling the toy just right so that it moved against that little bundle of nerves and his lips were on Dean's and then Dean was coming so hard that he almost blacked out.

He came back to himself when the feel of something too warm splattered over his stomach and then Castiel was falling on top of him with a loud sigh. Castiel tossed the dildo aside and Dean heard it clunk onto the floor and then there were chapped lips against his and Castiel's tongue was in his mouth.

Cas pulled back and breathed, "God, Dean."

Dean pulled Castiel closer and replied, "You weren't supposed to find that fucking thing."

"I figured as much," Castiel snorted. He kissed Dean softly, "which was why I decided to try it out on you first as a little surprise. Was it any good?"

"Try fucking amazing. And I'm definitely using it on you next time."

"I've used sex toys before, Dean," Castiel replied casually, tracing one of Dean's puckered nipples with his thumb.

Dean huffed. "Well then I'll just hafta make it extra good."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Challenge accepted."

* * *

Cas was gone again the next morning, but Dean found a text on his phone from him.

_See you Monday night. Bring ice cream. I'll have a pie ready. And you better bring lots of lube too. Gonna be a messy one most likely. Luv you._

Dean's grin stretched from ear to ear and he texted back.

_Sounds good. See you then. Love you too._

He tucked his phone away and went about the task of washing his soiled sheets. He moped around his apartment for the majority of the day and he had never been more grateful that there was a Dr. Sexy marathon on. He was right in the middle of a new plotline when his phone buzzed loudly from beside him.

It was an unknown number and he picked it up with a, "Hello?"

A professional female voice answered him, "Is this Dean Winchester?"

"Yeah, that's me," Dean answered, suddenly a bit worried.

"Do you know a Castiel Novak?" the woman asked and Dean's heart nearly stopped in his chest.

"Yeah, yeah I do. Did something happen?"

There was a brief silence and then the woman said, "He's been in an accident."

Dean's blood went cold and he croaked out, "An accident? What, what kind of accident?"

"We think he may have been a victim of a sexual assault."

Dean's heart actually did stop this time and it took him several minutes to realize that the woman on the phone was asking him if he was alright. He stuttered out, "Where is he?"

She gave him the address of a hospital and told him that she had called because Dean was first on Castiel's contact list. Dean thanked her and hung up before she could say anything else. He was in his car without even locking his door and the entire way to the hospital he was praying to whatever God there was that Cas was okay because he would never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to Cas.

Dean ran up the stairs and made the nurse at the reception desk jump when he yelled at her, "Castiel Novak. What room?" The nurse looked him up and down and Dean said, "Dean Winchester. I'm his boyfriend. What. Room."

The nurse got up from the table, putting her hands out in a calming gesture as she said, "You'll be allowed to see him soon once we finish collecting what data we can to see if it's possible to find his attacker."

"Fuck you," Dean hissed, "I need to see him now."

The nurse was unphased and said softly, "I need you to take a deep breath Mr. Winchester. Castiel is going to be fine. He just needs rest and I promise that you can see him as soon as we are finished."

Dean had to fight the urge to punch the nurse in the face. He was boiling with rage and all he could see was red. Cas had been fucking raped and he couldn't even comfort him because the fucking doctors needed to pry and ask questions to see if they could find the fuckwad who did this to him. The very thought of Castiel at the mercy of some fucker, made his teeth grate and his fists clench.

He let the nurse lead him to a waiting chair and he numbly took the cup of coffee she handed him. He didn't drink it however, just stared at the liquid as his mind went over a thousand possible situations of what he would do to beat the living daylight out of the bastard who dared to lay a finger on Castiel. He almost didn't hear the soft voice of the doctor.

"Are you Mr. Winchester?"

Dean stood up, not caring that the coffee sloshed down the front of his jacket as he answered, "Yeah that's me. How's Cas? God please tell me he's okay."

The doctor put a hand on Dean's shoulder to steady him and Dean realized he was shaking like a leaf. The doctor's voice was steady as he said, "From what we got out of Castiel he was jumped coming back from his work. The man pinned him in an alley. Castiel is suffering from multiple lacerations around his thighs and wrists and we believe the man may have attempted to choke him at some point in time although Castiel doesn't quite remember. He is in a state of shock. A woman passing by phoned 911 after she found him."

"Jesus," Dean moaned, swaying slightly at the horrible mental images his mind produced. He blinked a few times and said, "But he's gonna be okay, right?"

"Physically he'll be fine," the doctor told him, "But we'll have to wait and see how he is mentally after he wakes up. He started hyperventilating and we were afraid that he might hurt himself so we put him under. He'll wake in a few hours and we'll check on him then."

"What about any STDs," Dean asked.

"We'll have the results of the blood tests back by tomorrow." The doctor motioned toward a hallway saying, "You can stay with him until he wakes if you want."

"Yeah. Sounds good," Dean replied, his voice small.

He numbly followed the doctor back to the room that Castiel was in. Dean's knees were wobbling and he had to take a deep breath before actually entering the room. He didn't know what he expected to see, but it was just Castiel lying in the hospital bed. There were bandages around his wrists and he was breathing softly, his hospital gown rising up and down with each breath he took.

Dean shuffled over and fell into the chair that was beside the bed. He shakily took Castiel's hand in his, gripping it tightly as his eyes traveled over Cas's slack face. There was a thin cut under Castiel's right eyebrow and he had the beginnings of a black eye. Looking at Cas like this made Dean's heart hurt. This shouldn't have happened. Castiel should be back at his apartment baking pie and singing Katy Perry songs. Hell he should be a teacher, educating kids and reading Jane Austin books. He shouldn't be lying her in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV cause some dick jumped him in an alleyway.

A part of Dean wondered if it was at a club Cas had been working and the thought made Dean just want to take Cas away from his fucking job that he took to have money to pay for his sister. He wanted to take Castiel in his arms and tell him that he would be there for him now and that he would find a way to get the money to keep Anna in college and to send Cas to college as well and that everything would be okay.

Castiel stirred slightly and a pained expression crossed his face. His pulse jumped on the monitor above the bed and his palm became clammy in Dean's grip. Dean smoothed a hand over Castiel's hair and murmured, "It's okay, Cas. I'm here." He pressed a kiss to Castiel's damp forehead and Cas relaxed, his pulse becoming even again.

Dean didn't know when he fell asleep, but the sound of his phone woke him with a jolt. He had fallen asleep with his head on the bed, resting beside his and Castiel's intertwined hands. He wiped the dried drool off his cheek and gave Castiel's hand a squeeze before exiting the room to take the call.

Sam's anxious voice met him when he picked up, "Dean what's going on? I've texted you like five hundred times and called at least five. Is something wrong?"

"I'll say," Dean replied, his voice hoarse even though he hadn't been yelling.

"What happened?" Sam asked concerned.

"It's Cas," Dean answered, looking at Castiel's still sleeping figure on the hospital bed. He cleared his throat before saying, "He was raped last night."

"What?" Sam's voice was loud in Dean's ear.

Dean found his throat oddly tight as he said, "Yeah. Some dude jumped him in an alley as he was getting off work. Beat him up pretty bad. I guess he had some sort of weapon."

"Oh my God, Dean. Is he okay?"

"I think so. We're still waiting for the blood test to come back." Dean sighed and said, "I just... I just feel like this is all my fault, Sammy."

"It's not your fault, Dean," Sam said quickly, "You had no idea that this would happen, so don't beat yourself up. Cas is gonna be fine. Tell me when he wakes and Jess and I will come by and visit him."

"Yeah sure," Dean said absently, watching Castile as he turned over in his sleep.

"Everything's gonna be fine, Dean," Sam said and Dean had never been more thankful for his baby brother.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean said before hanging up and walking back to Castiel's bedside where he fell into the chair.

He lost track of how long he sat there just holding Castiel's hand and thinking. He was going to make sure that Castiel never had to go back to Heaven or Hell or ever be in a situation that could put him in possible danger again. He didn't even care if he had to take three extra jobs because he was going to support Castiel until he could get his degree and go teach.

When Castiel finally woke Dean hadn't even realized how much he'd wanted to see those baby blues again. Castiel blinked and looked around blearily. When his eyes fell on Dean they grew wide and he looked around the room again as if seeing it for the first time.

"What happened?" he rasped out, his voice scratchier than usual and Dean knew it was either from screaming or from the dark bruises that Dean could see around Castiel's neck. Both thoughts made his blood start to boil again.

He spoke softly as he answered Cas. "You were assaulted last night by some fucker in an alley." Dean raised Castiel's hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. "I'm so sorry, Cas." Castiel looked confused and he was silent for a long time and Dean asked, "Do you remember anything, Cas?"

Castiel nodded numbly and then Dean saw tears falling into his lap. The sight ripped Dean's heart straight in half and he climbed up into the bed to cradle Cas in his arms, murmuring against his hair as Castiel gripped Dean tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. Castiel started shaking and Dean hugged him tighter, running his hands up and down Castiel's back in a soothing gesture. Eventually Castiel's sobs stopped and then he went slack in Dean's arms and Dean just held him until the nurse came in and told Dean that they needed to check on Castiel's bandages.

Reluctantly Dean let go of Cas and he was actually a bit scared when Castiel just fell back onto the bed as he got up. He just laid there and let the nurse change the gauze around his wrists. When she pulled down the sheets to inspect the bandages on his thighs Castiel made an odd noise and then he hit the nurse hard, knocking her backward a bit.

"Woah, Cas!" Dean cried, rushing forward to grab Castiel by the arms as Cas attempted to claw at the poor woman's face.

Castiel shoved at Dean and then he was screaming, the sound hoarse and gritty and absolutely terrible. "GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Dean let go and Castiel went limp like a puppet whose strings had been cut. He just dropped onto the sheets and stared up at the ceiling. The nurse cupped her cheek as she rushed out of the room, calling for the doctor to bring another sedative.

"Cas?" Dean asked, hesitant to step any closer to him.

If Castiel had heard him he didn't answer, he just continued to stare at the white ceiling. Dean bit his lip and hesitantly put a hand on Cas's arm. Castiel flinched, but didn't do anything more. Dean cautiously put a hand on Castiel's forehead, which was burning up. Castiel's eyes fluttered closed and he made a soft noise in the back of his throat.

"God Cas I'm so sorry," Dean croaked out, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

One of them fell onto Castiel's hand and Castiel jerked violently. For a second Dean thought he was about to freak out again, but Castiel just turned his head to look at Dean. It was almost as though he were looking through Dean though. Dean smiled at him, but Cas didn't respond. He just turned his gaze back to the ceiling.

The doctor came in and Dean was forced away from Castiel as the nurses set about getting a sedative ready for him. As soon as Dean's hand left Castiel's Cas began screaming again. Dean shoved away the nurse that had been leading him out of the room when he heard the cry of "DEAN!"

He ran back to the bed and gripped Castiel's hand tightly, saying, "I'm here, baby. Just calm down. It's gonna be alright."

Castiel went quiet and the doctor said, "Mr. Winchester, we need you to tell him that we need to change the bandages on his thighs."

Dean nodded and said softly, "Cas I need you stay still for a bit okay?"

Cas shook his head and whined, "I just wanna go home. Take me home, Dean."

Dean cradled Castie's cheek in his palm. "I know and we can go as soon as they make sure that you're okay."

Castiel closed his eyes but didn't move as the doctor lifted up his hospital gown to peel off the white bandages on his legs. Dean's stomach churned as he saw the cuts that a pocketknife had most likely inflicted upon Castiel's skin. They were deep and red, and one of them was accompanied by a large bruise and a few crescent shaped marks from fingernails.

The nurses changed the bandages professionally and the doctor told Dean that he would be sending a package of gauze home with him and that he would need to change them daily until scabbing began to form. Dean nodded only half listening as his suddenly noticed the teeth marks around Castiel's penis and balls. That hot rage boiled up in him again at the thought of someone touching Castiel like that without his consent and he had to take a few deep breathes to clear the red from his vision.

"The blood tests came back negative," the doctor said and Dean nodded again, his eyes still fixed on the foreign marks covering Castiel's skin. The doctor was still speaking, "He's most likely going through acute stress disorder. It shouldn't last long, not more than four weeks, but judging from how he reacted earlier it would be wise to keep him under watch and let him rest."

"Yeah, okay," Dean said, wiping a stray tear from his cheek that he didn't realize had fallen.

Dean was in a sort of daze until he realized that he was suddenly sitting in the front seat of the Impala with Castiel beside him, still with that same vacant look on his face. He remembered the doctors giving him a sheet with tips on dealing with post trauma stress and they informed him that they were going to check the DNA that they found on Castiel and that they would let him know if they were able to locate Castiel's assaulter.

Now as Dean sat next to a very silent Cas he didn't even care if they found who did it, he just wanted to take Castiel home and make him better, to clear the fog that covered his eyes and tell him that he was going to take care of him.

"You wanna go back to your apartment?" Dean asked, the key poised over the ignition.

Castiel shook his head and answered so quietly that Dean almost didn't catch it, "I want to go home with you, Dean. Please."

"Yeah, sure thing," Dean replied.

He reached out a hand and gripped Castiel's tightly, rubbing his thumb over the back of it and smiling as Castiel relaxed visibly. He was dressed in his normal clothes, looser jeans and a pullover sweater, but there was still something off about him and it wasn't the bags under his eyes, which weren't as blue as they normally were.

They arrived at Dean's apartment and Dean walked behind Cas as they made their way upstairs, making sure that Castiel wasn't going to teeter and fall. He was very shaky and it concerned Dean. Dean guessed that Cas must have lost a good deal of blood during the attack, not to mention the fact that he was fucking raped in a fucking alleyway.

Dean opened the door and Castiel made a beeline for Dean's room. He shut the door and followed at a distance, watching with sad eyes as Cas laid down on the bedspread and curled up into a tight ball. He shut his eyes and Dean let him be, going to put the gauze and papers onto the countertop.

He called Sammy after that and told him that Cas was doing better, but that he was gonna probably be out of it for a week or more. Sam told Dean that he'd bring by some food and whatever else they needed. He ended his call with, "You being there for him is the best thing and he's gonna be fine. Just you wait."

Dean cried for a whole hour after the phone call. He didn't know how to deal with this, with how fragile Castiel looked lying on his bed in a small ball, clutching his legs to his chest as though he could hide himself from the world. This was not the way things were supposed to go and Dean blamed himself for it.

He slumped down onto the couch, refusing to go into the bedroom and face Castiel's lifeless eyes. He couldn't do this, he couldn't look into the dull blue and tell Cas that everything was going to be okay, because it wasn't. Cas was broken and there was nothing that Dean could do for him except wait and tend to him, hoping that he would be able to recover on his own.

Dean didn't even remember falling asleep, but he woke to the sound of screaming. He knew right away that it was Cas and his heart stopped in his chest as he ran over to the bedroom. Castiel was writhing on the sheets, his mouth open in a loud cry that sent chills up Dean's back.

Dean rushed forward and stood above him. He didn't know whether or not to try and calm him. If he touched Cas he risked him freaking out even more. Sweat covered Castiel's face and throat and his hands were shaking violently as another scream was ripped from his throat, followed by hoarse words.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Castiel's eyes popped open and he sat up on the bed, putting his arms out in front of him as he cried out, "DEAN! DEAN HELP!"

He began clawing at the air and all Dean could do was stare at him and listen as Castiel screamed his name again and again. Finally something within him came out of his temporary shut down and he said softly, "Cas?"

Castiel's screams stopped for a moment, but then they were back and his teeth were rattling so violently that Dean feared he might bite off his own tongue. He took a deep breath and then he sat on the bed and took Cas in his arms, holding him against his chest. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he wasn't prepared for the force with which Castiel shoved him away or for the sudden image of Castiel's right fist coming toward him.

He was knocked off the bed as Castiel's fist hit him square in the eye and he was still seeing stars when he felt cold hands cupping his cheeks. He could hear Castiel saying, "Oh God, Dean. Dean I'm so sorry!"

Dean blinked until he could see straight again and then he noticed that large tears were spilling from Castiel's eyes. "Hey," he said, wiping them from Castiel's rough cheeks, "Hey. It's okay. I'm fine."

Castiel shook his head and sobbed, "I'm sorry."

Dean sat up quickly, ignoring the new set of stars and grabbed Castiel, pulling him close and whispering soothing words into his hair as Cas sobbed into his shoulder. He didn't care that all these tears were probably going to ruin his jacket, he just wanted them to stop. He wished he'd never let Castiel out of his sight, never let him go back to his fucking job which was the reason that he was reduced to this.

Castiel's tears stopped eventually and he went completely limp in Dean's arms. Dean was reminded of that time in the shower so many weeks ago, when Castiel had told him that he was no good, that he was nothing more than a whore and Dean had made all those empty promises. His mind wandered to Gabriel and now he really hated himself because he had promised Gabriel that he would be good to Cas, that he would protect him and now this had happened.

Castiel's breaths had evened out and Dean tried not to wake him as he carried him back onto the bed, setting him down gently and smoothing the sweat dampened hair from his forehead. He was surprised when a hand reached out and grabbed his sleeve, holding him there as he made to turn away. He didn't need to hear the word "stay" murmured from Castiel's lips for him to shrug off is jacket and slide under the covers with Castiel, pulling him close.

Castiel tucked his head under Dean's chin and Dean held him tightly, trying to blink back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He had to be strong for Cas, he had to let him know that he could do this, that he could take care of him, heal him after this fucked up thing that had happened to him.

"I'm gonna make it better, Cas," Dean whispered against his hair, "I'm gonna fix everything. Mark my words."


	6. Chapter 6

**Lot's of hurt/comfort in this chapter, and I don't know how much longer this fic is going to be. It's possible that there could be only one more chapter after this one. Thanks again to all who have reviewed and faved!**

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The next few weeks were difficult. Cas woke Dean every night with nightmares, screaming and clawing at anything near him. More than once Dean had to hold him down and scream his name till he was nearly hoarse in order to get Cas to wake and come back to him. The light was still gone from those blue eyes and Dean couldn't bring himself to look at them when Castiel turned his, more often than not, tear streaked face to look at him from where he was lying on the couch or the bed, wasting away.

During the first few days following the incident Castiel was the worst. There were numerous times when he would wander around the apartment in a sort of daze, occasionally bumping into things and looking confused as to why he had. Once Dean came back from the restroom to find Castiel staring at his hand, which was dripping blood from where he'd cut it on one of the knifes in Dean's cutlery drawer.

Pain or any other stimulus didn't seem to affect Castiel at all. He was numb to the soft touches that Dean tried to give him and he didn't move or say anything every time Dean changed the bandages on his wrists or thighs. At least Castiel was healing quickly, physically that was.

The lack of enthusiasm for practically everything was what worried Dean the most. Castiel seemed to have lost all interest in life. It was almost as if he were a walking corpse and it made Dean hurt every time Castiel would turn those dead eyes in his direction. He hadn't talked since asking Dean to stay with him that one night, and Dean desperately wanted to hear his voice again, to have Cas back and not what he'd been reduced to because of some fucking bastard in a back alley.

Dean tried not to leave his apartment, but he desperately needed to go on a grocery run or he and Castiel wouldn't have any food, not that Cas was eating much. He mostly nibbled on crackers and sipped at the soup Dean fixed him.

Castiel was seated on the couch when Dean said softly, "Cas?" Castiel turned those lifeless eyes onto him and Dean said, "I need to run to the store. I'll only be an hour. Are you gonna be okay?"

He bit his lip as he waited for Castiel to reply. He needed to get food, but he didn't want to leave Cas alone in case something happened and he couldn't take him with him. All those people and noises might cause him to have another panic attack. Sam and Jess were on vacation and there wasn't anyone else that Dean could call.

"Cas?" Dean asked, putting a hand on Castiel's shoulder, which jutted out of his thinning frame.

Castiel's mouth opened and he made a sort of squeaking noise. Dean kneeled in front of him, rubbing circles on his knees as he waited patiently to see if Cas was going to talk. Castiel's jaw worked a few times and a scratchy sound came from him and then Dean was breathing a sigh of relief as Cas said in a tiny voice, "I'll be fine."

Dean moved so that he could gather Castiel in a tight hug. He could feel how thin Castiel was getting, even through the baggy sweater he was wearing. Castiel made a snuffling noise against Dean's hair and Dean asked, "Do you want me to get you anything special?"

"No," Castiel rasped, his voice scratchy and so quiet that Dean almost couldn't hear him.

"Okay. Do you wanna watch tv or something while I'm gone?"

"No," Castiel said again.

He reached out with thin fingers to Dean, grasping the air and Dean leaned closer. He was surprised when Cas grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and pulled him in for a forceful kiss. It was deprived and sloppy, hell Castiel was practically licking Dean's face like a dog, but Dean let him. Castiel's hands scrabbled at Dean's chest, his hair, his arms, trying to find a place to rest. Dean stilled them by taking Castiel by the wrists and placing his hands so that his palms were cupping Dean's cheeks.

His fingers flexed around Dean's face and he pulled Dean closer, making a small, needy noise in the back of his throat. Dean let Castiel coax his tongue out and he moaned loudly when Castiel began sucking on his tongue. God how he'd missed this and if Castiel was kissing him like this, maybe that meant that he was getting better.

Castiel's warm mouth was suddenly gone and Dean sighed at the loss, but then Castiel's eyes were locked with his and his heart leapt because he could see life, there was a spark however small and then Castiel was whispering, "I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, baby," Dean replied.

He leaned his forehead against Castiel's and breathed deeply. This was good, Castiel was talking again and kissing him. That was very good, but something still concerned Dean. It was the way Castiel moved, how his bony hands came to clutch at the fabric of Dean's shirt, how he yanked slightly, like a child seeking reassurance. It wasn't how Cas was supposed to be. He was supposed to be strong, carefree, he was supposed to give Dean that dangerous smile, not look at him as though Dean were going to turn on him at any moment.

Dean swiped his thumbs over Castiel's cheeks and Cas keened into the touch. He kissed Dean softly again and Dean hmmed happily in response. Dean pulled away, saying, "I'm gonna go. I'll see you when I get back, okay?"

Castiel nodded and Dean let go of his face. As soon as his hands left Castiel's cheeks, Cas made a noise like a wounded animal. Dean quickly went back over to him and Castiel grabbed a tight hold of Dean's shirt. He yanked him hard and Dean fell onto the couch, sprawled over Castiel, who's breathing was near erratic.

"Whoa, Cas. Calm down," Dean said softly, trying not to crush Castiel who was fully under him.

Castiel's eyes were wide and his breaths were coming out in short frequent gasps. Dean looked worriedly around for a paper bag or something that Castiel could breathe into to stop his hyperventilating.

Dean put a hand on Castiel's chest as Castiel started gasping like a fish out of water. "Breathe!" he commanded. Castiel's wide eyes locked with Dean's and Dean said, "Castiel. Take a deep breath and fucking breathe already!"

Castiel gasped and then finally he was breathing in deeply. He let the air out with a rush, the force of it causing Dean to close his eyes. Castiel went limp under him, his hands dropping from where they had been gripping Dean's t-shirt so tightly that Dean was convinced for a moment that Castiel might actually tear the fabric.

Castiel was breathing in and out slowly now, his eyes closed. Dean pressed a kiss to his sweaty forehead and said, "I'll stay. Just don't fucking freak out on me again."

Castiel nodded mutely and surprisingly strong arms pulled Dean down on top of his body, fitting their hips together. They slotted perfectly like they used to, but Cas was so thin now. Dean could feel each bone through his clothes, the jut of his hip, the lines of his pelvis as it pressed against Dean's. The sweater had ridden down a bit and Dean could see the defined line of Castiel's collar bone pressing against his thin skin.

He couldn't stand to see Castiel like this. He wanted so bad to just take all this away and be left with his Cas again, with the eyes that could rival the ocean and that strong body that could support him. He wasn't any good at trying to help Castiel, hell all he'd ever caused in people's lives was pain. And now he'd done the same to Cas, the man that he loved.

Castiel's breathing had slowed to a steady pace and Dean watched him. His eyes were moving rapidly under his eyelids and he twitched occasionally as he slept. Dean leaned forward and kissed his slack lips. Cas went still completely and Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder, willing Cas to actually be able to sleep for more than an hour without waking up from another nightmare. He couldn't stand to see the dark circles under Castiel's eyes anymore.

Dean fell asleep as well shortly after and was woken by a loud sound. He sat up with a start, mind immediately going to Cas and the nightmare that he was most likely having, but Castiel was still sleeping soundly. Dean realized that it was his phone going off and he picked it up and peered at the unknown number.

He answered and his breath stopped as he heard the low growl of Gabriel on the other end, "What happened?"

Dean's blood was cold in his veins. He had called Gabriel a few days after he had taken Cas home from the hospital, but he'd gotten only his voicemail, so he'd left a message. But he wasn't nearly prepared to actually talk to Gabriel about it.

He took a deep breath and said slowly, "I wasn't there. It was when Cas was coming back from work."

There was silence on the other end for a bit and then Gabriel's voice came again and Dean swore somebody had just dropped an icicle down his shirt.

"Why weren't you with him?" Dean's lip quavered and he was about to say that he didn't ever take Castiel back from work when Gabriel screamed, "YOU'RE A FUCKING BASTARD, DEAN WINCHESTER. THAT'S MY BABY BROTHER. I TOLD YOU TO TREAT HIM RIGHT, NOT LET HIM GET FUCKING RAPED IN A FUCKING BACK ALLEY YOU PIECE OF SHIT."

Dean nearly dropped his phone and his whole body was ringing from the force of Gabriel's words. He felt as though Gabriel had just stabbed him in the gut and he had to get off of Cas slowly to carry on the conversation in a different room lest Gabriel's shouting wake up Castiel who was actually sleeping for once.

Gabriel's yelling started up again as soon as Dean left the room, "ARE YOU STILL LISTENING DEAN WINCHESTER? CASUE IF YOU THINK I'M FUCKING DONE WITH YOU YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING YOU FUCKER."

"Dammit, Gabriel!" Dean yelled, "Shut the hell up!"

He was so angry now. Gabriel had no right to be shouting at him like this and he growled into the phone, "I wasn't fucking there, okay Gabriel? I was here at my apartment and you can bet your ass that if I had been there the guy who did it would be six feet under right now. So don't you say to me that I let Cas down because I don't wanna hear it. I love Cas and it's bad enough that I have to watch him refuse to eat so I don't need you getting on my ass about it as well."

Gabriel was silent for a moment and then there he said in a tone that Dean didn't expect, "Take care of him. He better be smiling when I see him in a week, you go that, Winchester?"

Dean gulped and said, "I'll try."

"No," Gabriel hissed, "Don't_ try_. You fucking make sure he's happy again."

"I'm doing the best I can!" Dean yelled.

He fought the urge to throw the phone against the wall. Tears were pricking at his eyes and he just wanted to go back to the couch and fall into Castiel's arms, to feel the strength in his grip again. He wanted to fix everything.

"I..." he choked into the phone, "I'm gonna fix him."

There was silence and then Gabriel said softly, "You better."

The click of Gabriel hanging up made Dean flinch. He stood there for a few moments, willing the tears not to fall from his eyes, but they did anyway. He quietly let them seep into the carpet as his hands began to shake, the phone falling from his grip.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't go back to where Cas lay broken on the couch. He couldn't even look at him. He had broken Cas just like he breaks everything else. It was a curse and now Castiel had suffered because he wasn't there for him.

The sound of Castiel snuffling awake brought Dean back to the couch. Castiel looked up at him with dull eyes and Dean took the hand that he extended. He brought Castiel's fingers to his mouth, kissing along each one and saying, "I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry."

Castiel's hand came to cup Dean's face as Dean kneeled in front of the couch. The tears were still falling from Dean's eyes and Castiel's thumbs brushed them away. There was something stronger in his touch and Dean let him place his fingers under his chin and bring his face up to look at Castiel's.

The bags under Castiel's eyes made Dean's stomach churn, but Castiel held him resolutely as he said, "Go to the store, Dean. I'll be fine."

Dean shook his head. "No. I'm staying here. I can get Sam to go or Bobby or-"

He was silenced as Castiel put a finger to his lips. "It's okay. Just go."

Dean locked his eyes with the faded blue of Castiel's and he couldn't bring himself to do anything but let his head fall into Castiel's lap. His tears fell onto the sweats Cas was wearing and he could feel Castiel's fingers carding through the hair at the back of his neck. At least Castiel was talking again, and he seemed to have more energy, but it still wasn't right. The life was still gone from his eyes and Dean hated everything because of it.

"Hey," Castiel said, gripping Dean's shoulders. "Dean? Dean stop."

Castiel's palms gripped the sides of Dean's face and he yanked it up so that Dean was forced to look at him again. Dean didn't respond and Castiel traced Dean's bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean's forehead. Dean keened into the touch and Castiel proceeded to kiss each of Dean's eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, and finally, ever so softly, his lips.

He whispered softly, "It's not your fault, Dean. Don't listen to Gabriel."

Dean pulled back. "Wait. You were awake?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "Gabriel can yell loud enough to wake up the dead. But it's all hot air and you need to know that you're not to blame for my... for what happened."

Castiel's hands shook a bit and his eyes darted off to the side. Dean could tell that he was remembering and he moved so that he could gather Castiel in a hug, saying, "Don't think about it. It's over. You're fine. I've got you."

Castiel sighed and melted into Dean's embrace. "I know," he said softly. He pulled away from the hug and said, "Now go to the store."

"Promise me you'll still be here when I get back?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. "Of course."

He gave Dean a weak smile and Dean leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the side of Castiel's mouth before he got up and retrieved his keys. He grabbed his wallet and stuffed it in his back pocket, watching Cas all the while as he headed toward the door. Castiel was just sitting on the couch, resting his hands over is stomach and breathing slowly. Leaving Cas alone was the last thing Dean wanted to do. Castiel might be doing better, but who was to say that Cas wasn't going to hurt himself again?

As if he read his mind, Castiel threw Dean a look and said, "Just go, Dean!"

"Okay, okay," Dean replied.

He slinked out of the apartment, shutting the door quietly and then practically ran down the stairs to the Impala. It was the quickest shopping trip he'd ever completed and he had no idea how he managed to get everything he needed. He dropped a can of beans, but he let it roll away down the parking lot as he revved up baby.

When he shouldered the door open he prepared himself for the worst, but instead he found Castiel casually reading a book in the bedroom. Dean sighed in relief and set the groceries on the counter. He quickly put away the frozen foods and then went into the bedroom.

Castiel gave him a smile and patted the bed in invitation. Dean could barely contain the smile that stretched across his face as he hurried over to the bed. He toed off his boots and crawled up the mattress so that he could lay down next to Castiel.

Castiel put his book down in favor of grabbing Dean's hand instead. He gripped it tightly, and then kissed each of Dean's knuckles. Dean let out another relieved sigh. This was good, this was more like the Cas he knew.

He put his hand under Castiel's chin and raised his head so that he could kiss him soft and long. When Castiel deepened the kiss, Dean let him. It remained just lips however and Dean didn't try to force Castiel to give him more. Hell he didn't even want more, he just wanted this, Castiel's hands resting on his shoulders while Dean's were wound around Castiel's waist.

Castiel pulled away first and asked, "Did you get everything at the store?"

Dean nodded. "Did you want me to make you something?"

"Sure," Castiel replied, his fingers absently stroking the bit of skin that was bared by the undone first button of Dean's shirt.

"Anything in particular?" Dean whispered against Castiel's cheek.

"A sandwich is fine."

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek. "Mmkay. Gimmie a sec."

He slid off the bed and scurried into the kitchen as Castiel half heartedly picked up his book again. He was nearly finished with it, and by the time Dean came back he was closing the cover. Dean handed him a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it, which was Castiel's favorite.

Castiel took the sandwich with a smile and took a bite. Now he was eating again, which meant he was well on the road to recovery. Dean slumped down on the bed next to him and closed his eyes. This was good, Cas was eating again and talking and reading. He was going to get better, things were going to go back to normal.

Castiel nudged Dean's leg with his sock. "Can you get me a glass of milk?"

Dean got up. "Sure, baby."

He returned to the bedroom and handed the milk to Cas, who downed it in one gulp and then handed the empty plate and glass to Dean. Dean set them on the bedside table and pulled Castiel in for a kiss. He could taste the peanut butter on his lips and he snuck his tongue out to brush against the seam of Castiel's lips. Castiel opened imminently for him and Dean swept his tongue around, breathing in the scent of Cas mixed with the peanut butter.

A tiny moan escaped Castiel and Dean pulled back immediately. Castiel gave him a confused look and he explained, "I don't want to rush things. We'll wait until you're feeling 100% again, okay?"

Castiel pursed his lips but then replied, "Okay, but you're sleeping here and without this."

He pulled Dean's shirt over his head and then his own. He yanked Dean on top of him and Dean had to stifle the little moan of appreciation, because he'd forgotten how warm and amazing Castiel was. Dean nuzzled into the dip of Castiel's neck. Castiel hummed and pressed a kiss to Dean's hair. Dean pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's bicep and then to the new scars that lined his wrists.

Castiel flinched slightly as Dean's lips touched the marred flesh and Dean quickly pulled back. He looked at Castiel to make sure he was okay and Castiel shook his head. "I'm fine. It's okay." He took a deep breath and then said, "Actually could you do that again?" Dean's brow furrowed and Castiel said breathily, "Just kiss me please. I want... I want to feel you against me."

Dean hesitantly pressed his lips to the scars again and then to the palm of Castiel's hand. Cas relaxed and Dean trailed his lips down Castiel's stomach. He didn't want to push Castiel, but if this was what Cas wanted then he was going to give it to him. He remembered how much Castiel had craved Dean's mouth earlier, kissing him like he was a dying man. Maybe this was just part of Castiel healing. They did say that human touch helped or whatever.

Dean neared Castiel's lower abdomen and he was surprised when Castiel's hands came out of nowhere and yanked off the sweatpants, which had nothing underneath them. Dean glanced down at Castiel's dick and then back up at Cas in a silent question for how far Cas wanted him to go.

"Just touch me," Castiel commanded.

Dean worried his bottom lip and he knew that this was still too soon, that Cas still wasn't himself. But Cas was looking at Dean intently, his breath coming out in short bursts. Dean took a deep breath himself and then lowered his lips to the healing flesh of Castiel's inner thigh. The cuts had scabbed up nicely, although there was one that would definitely leave an ugly scar.

Dean gave that one a particularly gentle kiss and then moved to kiss his way up the shaft of Castiel's cock, which had hardened during the other kisses. Castiel made a small noise in the back of his throat and his hands scrabbled against the sheets. Dean watched him carefully as he teased the head of Castiel's cock with his tongue. Cas arched up from the bed with an anguished cry and Dean pulled away.

"No!" Castiel screamed as Dean made to sit up again. Dean stopped and Castiel practically sobbed, "Dean please. Dean just_ please_!"

The "please" was ripped from Castiel's throat and Dean's mouth went dry. There was something off about the whole thing, but Castiel was pleading with Dean now, his hips circling a bit. Dean placed his hands on the outsides of Castiel's thighs and said, "I'm gonna go slow, okay?"

Castiel nodded and then threw his head back as Dean deep throated him in a single movement. Dean took his time, licking his way around Castiel's cock and listening for any other sounds besides moans or groans that might signal that Castiel had changed his mind although Castiel didn't make any noises aside from the occasional groan or Dean's name.

Dean was practically ecstatic that they were doing this again, but he still felt like Castiel wasn't completely himself. They way he bucked up and the noises he made were all too desperate, as though he was trying to get as much as he could before something happened.

Castiel suddenly came in hot spurts and Dean nearly choked. Shit he should have been prepared. He swallowed it all down and then pulled away and kissed his way back up Castiel's limp body. Castiel looked as though he'd fallen asleep, but he responded when Dean's lips met his.

"Love you," Castiel slurred against Dean's mouth.

"I know, baby," Dean whispered, lying down and pulling Castiel against him.

Cas was asleep the moment Dean's arms wound around him. Dean closed his eyes and ran his fingers through Castiel's hair as he thought. Things were apparently getting better as evidenced by what had just happened, but Dean knew that it was still going to take a bit more time for Cas to be himself again. Dean just hoped that Cas really was recovering and that this wasn't some temporary high before he went back to not eating.

Castiel pressed closer to Dean in his sleep and Dean turned off the light, plunging the room into darkness. He let go of Castiel momentarily so that he could take off his jeans, and then he pulled Castiel's sweats back up his legs before pulling the sheets over both of them.

Castiel's breathing was unsteady for the briefest of seconds and then it evened out again. Dean sighed and let his chin rest on the top of Castiel's head. He drifted off sometime afterword, but woke a few hours later to a cold bed and the sound of Castiel retching in the bathroom.

He sprinted to the bathroom to find Castiel hunched over the toilet, his back sweaty as his body convulsed. "Dammit," Dean said, searching for a towel.

Upon finding one, he put it under the cold spray of the faucet and dabbed at the back of Castiel's neck. Cas heaved into the toilet once more and then his body went limp, his forehead resting against the porcelain.

"You good?" Dean asked softly and Castiel nodded weakly.

Dean bent down and tilted Castiel's head up so that he could wipe the sick off with a washcloth. He then sat down and guided Cas so that he was lying in the V of his legs. Castiel was shaking violently, his teeth chattering and Dean pressed another wet towel to his forehead.

"Couldn't stomach the sandwich, I guess," Castiel rasped.

"Shh," Dean scolded, "Just rest."

Castiel sighed and relaxed against Dean. He let Dean sponge the cool towel over his shivering body. When his breathing had returned to normal and after he had informed Dean that his stomach was at ease again, he let Dean lead him back to the bed and set him gingerly on the sheets. Dean left and then returned with Gatorade and a few crackers, which he set on the bedside table.

"We'll wait a few minutes," Dean said, sitting next to Castiel, "And then you can try to keep this down."

"Sounds good," Castiel replied weakly, his eyes already starting to close. He sighed. "Guess I wasn't quite ready for so much activity."

Dean took his hand. "We're gonna take things slow again, okay? You just do what you feel up to."

Castiel's brow furrowed and he said, "But it's not like I have the flu or anything." He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "I made a mistake and now I'm a fucking invalid and you're so good to me."

"Stop that," Dean commanded, pulling Castiel's hands down, "I don't mind."

He kissed Castiel on the cheek and Castiel made to speak again but Dean shook his head. "Don't talk. Just rest."

Castiel went silent and they spent a few minutes just sitting there before Castiel gingerly picked up one of the crackers. He nibbled on it and then took a small sip of the Gatorade. Dean watched him carefully and then relaxed when Castiel did, lying back against the pillow and closing his eyes. He fell asleep shortly after that and Dean stayed up for another few minutes to make sure that Castiel wasn't going to wake up sick again, and then he let his eyes close.

Dean woke the next morning to find that Castiel had moved so that he was teetering on the edge of the bed, one arm and leg dangling off it. Dean stood up and carefully arranged him so he wouldn't fall off. Cas sighed and burrowed into the pillows. Dean brushed the hair out of his eyes and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before going to make some breakfast for himself.

He tried to be as quite as possible as he mulled about the kitchen. He hummed the Bon Jovi song that had been stuck in his head since yesterday. Pancakes were always something that he could make without really thinking about it. They gave him time to think about Cas and what was going on.

Cas seemed to be recovering, but Dean could still see that hollowness in his eyes and it hurt. He didn't know what would happen when he had to go back to work and leave Cas alone for hours on end. There was no way he was letting Cas go back to his job, not after what had happened. He was going to have a long discussion with him about finding different work.

In a perfect world, Dean would be able to send Cas to college and Cas would be able to get a job teaching like he wanted. But there was no way that was going to happen unless Dean took on three extra jobs and stumbled across twenty thousand dollars in the street. The best he could hope for right now, was taking extra hours at Bobby's and maybe finding another job.

He tapped his fingers on the kitchen counter as he tried to think of various places that might be hiring. Ellen might have an opening at the Roadhouse and serving drinks to bikers was definitely something he could do.

He shoveled the finished pancakes onto a plate and set them on the table before pulling out his cell and dialing Ellen.

"Dean, sweetheart," Ellen said upon answering, "Where you been, boy?"

"Hey, Ellen," Dean replied, trying to sound cheerful.

It didn't work and Ellen said, "What's wrong, darlin'? Everything okay with you and that brother of yours?"

"Yeah, Sam's fine."

"I heard he's expecting a little one. That true?"

"Sure is." Dean took a breath. "I'm actually calling to see if you had any job openings."

Ellen was quiet for a moment and then she asked, "Why are you lookin' for a second job?"

Dean worried his lip. He hadn't told Ellen about Cas. Ellen was like a mother to him, but they rarely talked anymore. Dean wasn't ten and the Roadhouse was a bit out of his way to go and pay her a visit. Sam tried to keep her and Jo up to date on what was going on, but Sam was busy with Jess now.

Dean cleared his throat. "It's sorta complicated, but I've got someone that I gotta support now and I need the extra cash."

"This some girl you haven't told me about?" Ellen snapped.

"No. _He's_ not. His name's Cas and we've been together for about half a year now."

"And is there a reason you need to work for both of you?"

Dean swallowed. "Yeah. He got in an accident a few weeks ago."

Ellen gasped. "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," Dean breathed, "He's okay, but he's not going to be able to go back to work for a while, so I thought that..."

"I understand," Ellen said as Dean trailed off, his voice breaking a bit, "You just tell me your schedule and I'll see where I can fit you in."

"Thanks Ellen," Dean sighed, "You're a lifesaver."

"You just give your boy a hug for me, okay?"

"Will do. Thanks again."

Dean told Ellen what hours he was working at Bobby's and Ellen gave him some shifts at the Roadhouse that he could take. They were all late, till three in the morning even, but Dean wasn't about to complain. They were money that he needed with Cas out of the work circle.

He ate his pancakes quickly, not even bothering to put syrup on them because he didn't much care. Nothing has tasted right lately, but he knew that he needed to stay strong for Cas, and not eating wouldn't help that. He did the dishes without even thinking about it and then he went over to take care of the pile of Cas's clothing that was by the couch.

Cas had shucked off his jeans and socks when he had first come back from the hospital and Dean had never gotten around to cleaning them up. He picked up the socks and tossed them onto the couch and then set about right siding the jeans. He was in the process of pulling the left leg right side out when something fell out of one of the pockets.

It dropped onto the carpet and Dean set the jeans aside so he could pick it up. It was a round band of metal, silver and beautiful, polished to a shine. Dean squinted at it for a second and then his heart dropped in his chest because it looked like a wedding ring. Cas had a wedding ring in his pocket.

He stood up on shaky legs, the ring held in the palm of his hand, cool against his warm skin. He looked toward the bedroom. Cas was still sleeping and Dean didn't want to wake him, but the ring was burning into his palm. If it was for him than that meant that Cas was going to propose. He was going to ask Dean to marry him and Dean would have said yes in a heartbeat.

He closed his fingers around the ring and sat down on the couch. Everything was so fucked up and now there had to be this. He desperately just wanted to get it over with and ask Cas, but another part of him didn't want to know. Another part was scared that maybe the ring wasn't for him. Maybe it was a gift for one of Cas's family or just one of Cas's rings, even though Dean had never seen any rings on those long fingers of his.

There was a sound from the bedroom and Dean stood up and walked over to it quickly. Castiel was stirring awake. He yawned widely and then blinked blearily at Dean. Castiel gave Dean a small smile and Dean found that his legs were carrying him over to the bed and he clutched the ring tightly. He sat down slowly and locked eyes with Castiel. He held out his hand, palm up so that Castiel could see the silver band.

Castiel squinted down at Dean's hand and then his eyes went wide. He snatched the ring away with more speed than Dean would have given him credit for. He was breathing fast and Dean put a hand on his shoulder.

"Cas?" he said softly. Castiel avoided Dean's eyes and Dean reached a hand out to him. He cupped his cheek and angled Castiel's chin toward him as he said, "Cas tell me."

"It's for you," Castiel replied, his voice so quiet that Dean almost didn't hear him.

When the words finally registered with Dean, Castiel was saying quickly, "I was going to ask you to marry me that night when I..."

Castiel trailed off and held the ring closer to his chest, shaking slightly. Dean put his hands over Castiel's and leaned in to kiss him softly. Castiel leaned into the kiss and Dean could feel the tiny tremors that were shaking Cas.

Dean pulled away and placed his hands on either side of Castiel's head. He stroked his thumbs over Castiel's sharp cheekbones and said softly, "The answer's yes, Cas."

Castiel's eyes went wide and his mouth opened and closed a few times but no words came out. Instead he took Dean's hand in his and pressed the ring into his hand. Dean took it out of his palm and slipped it on the ring finger of his right hand. It fit perfectly and he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face.

Castiel's hands grabbed his and he examined Dean's fingers, reverently running his own fingers over the band. He leaned up to give Dean a quick kiss and Dean heard him whisper, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby," Dean said, kissing Cas again.

Castiel smiled into the kiss and pretty soon he was crawling into Dean's lap as Dean's tongue came out to tease at Castiel's lips. Cas let Dean's tongue in and Dean drew Castiel's own tongue into his mouth. He spent several minutes sucking on it before he remembered that they were supposed to be taking things slowly. Reluctantly he pulled away, hating the little disappointed sound that Castiel made in the back of his throat at the loss of Dean's lips.

"Slow, remember?" Dean told him. He gave Castiel a kiss on the forehead and then asked, "Want me to make you some breakfast?"

Castiel nodded. "Something easy though and then I want to just lay here with you."

"Okay. Sounds good. Back in a sec."

He got up and went to make Castiel some toast. As he worked his eyes kept darting to the ring around his finger. Every time he looked at it he got a giddy feeling. Castiel was_, had_, asked him to marry him and now they were engaged, actually fucking engaged and it was the best thing in the world. Cas was going to get better, everything was going to get better and then they were going to have a wedding and go to Disneyland.

He hummed to himself as he brought the toast into the bedroom. He handed the plate to Castiel, who took it gingerly. Dean situated himself next to Cas on the bed, stretching out and lying his head back on the pillows as Castiel ate slowly.

Castiel nudged Dean and Dean opened an eye to see Cas pointing at the Gatorade bottle. He lifted himself up enough so that he could pour Castiel a glass, which Cas sipped at slowly while he nibbled at his toast.

They did that for several minutes and then Castiel set the plate on the bedside table and laid down next to Dean. He reached out and Dean let their fingers intertwine. Castiel brought Dean's hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. Dean smiled and squeezed Castiel's hand.

He inched closer to Cas so that he could whisper, "I'm gonna get you a ring. You got a preference?"

Castiel shook his head the motion making his hair tickle Dean's chin from where he was resting his head on Dean's chest. "Simple is fine. It doesn't have to be expensive or anything."

"You sure? Cause I was thinking diamonds and rubies embedded in gold."

Castiel chuckled and moved so that he could kiss Dean. Dean hmmed against his mouth and placed his free hand on Castiel's side, rubbing his thumb along the jut of Castiel's hip. Castiel's tongue slipped into Dean's mouth and Dean let Cas run it along his teeth. They both pulled apart shortly afterward and Dean leaned his forehead against Castiel's their breath mingling.

Dean scrunched his nose. "Dammit, Cas you need to brush your teeth. And when was the last time you showered?"

Castiel looked down at himself. "I don't remember."

"Well then you are definitely showering today. Come on."

He hopped off the bed and grabbed Castiel by the hand. Castiel let him lead him into the bathroom. He sat on the toilet while Dean warmed up the water, calling over to Cas as he did so, "You feel nauseous or bad in anyway, and you let me know, okay?"

Castiel nodded and then began methodically stripping his clothes off. He stepped closer to the shower and said, "Could you come in with me?"

"Yeah, sure," Dean replied.

He took off his clothes as well and slipped in the shower after Castiel. The water felt good and he shut the door before letting it run down his face. Castiel was just standing under the spray, his head tilted back slightly, the water droplets clinging to his eyelashes as he pulled back to let it run down his neck.

Dean grabbed a bottle of body soap, asking, "Do you want me to..."

"Yes," Castiel replied.

He leaned back against Dean's chest and Dean pressed light kisses along Castiel's neck. He filled his hands with the liquid soap and worked it into a lather, which he then massaged into Castiel's hair. He slicked the strands up and then leaned Castiel's head into the flow of the water. The soap ran down their bodies and Dean got another handful, scrubbing it over Castiel's thin frame.

Castiel lifted his arms so that Dean could get his armpits an sides. Dean let the water wash the soap off as he moved to Castiel's lower body. Castiel jerked a bit as Dean soaped up his thighs, but he spread them at Dean's urging, letting Dean clean the flaking scabbing.

Dean moved Castiel to stand under the spray of the water again, checking to make sure that all the soap washed down the drain. He wiped the water out of Castiel's eyes and then kissed each of his eyelids softly. Castiel sighed quietly and gripped Dean's arms tightly before rubbing circles over his forearms.

Dean opened the door and helped Castiel out of the shower. He toweled him off and then pointed toward the sink. "Brush your teeth. I'm gonna go get you some clean clothes."

Castiel nodded and then grabbed his toothbrush from where he had put it the first night he had stayed over at Dean's. Dean left him to the task of scrubbing at his teeth and tongue while he went to root through his clothes for something comfortable to give to Cas. He found the ugliest sweater in the bottom of one drawer. He didn't even know he had it, but it was soft as hell, and he knew that Cas liked sweaters, so he slung it over his arm along with a pair of black sweats.

He handed both of them to Castiel as he came out of the bathroom and Cas gave a small smile at the sweater. He pulled it over his head after putting on a pair of Dean's boxers and the pants. The sweater was much too baggy, but he looked down fondly at it, playing with its hem, which was fraying slightly.

"Sorry," Dean said, looking at the sweater.

"It's fine," Castiel told him.

He stepped forward and looped his arms around Dean's neck, kissing him softly. Cas tasted like toothpaste, minty and fresh. Dean would much rather have Cas's own taste on his tongue, but he wasn't complaining. He steered them so that they fell onto the bed. Castiel snuggled into his side and sighed happily. His eyes drooped and Dean began massaging circles over his back and shoulders until Castiel was completely relaxed against him.

Castiel was just drifting off when Dean's phone went off from the kitchen. He sighed and got up to go grab it. It was Sam and Dean picked up with a, "Yeah?"

"Hey." Sam sounded tired, but Dean knew that it was nothing compared to what he must sound like.

Sam continued, "Jess and I were wondering if we could come by. She made a casserole."

Dean chuckled. "You're gonna bring us a fucking casserole?"

"Yeah I am, as long as Cas is up to having company."

Dean peered into the bedroom where Castiel was sprawled out over the bed, breathing steady. "He's sleeping right now, but I think it'd be okay if you guys came over later tonight."

"Sounds good. Anything else you want me to bring?"

"Nah," Dean said, "I went to the store yesterday and stocked up, so we're good."

"Great. And Cas is...?"

Sam left the question hanging and Dean said, "He's doing better. Finally got him to eat again and he's talking, so I mean, ya know."

He went quiet and Sam said, "He'll be back to himself before you know it."

"I sure as hell hope so," Dean breathed.

"See you tonight then?"

"Yeah. I'll text you with a time."

Sam hung up and Dean did the same. He put the phone back on the counter and then went into the bedroom. Castiel stirred as he sat down next to him and he turned his sleepy eyes onto Dean. Dean brushed the hair out of his eyes .

"Sam and Jess wanna come by tonight," he said. Castiel's brow furrowed and Dean continued, "They just want to bring a casserole and check up on you. That okay?"

Castiel licked his lips and then nodded. "I can't say I'll be much fun to be around."

"You don't have to entertain anyone," Dean told him, pressing a kiss to Castiel's forehead. "All you have to do is just keep resting and recovering."

Castiel nodded and then he took a deep breath and stood up. Dean watched as he stretched a few times and then he went out of the bedroom and into the living room. Dean followed and Castiel bent down to pick up his jeans. He pulled off the sweats and then put the jeans on. He smoothed out the sweater and then turned to Dean.

"Do I look absolutely horrid?" Castiel asked.

Dean shook his head and went to grab Castiel's hands. "You look fine."

He pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek and a smile spread across his face as he noticed that Castiel's eyes had a bit more spark in them when Castiel returned the smile, even if it was a small one.


	7. Chapter 7

**Last chapter! Thanks to all who reviewed and faved this story! I'll be putting up another fic soon that will probably be longer than this one, but mostly fluff instead of angst if you guys want more Destiel goodness! Sorry if this ends kinda abruptly, and I think I have the longest sentence ever at one point. **

**Thanks again! Hope you guys like it!**

* * *

Cas slept until the first knock of Sam's knuckles sounded on the door. Dean answered it, letting Sam and Jess into the apartment with a forced smile. Sam returned it and made room for Jess, who was carrying a large casserole. Cas was still in the bedroom and neither Sam or Jess asked where he was. They just made their way into the sitting room after putting he casserole on the counter.

Dean lingered by the doorway of his bedroom, not sure if he was supposed to go in and get Cas or just wait until he came out. The decision was settled when Cas emerged from the door, clutching a book to his chest and sporting a slightly dazed look.

Dean took his hand as soon as Cas set the book on the counter next to the casserole. Castiel gripped Dean's fingers tightly as he went to face Sam and Jess's smiling faces. Sam stood up and hesitantly inched toward Cas, glancing quickly at Dean to see whether Cas was going to jump him if he got too close.

Something burned in Dean, at that Sam thought that Cas was something that might go off it he got within firing distance. Cas wasn't a frightened animal or whatever. He was Cas and Dean didn't want Sam treating him like he might explode if he was so much as touched.

Dean had never been more grateful for Jess when she got up from the couch and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. Castiel tensed up briefly, but then he relaxed into Jess, burying his nose in her hair and gripping her tightly.

When she pulled away she said softly, "Hey, Cas." Her eyes crinkled when she smiled at him. "How are you doing?"

"Better," Castiel replied, smiling wider.

Sam pulled Castiel in for a hug and Castiel hugged him back tighter than he had Jess, then he went to sit down in one of the chairs that sat across the couch, saying, "Please sit."

Sam and Jess sat on the couch and Dean padded his way over to stand behind the chair Cas was in. It was too quiet for his liking, although Cas seemed pretty at ease with just sitting there and watching Sam and Jess, who were both tapping their fingers on their knees.

"Well this is awkward," Dean mumbled, before he realized that he'd said it out loud.

To his surprise, Castiel let out a bark of laughter and turned his face upward so he could look at Dean. There was more light in his eyes and it made Dean grin like a fucking idiot. Without thinking he bent down to place a kiss on the tip of Castiel's nose, noting the little sigh he got in return. He would have gladly climbed into the chair and onto Castiel's lap, but Sam coughed, reminding him that his brother and his sister-in-law were both watching him nuzzle his boyfriend, who was grinning up at him with a genuine smile that made Dean's insides flutter like someone had released a bunch of butterflies in his stomach.

Dean settled for just holding Castiel's hand instead, so that their intertwined fingers were resting on Castiel's shoulder as Castiel turned to address Sam and Jess, "How are you two doing?"

"We're fine," Sam replied.

"Everything's going well with the baby?" Dean asked, absently stroking his thumb over Castiel's as his eyes flicked to Jess.

Sam nodded enthusiastically and Jess made a face before looking down at her stomach and saying, "Don't tell me I'm showing already."

Sam laughed and took Jess's hand in his, whispering something into her hair, which earned him a smack on the knee and a giggle from Jess. Dean looked down at Cas as he watched Sam and Jess. He was still smiling and it made Dean smile as well. Cas was doing such a good job, hell he was doing fucking great for having thrown up just the other night.

There was another brief silence and then Dean noticed that Sam's eyes were focused on the chair that Cas was in, specifically on Dean's hand. Dean's eyes darted down to his and Cas's fingers and oh, the wedding ring.

Dean instinctively raised his other hand to cover the band, covering Cas's fingers as well. Castiel looked up at him with confusion and Dean's eyes flitted back to Sam who was smiling knowingly. Jess crossed her arms, tapping her fingers against her forearm as she said, "Okay, what's going on?"

Sam didn't answer her, instead he just crossed his own arms, gave Dean a pointed look and said, "Is there a little announcement you'd like to make Dean?"

Dean licked his lips and looked down at Cas, who was watching Sam with confusion. He shouldn't feel so nervous about this. He was so fucking happy that he was engaged to Cas, but he didn't want Sam to know for some reason. This was a special thing between him and Cas and after all the shit that had happened in the past weeks he just wanted to have this, to have the knowledge that he and Cas were going to have that happy ending after all.

Castiel's grip tightened on his hand and Dean could see recognition in his face. Castiel gave Dean a small smile before turning to Sam and Jess and saying, "Dean and I are engaged."

Jess's eyes went wide and Sam just smiled smugly while she said, "That's, oh that's great! When?"

"Last night," Dean answered, moving his hand so that he could finger the ring.

Jess's face split into a wide smile and she asked, "Have you guys picked out a date yet?"

"Not yet," Castiel answered, shaking his head slightly. He tapped his free hand against his pants. "Although I have a feeling it will be a ways down the road what with me still... recovering."

"You look great to me," Sam commented, giving Castiel a genuine smile.

Castiel's shrugged and leaned back in the chair a bit more, resting his cheek against his and Dean's fingers. Dean brushed his thumb against the hollow of Castiel's cheek, which was smooth thanks to his shave earlier. Dean preferred the light dusting of stubble that usually littered Castiel's cheeks, but he wasn't complaining, especially not when Castiel keened into the touch like a cat, nuzzling against Dean's fingers as Sam and Jess began talking about honeymoon destinations that would be great for Dean and Cas.

Dean leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Castiel's head as Jess began talking animatedly about France as a good place to go. Cas just shook his head in response and said, "We've already decided that we're going to Disneyland."

Sam snorted. "Disneyland?"

"Yeah, Disneyland," Dean retorted, "Gotta problem with that?"

Sam put his hands up and Dean heard Castiel stifle what sounded like a laugh before he pressed his lips to Dean's fingers and then said to Sam and Jess, "Do you want anything? Water?" He looked up at Dean. "Are there a few beers in the fridge?"

Dean nodded and then looked at Sam and Jess. "Want me to get you guys some?"

"I'll take one," Sam said.

"And water for me," Jess told Dean. She got up. "But I can get them. You just rest, okay Dean?"

Dean lowered his eyebrows, but Jess put a hand on his chest and practically pushed him down onto the chair that Castiel was sitting on, which was easily big enough for two if you squeezed. Dean opened his mouth to tell her that he could get the drinks, but she shushed him and he gave up, slumping down against Cas as it suddenly hit him how tired he actually was.

Castiel's arms came to wind around him and Dean pressed closer to him. He was surprised when Cas squeezed him tightly and then rested his chin on Dean's head. He hadn't expected that kind of strength in Castiel's limbs. It seemed that Castiel was getting better by the minute and Dean hoped that it wasn't a show he was putting on for Sam and Jess.

Sam excused himself shortly after Jess left, stating that he was gonna go warm up some of the casserole and bring Dean and Cas some. Dean watched him go into the kitchen and then he turned to face Cas. He pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's lower lip and whispered, "You doing okay?"

Castiel nodded. He leaned his forehead against Dean's. "I'm still tired, but I really am feeling better."

"Thank God," Dean breathed.

He pulled Cas in for a kiss that quickly escalated into Dean trying to work his tongue as far down Castiel's throat as it could go. He knew that he'd said they should take it slow, but he wanted to be back in their old routine, wanted Cas to flip him over the arm of the chair and fuck his brains out. But he knew it was still way too soon for that, but French kissing like porn stars was a good start.

Dean pulled back so that Cas could take a deep breath of air before capturing Dean's lips again. They broke apart quickly though when Jess came back into the room, carrying two beers and a glass of water. She offered the beers to Dean and Cas. Dean took one, but Cas shook his head saying he wasn't thirsty.

Dean took a long sip of his beer, swallowing and gritting his teeth as the liquid went down. He hadn't had a beer in what seemed like forever, which was surprising. When problems arose he usually coped with alcohol, but the entire time he'd been caring for Cas he hadn't even entertained the idea of grabbing a bottle of Jack to wash away the pain of watching Cas not eat.

His entire thought process through the last week had been Cas. Make sure Cas is sleeping, make sure he eats, make sure he's still breathing when you wake up. It'd been fucking hard and now he realized that he was so exhausted that he didn't even know how he was keeping his eyes open.

The beer had put him into a sleepy state and his head lolled against Castiel's shoulder as Sam came back into the room toting plates piled high with macaroni casserole. He handed one to Castiel, who grabbed it and began shoveling it into his mouth, much to Dean's surprise. Dean lifted his head and whispered into Castiel's ear, "Don't go too fast, remember?"

"I'm hungry," Castiel replied through a mouthful of macaroni.

Dean grinned and kissed the underside of Castiel's jaw before snuggling against him again while Cas continued stuffing his gullet. Dean just hoped that he wouldn't be flushing macaroni down the toilet later that night.

A fork piled high with macaroni appeared in front of his face and Castiel's rough voice asked, "Did you want some? It's really great by the way, Jess."

Jess beamed and smiled into her water glass at the compliment and Dean's smile grew wider. He leaned forward and took the bite of casserole from the fork, chewing contemplated and yeah, it really was great. He smacked his lips in appreciation and told Jess so. Jess smiled broadly.

They made small talk while they finished their casserole and then Sam and Jess made to leave. While Jess was giving Castiel the recipe for the casserole, Sam pulled Dean aside and said quietly, "So Ellen called me." Dean's jaw clenched and Sam continued, "She told me that you're gonna be working hours at the Roadhouse."

"So what if I am?" Dean retorted, suddenly defensive.

Sam put his hands up. "I'm not saying that you shouldn't, Dean!" He put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "I know why you're doing it, and I'm glad that Cas is getting better, but just don't overdo it, okay?"

"I know what I'm doing, Sammy," Dean growled, "I can take care of myself."

"I'm not saying you can't," Sam said quickly, "I'm just saying that I don't want to get a call that you've keeled over on the way home from Bobby's due to exhaustion."

"That's not gonna happen."

Sam sighed. "Just promise me that you'll keep your health in mind as well as Cas's, okay?"

Dean looked over to where Cas and Jess were talking and smiling. Cas was doing so much better, but he knew that that didn't mean that things were going to get better. Money was going to be a problem and Dean was already fucking tuckered out, but he wasn't about to tell Sam that.

He just nodded and said, "I'll be fine."

Sam gave him an unconvinced look, and then went over to take Jess's hand. They both said goodbye and hugs were given again and then the door clicked shut behind him. Castiel sighed heavily and practically fell into Dean's arms when he padded over to him.

"Tired?" Dean asked, his lips in Castiel's hair.

Cas nodded and asked, "What were you and Sam taking about?"

"Nothing," Dean said quickly. He wasn't ready to tell Cas that he wasn't going to let him go back to work and that he'd be taking on another job because of it.

Castiel seemed to have different ideas as he pulled away so he could look Dean in the eye and say, "Tell me, Dean. I have a feeling it wasn't nothing." Dean bit his bottom lip and shook his head. "Dean," Castiel warned.

Dean took a deep breath and finally said, "I took on a few hours at my friend's bar. It's nothing too strenuous, but I know you're not going back to work anytime soon and we need the cash and I really don't want you to go back to Heaven and Hell."

Castiel's brow furrowed and Dean ducked his head so he wouldn't have to look at Cas's eyes. He hadn't meant for that last part to slip out. He wasn't in charge of Cas and if Cas wanted to go back to his old job then he shouldn't stop him, even if the thought of Castiel stripping again made his stomach churn.

"Dean," Castiel said in a tone that was entirely too level.

"No," Dean blurted out before Cas could say anything else, "You're not going back to your job. Not after what happened. You're gonna go through college and become a teacher."

Castiel's eyes went soft and he voiced reality, "Dean even with you taking on an extra job there's not going to be enough for me to go to college."

"There will be," Dean snapped, grabbing Castiel's wrists to stop him from cupping his face, "I'm gonna find a way. It's gonna be fine, we'll work it out and you-"

"Dean," Castiel yelled as Dean started to ramble. He wrenched his wrists from Dean's grip and angled Dean's face so that he was looking directly at him. "Dean Winchester," Castiel said in the voice that belonged to Emmanuel and not Cas, "It _is_ going to be fine, but understand when I tell you that I will go back to work once I've fully recovered. I won't go back to Heaven and Hell, but I'm not going to let you work yourself to death when I can help. I don't need to go to college. We can just pool our incomes and maybe buy a house with a white picket fence and that will be that."

"No," Dean whined, pressing his nose into Castiel's palm, "I want you to be happy. I want you to get your degree and teach those kids about classic lit and educate them cos you're so good and-"

Cas cut him off again, this time with a finger to his lips as he said, "Dean, I _am_ happy. I'm happier than I've ever been and it's not because of some college degree. It's because of this," he motioned between them, "because of you."

Dean looked at him and the tears that had been stinging at his eyes finally spilled over. Castiel brushed them away and then pulled Dean in for a tight hug. Dean sniffed and clutched Cas to him. He didn't deserve this. Cas was too good for him, too perfect. He needed to be under the hood of a car for the rest of his life, not in the warm arms of his fiancé. His fucking _fiancé_ for God's sake.

"Shhh," Castiel murmured against Dean's hair.

Dean sniffed loudly and then said softly, "Why me, Cas?"

Castiel pulled Dean in for a rough kiss that left them both breathless and then he said, "Why not? I love you Dean."

Dean shook his head. "But I don't deserve you."

"Don't you say that," Castiel said loudly.

Dean couldn't help but think back to that morning so long ago when he had said the same thing to Cas, back when those words had been tugging at his tongue, and now they had said it to each other so many times. Dean meant it each time, and he knew Cas did too, but he shouldn't have this, he shouldn't have Castiel's strong arms around him, or those lips kissing away the trails of tears that still stained his cheeks.

"Dean listen to me," Castiel said softly, rocking a bit, his arms still around Dean, "I love you and I don't give a flying fuck about the shit you think you put me through because it's not true. You're the reason that I want to wake up in the morning."

"Cas please," Dean whined.

He didn't want to hear this. He wanted Cas to tell him to get out, to take the ring back and tell him that he wasn't worth it. But Cas didn't. He grabbed Dean's hand and dragged him into the bedroom, practically throwing him onto the covers before he straddled Dean's waist and locked their lips together.

Dean could taste the salt from his tears on Castiel's lips along with the lingering flavor of the macaroni on Castiel's tongue. He surged up into the kiss, hands fisting into the sheets as he tried to keep them off Cas in fear that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from gripping the other man so hard that he would leave bruises. It was still too soon for them to go at it like they used to. Sure Cas was feeling better, but that didn't mean Dean could ask him to fuck his brains out.

Castiel suddenly grabbed the edge of Dean's t-shirt, yanking it over his head and throwing it off the bed along with his sweater. He pressed their chests together and his hands came to grip Dean's shoulders tightly. Dean gasped against the column of Castiel's throat as Castiel ground their erections together.

"Cas," Dean gasped, "Cas I don't want you-"

"Shut up," Castiel hissed. He silenced Dean by thrusting his fingers into Dean's mouth and ordering, "Suck."

Dean did, moving his tongue over the digits and making a show of filling the air with the sounds of spit squelching around skin. Castiel groaned loudly and Dean didn't know how both their jeans were suddenly gone and Castiel was pushing him back on the bed and humping him furiously, their clothed dicks dragging together in the way that Dean had missed so much.

Dean groaned loudly and jerked his hips up. Castiel's ass was right above his cock and he could feel his dick brush against the crack of Cas's ass, even through their boxers. Castiel bit his lip and then he was dragging his boxers down and Dean's afterward before settling on top of Dean to grind against him properly. Dean bucked up again as Castiel's lips sucked at his pulse point. They were going too fast, Castiel wasn't ready.

"I'm fine," Castiel gasped as Dean made to tell him that they should stop. Castiel buried his nose in the crook of Dean's neck, whimpering, "Dean please. Please just..."

"What do you want?" Dean asked, rubbing his hands up and down Castiel's thighs.

"I want you," Castiel gasped, "I want you now."

"Then take me," Dean said, running his lips down Castiel's jaw. He flicked a finger in the direction of the nightstand. "It's in the drawer. Just be sure, okay?"

Castiel let out a little breath of air and then Dean heard the sound of the drawer being yanked open. Castiel's heat returned shortly afterward and Dean jerked a bit as cool, slick fingers worked at his hole. Castiel slid one in and then two, going faster than usual, so that Dean had to take deep breaths to adjust to the sudden breaching of those long digits.

By the time Castiel had four fingers in Dean, they were both panting hard and Dean was dying for it, for the feel of Cas in him again. "Cas, now," he gasped, "Fuck, please do it now!"

Castiel's fingers left momentarily so that he could slick up his own cock and then he was sliding into Dean in one fluid movement and making them both cry out. Dean gripped Castiel's shoulders. It had been so long, but fuck did it feel so right. Dean was full again and he threw his head back and screamed loudly, not even caring that the neighbors five floors down could probably hear him.

Castiel made a strange sound and then he was pulling out and pushing in again with the strength that Dean didn't think he possessed anymore. He lifted his hips off the bed to try and make Cas hit that spot inside him, but instead Castiel slid out again, and Dean cried at the loss. Then Castiel was flipping Dean over and pinning him to the bed.

Castiel leaned over him so that his chest was to Dean's back and Dean gasped as Castiel fucked into him particularly hard, snapping his hips against him, the sound of skin slapping echoing through the room. Dean gargled Castiel's name and he felt Castiel's lips on his shoulder, and then his teeth as Castiel bit down hard on Dean's shoulder before thrusting into him so hard that the entire bed shook.

Dean cried out and clutched at the sheets. Castile put a hand on his head, pressing his cheek into the bedspread as he pistoned his cock into Dean's ass once more. Dean's dick was pinned underneath him and he could feel the wetness of his precum. Castiel's grip on Dean's hair was becoming painful, but he was hitting Dean's prostate with each thrust and both sensations were overwhelming.

Dean sobbed into the sheets and then he was coming, soaking the comforter, Cas's name a plea on his lips. He could feel Castiel's release soon after, warm, coating his insides before Castiel went completely limp on top of him. He didn't even bother to pull his limp cock out of Dean for some while and then finally he rolled off him, landing beside him and taking deep breaths.

Dean reached a hand out to him and intertwined their fingers. Castiel gripped Dean's hand tightly and then brought it to his mouth, kissing each of Dean's fingers, lingering on Dean's ring finger before pressing his lips to the cool metal.

"Didn't think you were up for that yet," Dean said softly as he inched closer to Cas so that he could snuggle into his side.

Castiel let out a small laugh. "Me neither. But fuck did it feel good."

"You're telling me," Dean breathed. He threw his other arm over Castiel's waist and kissed the jut of Castiel's hipbone, muttering against the skin, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Dean," Castiel replied

Dean didn't know when they fell asleep, but the sunlight creeping in through the window woke him the next morning. He smiled when he saw that Castiel was still lying next to him, curled into his side, breath beating against the fine hair of Dean's stomach. Dean dragged his thumb down the dip in Castiel's spine and then kissed the top of his head, letting his lips linger in Castiel's hair.

Castiel stirred awake, blinking up at Dean with unfocused eyes for a few seconds before he smiled and leaned up to kiss Dean slowly, their tongues dancing lazily together. When they pulled apart Dean said, "You sleep okay?"

Castiel nodded. "Better than I have in weeks."

"Glad to hear it," Dean whispered against Castiel's lips before kissing him again.

They spent the morning lying in bed, just talking quietly about how Dean was going to have to go back to Bobby's next week and he'd be at Ellen's some nights. They spent some time brainstorming for new jobs for Castiel and then Cas made the call to Heaven and Hell. Balthazar was disappointed that Castiel wouldn't be coming back, but he didn't say much more on the matter.

Dean made them a brunch as Castiel flipped through the help wanted ads in the paper. He soon had several circled in red marker and, after calling a few, had an interview set up at a bookstore a few blocks away from Dean's apartment. Castiel seemed to have gotten better overnight and he told Dean that all he needed was to get his mind in the right place. Seeing Sam and Jess had definitely helped and Dean went online to buy them the best baby crib he could find for Jess's baby shower, even though it was still a ways off.

The rest of the week passed quickly and Cas grew stronger each day. He was eating like a teenager and each night he'd slam Dean down onto the bed, saying that he had weeks of sex to make up for. Dean would let him do whatever, taking each thrust and bite with small groans because he had his Cas back again and those blue eyes burned with life each time Dean woke up to them staring at him, crinkled slightly by Castiel's wide smile.

Cas got the job at the bookshop and he was making good money. Mostly because the women that came in appreciated the hot new clerk who always wore fashionable cardigans and tight jean's that framed his ass. Dean often came to visit him when he had a break from Bobby's, if not just to glare at the ladies whose eyes' followed Castiel as he bent over to take books off the bottom shelves.

The nights at the Roadhouse were long, but Dean didn't mind because he got to come home to Castiel's arms and his lips, warm and wonderful. Eventually Dean stopped taking hours there. Castiel's income at the bookshop and his from Bobby's were enough to tide them over with a little to spare and he wanted his nights back so that he could spend them fucking Castiel against every surface of his apartment, where Cas had moved into permanently.

That little house with the picket fence that Castiel had talked about was a far off dream that Dean kept at the back of his mind. Castiel would often bring it up late at night while they cuddled after a few hours of rigorous sex. Dean was adamant that they would get it one day, along with Castiel's diploma.

They picked out a date in August for the wedding and it was the happiest day of Dean's life. Both sides of their families were invited and Dean had to stop Gabriel from making a toast every five minutes to the "great sex that my baby bro and his blushing bride have ahead of them". Sam and Jess's little girl, who had been born a few months before the wedding, was the perfect little angel as Jess rocked her while she watched Sam trying to do the moonwalk during the dancing. Dean nearly split his side laughing at his giant of a brother butchering Michael Jackson's signature move.

The night ended with Castiel shoving Dean into the cab that was waiting for them and then pinning him against the seat of the cab, kissing him soundly while the driver sped off toward the airport. Their flight was spent with hands intertwined and Castiel's head on Dean's shoulder. Dean smiled every time Castiel glanced down at the golden band on his ring finger while their plane made its way to California.

Disneyland was everything they wanted and more. They amassed a rather impressive collection of pictures kissing on each ride, a few of which they bought solely for the reactions of the people around them, especially the time that Cas had thought it would be funny to grind the heel of his palm into Dean's crotch. Dean had yelped loudly and the people in front of them had turned with equally appalled expressions right as the camera had snapped.

They spent way too much money on souvenirs and batteries for the camera, but they had to document everything, especially the kiss in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle. They had to ask a passerby to take it and Dean surprised Cas by sweeping him off his feet and spinning him around while they were lip locked. That picture was Dean's favorite of the bunch and he immediately made it his phone background as soon as they got back to the hotel, right before he fucked Cas with his Mickey Mouse ears still on.

They were both pleasantly sleepy on the plane ride back and they fell into bed that night, ignoring the messages from Sam on Dean's phone in favor of fucking slowly. Castiel let Dean slowly sink into him, muttering lost words against his shoulder as Dean groaned into his neck. They continued to make love through the night and woke the next morning to sticky sheets and a lost pair of pants, which didn't turn up until a week later when Dean finally looked higher than the knobs of his wardrobe and found them hanging from the top of it.

As the weeks turned into months, and months into years, that dream of the house and Cas going to college drifted into more of a pleasant dream than a possible reality. Money wasn't tight, but it still wasn't enough for that dream to happen. That didn't stop Dean from searching for ways to earn extra cash. He even bought a couple of lottery tickets for the hell of it.

Surprised couldn't even describe his amazement when he actually won with one ticket. The overall haul was a hundred thousand dollars and Dean actually fucking squeaked when his numbers came up on the television screen. He didn't tell Cas right away though, he wanted to wait.

He took Castiel out to dinner at the nicest restaurant and broke the news to him right as Castiel was taking a sip of his wine. Castiel spluttered and when Dean reassured him that he wasn't kidding Castiel actually got up and slid into Dean's lap in the middle of the fucking restaurant to kiss him firmly on the lips. Needless to say they were asked to leave after that, but they didn't care. Dean was still on cloud nine when he called Sam to tell him later that evening. Sam's amazement was seconded only by Jess whom Dean could hear screaming her congrats from the other room.

Dean gave Sam and Jess some of the cash and used the rest to put Cas through online college. Castiel aced all his classes and when his diploma came in the mail the first thing he did was swoop Dean up in a bone crushing hug and then give him the best kiss he'd had since their wedding night. The diploma was placed on the mantle next to the picture of the kiss in front of the castle and Dean put an arm around Castiel's waist, drawing him close as they looked at it.

"I'm so proud of you," Dean whispered.

Castiel leaned into the press of Dean's lips against his neck and later that night, as they lay basking in the afterglow of sex, Dean flipped Castiel over so that he could kiss his way down the inky feathers that spanned over the back of his husband. He said those three words with each kiss and when their mouths finally met Castiel whispered them back to him. They worked their way under Dean's skin until they were falling from his tongue again, and he knew he was never, ever going to get tired of saying them.


End file.
